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SD7 and SS9 hitting my husband.

FrickenFrackenBleep's picture

I'm going to try to make this short. We have his kids for the summer (TX) and they go back to their mother (MN)in a week. They have made it clear that they do not want to go back, they even told her. She thinks my husband told them to say it and does not believe them. Anyway... We know that the kids and her have screaming matches at each other. All out, door slamming, screaming matches. This is what she use to do with my husband and one of the reasons he left. So in the past two weeks I have observed the SD and the SS yell at their Dad. And I mean YELL at his in complete anger. Then I observe a wrestling match between the husband and SS turn into the SS becoming IRATE and begin hitting my husband in anger. Like hitting him over and over in a rage. Then today the SD screamed at my husband because she did not get what she wanted. My husband swatted her on the butt. She took a step back and punched him as hard as she could in the ribs. This is a side of these children I have NEVER seen before. I have known them for 5 years. What the Hell is going on!!! My husband and I don't interact in this manner. We do spank (he does) but it is rarely needed. Their mom doesn't spank. We do know she spends like no time with them at home and that they rule the roost. But why the sudden change on this end. Seriously thinking about the possibility of a temporary order to keep them until they can be evaluated. The rage involved in children this age just doesn't seem right. My gut tells me something is WRONG. Any ideas?

Kes's picture

I agree, this does not sound right. Something must be happenening to bring about this level of anger in these children. But it may not be anything too sinister like serious abuse - it may just be as you said that the kids and their BM yell a lot at each other and they have learnt this is the way communication is done. If BM spends no time with them at home and they rule the roost, they may have discovered that hitting is an even more effective way to rule than shouting. Some children are physically quite large at this age already and they may be hitting their mother like this and she may not know how to respond. If she has taught them by example to be angry all the time, hitting is the next logical step on - maybe not for her, but for them. If you or your DH can, I would suggest speaking to her about this and asking her, before you take the step of getting an order/evaluation etc.