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SD23 and Heath Insurance - VENT

iloveit's picture

Ok so I don't know why this bothers me but my SO told me in passing the other day that he picked up SD23 on his health insurance. I understand that the new law states they can be covered until the age of 26 so it's perfectly legal but...this REALLY bothers me. I think part of it has to do with the fact that right now I don't have any health insurance and I feel like it's not fair that she gets to f*ck off and quit jobs and do whatever she feels like doing but daddy will cover her insurance but I can't even get an annual pap! The rule used to be, upon turning 23 OR when you graduated from college (whichever comes first) you would be cut off from your parents' insurance. I'm not even kidding you, DAYS, not weeks but days after I graduated college I got a letter from the insurance company stating that I was cut off and that I had the option to get Cobra which was extremely expensive for me. Don't you think that covering these leaches until the age of 26 enables them even further from taking things seriously? SD23 doesn't have to bother getting a full time job with benefits so you KNOW she's not going to! Her and her sister don't live with us of course and we are going to be engaged pretty soon so I know I will be on his insurance at that point but why does it bother me that she is on his plan? I mean come on, a lot of my friends were already married with families before 26 they were not on mom and dad's insurance! Then SO says, "She knows that she has to cover any extra costs and that I am not responsible for co-pays etc." Yeah right so you're telling me when she begs you for money for some stupid medical thing you're not going to give in? Bullsh*t. These grown adults have absolutely no concern for themselves or their lives or careers, they are just as content to let daddy take care of them...is it just me or is this really annoying????

hismineandours's picture

Yeah I get your point. At 21 I was married, going to college, and providing health insurance for both myself, my new husband, and my sd. I do think an effort needs to be made to ensure everyone in this country-but this seems like a strange way to do it-only extending adolescence even longer.

iloveit's picture

Yes exactly, I don't think it is helping them. I had no choice but to take this job I am at currently because I was unemployed for 6 months and when this came up I HAD to take it...I would be given a pay check and even though I didn't have insurance at least I could pay bills again. It was awful being unemployed, I hate having to rely on people and I busted my ass trying to find this job. Everyone in the office is an independent contractor so they all have their own insurance and as such the office/owner does not offer it. I have to figure out my own situaiton and I get that but it just seems outrageous that you are still considered dependent at the age of 25/26 years old?! I get the economy is still difficult but this is not encouraging these people to live their own lives. I don't want her on the insurance, she needs to get her own. That was certainly the expectation when I was her age!

caya506's picture

Under 26 you have to cover them even if they are married and have their own family!! It's absurd. I'm 26 and haven't been on my parents insurance since I was 20.

horsefly's picture

My DH still pays SD29 (will turn 30 in a couple months) auto insurance!! It makes me crazy!
He just paid her car off for her because she would only send in a portion of the bill, not the entire bill, because she thought that as long as she was paying SOME of it, they would not repossess it!! (duh) Guess what? They repossessed it! She called crying. So, daddy helps her out of that mess and pays her car off!
Now she is supposed to pay HIM monthly! Yeah right. He hasn't seen a dime and doesn't bother asking her for it either.

iloveit's picture

Um 29...MUCH too old to be having things paid for! I just turned 30 a few months ago and I have been paying for my own car insurance and all of my bills/extracuricular stuff since I was probably about 19 or so. My parents helped me out with stuff over the years but ALWAYS with the idea in mind that I was to be responsible for all of these things in life and would not be asking for monetary assistance/favors once I was on my feet. Now to be fair, I did have cars that were sort of handed down to me or I should say I had ONE car, but from my grandmother and they only had about a year or so of life left to them. Regardless, it was understood that these cars got me around and I was grateful. I was responsible for any and all repairs, insurance, gas, you name it.

Jsmom - you are absolutely right, it's probably doing more harm than good. I'm not saying I would have taken advantage of this law or not at that age but I just feel like it keeps them all babies for even longer. I just want these kids to WANT to move on with their lives, not be encouraged to live at home forever! What is wrong with these people...I couldn't wait to be on my own! My first apartment was a shithole but I LOVED it because it was mine and I was taking care of myself!

Jsmom's picture

Gotta love this healthcare plan. None of it works. All this does is encourage these kids to not grow up and be responsible for themselves. There is so much in it that no one realizes. I don't want to get political, but this is absolutely encouraging people to not get jobs and be productive members of society...

