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sd7 with a cell phone

onwardupward's picture

Yet one more step parenting bullshit situation where I have to deal with someone else's shitty decisions. Sd was "twerking" last year, saying she wanted to "sex justin beiber" at age 4 and is constantly getting notes home about the skin tight leggings without a shirt long enough to cover her bottom which wouldn't be THAT big of a deal if SD also wasn't most comfortable lying on the ground, spread eagle. Still pissing her pullups every night but yes! A cell phone! More opportunity for uncensored exposure to hyper sexualized content. Did I mention her tablet from mom had anal rape porn stuck on the home screen last year? That's the kind of care BM provides, this is the kind of kid my kids gave to grow up around. Correction, "have to" would be a stretch and a longer and longer one at that. DH just bitches and does nothing. Sorry for all the cussing and hostility, just needed to vent. Fucking hate this.

Rags's picture

Phone, tablet, meet the limited space between the car tire and the drive way.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

End of problem.

Rags's picture

Much more subtle and effective than my idea Sally. Well done. }:)

SecondGeneration's picture

Yeah Id be just taking it off her too, as soon as she walks in through the door the phone and tablet get taken away.

Ultimately you do not need to justify why you have rules in your house, but here, with BM being able to claim the cell phone is another contact form, you can justify yourselves by stating concern of the graphic behavior and should SD want to contact BM whilst with you she will be allowed to call.

SecondGeneration's picture

To me its a parenting thing, SD4 is a girlie girl, loves wearing dresses, and in the summer it was too warm for tights. Sometimes she would be playing, or watching tv or doing whatever and she'd have her legs wide open.
We'd simply tell her if shes wearing a dress/skirt then she needs to sit with her legs closed because people dont want to see her underwear, or put on shorts.

But in our house, leggings are an alternative to tights, they arent an alternative to trousers and that seems to be what the problem is here.

SecondGeneration's picture

Exactly my point. You cant just expect a child to know how to behave, heck half the time thats what causes issues.

And yes it needs to be age appropriate, yes ok its no big deal for a kid to be sat with their legs open, but they do need to be told/taught from a young age that its not ok if their underwear is on show.

If these skin tight leggings are such an issue, why is the child still wearing them? Kids been allowed to think leggings are another type of trousers.

onwardupward's picture

Not at all slamming Sd. Slamming BM for sure. The things SD has been exposed to are making her hyper sexual in her behavior. Even if I said no cell phone, DH would just give it to her when I wasn't there which is why I don't bother with anything and just sit back and get frustrated over what I have to un do in my kid's mind from the behavior SD's parents allow. Like I said, it was a vent. It's just always something stupid w these people.
I've flat out refused to go places w dh and sd dressed the way she was and yes, while here, she puts on shorts under her mini skirts or regular pants when she gets in.
We've gone through the whole court thing and after DH was granted custody, gave her back, half and half. Nothing's changed. BM moved back in w her mom (without telling DH) where we had to call cps over a video on sd's tablet that suggested molestation w SD's uncle that lives there. Again, DH does nothing. Just bitches, bickers w BM and nothing comes of it so I was just venting. Of course it's on the parents. I like the "teach it how to swim" idea, lol

SecondGeneration's picture

One thing I have seen over and over again on this site is the step parent cannot care more than the biological parent. When that happens, its really going to get tough.

If your DH doesnt care and doesnt recognise any of the behaviors as being concerning and despite you explaining how you do take issue, then theres nothing you can do.
A step parent does not and will not outrank the bio-parents. Its a sad fact then the step parents can see how dangerous some things can become but ultimately our hands our tied.

Can only offer sympathy there