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SD Report Card - Do you Reward or Leave it Be?

AFMOM's picture

So my SD's teacher mails my husband her report cards. We don't live near her. She did ok... Low B's. There was a little note in there about her behavior in class, 78. Just the normal things get in trouble for: forgot book, talking, playing with calculator or glasses while teacher is teaching. Given, this is normal for all kids. Now, my SD is struggling. She is now at the lowest school because she couldn't keep up at the other 3 schools she was at and BM moved her to where she was comfortable. She is doing average work. Education is very important in our household, but it's a little different there which is fine. My husband used to send her $$$ for good grades, but it turns out, the BM just owes her $$$, so the SD doesn't really get to spend it. He just wants to get her something as a "good job" gesture. I was thinking something cool, but on the educational side. Like the new JB book, or something like that. What do you all do for your SKs and grades???

Kes's picture

I don't see any harm in getting her an inexpensive gift, but on the whole I am against rewarding for good grades. Doing well and getting praise should be reward enough in itself - financial rewards from parents imply that the child is not doing well for his/herself, but is doing it FOR the parent.

At the end of the day, educational achievement is for the benefit of the child herself, and her own future prospects. IMO, she should be encouraged to think like this - ie, if she does well, she will have more options later for an interesting job or career of her choice.

StepKidto3Momto3's picture

Can you reward her with an educational experience? A trip to a museum in her area of interest?

SpiderMom's picture

^Good idea. I would have loved that as a kid! My Dad(when we were younger) would give us $5 per B and $10 per A and nothing for anything else. This was a good amount because it was small. But I like the idea of an educational gift better. Or get her something/some for of $ that BM cant use(a gift card to a store only SD likes to shop at?)

PeanutandSons's picture

I don't reward for grades, and I wasn't rewarded as a child either. You are supposed to be good in school and your work. If you don't do your work and get bad grades, the consiquence is more at-home work to catch back up. I refuse to pay kids for meeting minimum requirements.

RedWingsFan's picture

I wasn't rewarded for good grades, that was EXPECTED of me. I sure as Hell was punished for bad grades though!

I can't control what happens with my daughter, as she lives with her dad in Michigan during the school year. Since he strongly believes in doing well in school, she gets punished for bad grades as I did as a kid.

Now SD14; however, thinks that for every good grade she should be celebrated! This is a kid who failed a grade so is only in 8th grade this year instead of 9th. She KNOWS this material so she'd BETTER be doing well in school! She actually called her granddad for the first time since June and said "Granddaddy, you should take me to Red Lobster for dinner because I got an almost perfect report card". Mind you, she hadn't talked to him in MONTHS...

I just think that kids don't have enough expectations on them nowadays. A lot of kids don't have the same amount of chores or responsibilities we had as kids, instead, sitting around playing on their laptops, ipods, ipads, expensive cell phones, and simply skating through life. That's why most feel so entitled to everything and expect things just handed to them. Frustrating!