Look at the support groups that are in the plan for senior citizens and accepting that they have lived a full life and should stop trying to extend it. That one is sick. They have barely touched on that part of the plan.

iloveit's picture

I know you are steaming right now maux and knowing a little background on your situation I can totally see how this puts you through the roof. It does sort of confirm your thinking and mine that these adults believe mom and dad or at least daddy pays for SD habits because he has the money and/or because he just "Wants to." That's outrageous. My SO makes great money and just because he has enough to pay for their shit does it mean he wants to and likes to? HELL NO! He would rather use the money to take us on vacation or combine it with mine and make a down payment on a home. Thankfully he has recently gotten very sick and tired of bailing them out and has officially put his foot down telling them they need a plan and the grace period for the guilt of breaking up their already dysfunctional family has ended.

We're not married, therefore I don't get to be on his health insurance so I have to figure it out on my own which I am fine with. I don't have a choice it just sucks that she does because she's under 26. Grow up SD's. I really do hate them.

Asher10's picture

that's my biggest fear with sd.i don't ever want to hear this sentence come from her mouth "my parents are loaded, and they have more than enough money to do whatever they want".
I might have to kick her in the teeth if she says anything like that and I am not a violent girl at all.this would tip me right over the edge though.

Asher10's picture

i have to give props for the guts it took to admit that amongst the SMs here.I think I would have kept that little piece of info to myself but I think it's great you're sharing with us to help us see it from another point of view.
I'd still jack SD up though Wink

iloveit's picture

I understand that parents don't want to see their children fail but in all honesty...have you learned anything by allowing them to continue to bail you out? I know that it's difficult out there right now, believe me we've all made our share of mistakes especially when we're young BUT the idea here is that they are enabling these choices that you are making/have made. True they are your parents and they can't take ALL the blame, you are your own person too but parents need to be firm and shape you properly so that when you are 23 you aren't learning responsibility for the first time. Had they pushed you out of the nest at 18 and you were a complete f*ck up but they told you that you needed to figure it out...I gaurantee you would have. It's not one person's fault it's ALL people involved in the situation. What they are saying to you is that it's ok to make mistakes and then make them again and they are behind you in support. If they would have pushed you out on your own you would have had no choice but to get your act together and if you wanted college badly enough you would have figured out a way to do it on your own.

I would also like to point out that you are actually trying to make things work for yourself and that does show maturity. In many of these situations 23, 22, 26 year olds have absolutely no interest in being productive members of society as jsmom put it. This is what really bothers me. You have a whole life to live which is more than A LOT of people have, therefore, it is an incredible opportunity to make something of yourself. If you are 27 and have no interest in working hard, taking care of yourself or being a successful human being then shame on you...you don't deserve the benefits of living a long, healthy life because others support your careless behavior.

JMC's picture

We go through the insurance issue every time SD19 gets the sniffles - DH is on my insurance and he keeps asking if we can put SD19 on there too. No way!! Let her BM add her to BM's insurance. S19 was one who ran to the ER for every little ache or pain and since she doesn't have insurance, that's pretty much stopped. I'm wondering how she's on the cheerleading squad with no insurance - I can't believe the college would allow it unless maybe they cover her for school related accidents only. I know the university where I work requires the students & employees to have insurance either through them or proof of insurance through a private provider.

steptwins's picture

I was 19 when I covered myself by getting f/t job after a year of college. Then I used same co. to pay for my college. Nice pkge - but I had to work, and it was night shift. Tough goings for a really tough gal (me). Whereas DD: 24 and finishing up Today (hurrah) her last class, took her SIX years for b.s. And I paid for everything, even weekly allowance of $150. Why?? Because I got divorced from her dad I got $$$$ & saved it for her college. So I sacrificed for her not to have a life like mine. However, skids will be off my health insurance at 18, per CO. I hate paying for them to be covered & seeing how negligent/accident prone they are and getting benefits under my name makes me angry. DH or BM should be covering them imo they should both be working and parenting their twins vs. sleeping & watching TV all day, or motorcycle riding (her) or golfing (him).

Rags's picture

As a T-1 diabetic I can not qualify for private insurance. I have to be covered in a group and the surest way of making that happen is for me to work for companies with quality benefits.

Back in the day if you were not a full time student you were not covered under a parent’s policy after you turned 18. When I left school at 21, I was no longer covered on my parent’s policy.

I had to start a business in order to get health insurance when I was in my early 20's.

When I sold my business to go back to school full time the only coverage I had was hospitalization coverage through the school. That was a decision I made and risk that I felt was worth it in order to finish my degree.

This is just another governmental interference policy. Though the Senate attempt to overturn Obama Care failed this week I am hopeful that the Supreme Court will rule that this crap is unconstitutional and scrap the whole thing. With a conservative controlled House of Representatives President Obama will not get another shot at taking over 1/6th of our economy and to bankrupt our country through his communist policies.

Everyone in the US can receive care. All they have to do is walk in to an ER and the ER must treat them whether they have insurance or not. Illegal aliens have known this the whole time.

As a T-1 diabetic I have worked for companies that I did not care to work for just to insure that I had coverage. I sacrificed to make sure I had coverage. The taxpayer does not owe people who make poor decisions medical coverage. My wife and I agreed long ago that we would never work for the same company just to insure that we would have access to health coverage if either one of us lost our job and to reduce the risk that we would both be unemployed at the same time.

I lost my job on 9/20/2001. We had to shift to my wife’s coverage through her employer. Our costs went from $200/mo to $700/mo. My maintenance meds cost ~$1400/mo so we were glad to have coverage even at a higher cost. We retained coverage because we made viable plans and followed them.

This is not rocket science and people who do not make viable decisions in their lives concerning medical insurance are not owed coverage by those who do.

Considering my medical condition I should be a pro Bam-Care person I suppose. But wrong is wrong and I will not get on board this bandwagon that saddles the tax payer with an extra $Trillion or so in give-away grab bag costs.

Over the course of human history gov’t has been found to be completely ineffective in doing anything but a few specific functions. Gov’t should be limited to the following IMHO.

1) Law Enforcement. This is the matrix to insure that large numbers of people can form and sustain a society.
2) Basic Infrastructure. Roads, harbors, etc…. This is the foundation of national growth and prosperity.
3) The Common Defense. This protects the nation and its citizens from aggression by other nations or groups of people.
4) Protection and Advancement of National Interests in the International Community. This is the structure under which long term prosperity for a nation is developed and the medium under which a prosperous nation can help develop prosperity in less developed nations.

And a last and small governmental plank;

5) Basic sustenance, housing and protection of citizens not physically or mentally capable of providing for themselves.

Govt should protect those who are providing for themselves from those who are capable but choose not to. This is provided under gov’t responsibility #1. Those who choose not to provide for themselves should receive nothing from gov’t or from those who do unless voluntarily given at the individual level.

We became a great nation on self reliance, benefiting from our own work and on the right to protect our selves, our families and our property from seizure by those who refuse to earn these things for themselves. That works, so let's stick with it.

Sorry for my political rant.

All IMHO of course.

skylarksms's picture

DITTO to almost everything you said, Rags!

It's horrible to not be able to afford the medication that you need to keep you ALIVE!

StillSearching's picture

If the child/adult had some illness that needed to be treated with daily medications then I would understand to a point of their disability but knowing you personally iloveit your SO's daughters have no illness or disability so this is BS. I was cut off my parents insurance right after graduation from high school as well and after my divorce had no insurance for 2 years and survived so I think the young adults including myself can do just fine without parents help. One of my friends is 26 and still has her parents pay for her insurance so I guess some people are more lazy than others. I just know my parents have a life of their own and are wanting to enjoy their finances to themselves instead of having me or my brother mooch off of them. Which has made me a very responsible adult!

iloveit's picture

Yes! And I know stillsearching that you are not a whole lot older than SD but you are waaaaay more mature and responsible than she is because it is what you wanted. Likewise, the only reason I really need insurance right now is to make sure I get my annual exams because those are concerning to me and I think it's important. I will have to go pretty soon with no coverage so it's going to cost me quite a bit. However, I don't complain about it nor do I tell my parents they should help me. Now I know that I am a lot older than SD but I cannot stand how my SO considers them to be such helpless little babies and is sooooo worried about their well being when they are 100% healthy, young people. I'm sorry but 26...way too old for mom and dad's coverage I find that unbelievable. God forbid BM put either one of her adult losers on her plan... but that would involve actually having to take responsibility for anything her kids do so that's not going to happen.

mx4's picture

I like the new rules. I don't want my kids to worry about whether or not they can afford to see a doctor when they need it. My kids used to be on my ex-husband's policy, but when my daughter turned 18, he cancelled her policy immediately (he was no longer obligated by our divorce decree to carry her on his insurance). Nice daddy, no? And the man is a multi-millionaire! Just a POS, makes me so mad!
Anyway, I said, screw it, I just put all the kids on my insurance, and I'll keep them on it. Having a quality health care is not a luxury, or "spoiling" them, or anything else. Everybody should have access to it, and shouldn't go broke every time they need to see a doctor!

iloveit's picture

I would tend to agree with you about it not being a luxury etc but for many people in this country it is. Unfortunately that is just the way it is. My point is not even that they shouldn't have to worry about doctors and insurance etc it's just that it's yet another thing that keeps them children. Don't worry SD23 college graduate, not only can you aspire to be a bartender for the rest of your life, you should not have to worry about insurance issues for at least another 3 years while you are recovering from those near damn near impossible college courses! Poor SD having to work like the rest of us...tough life.