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SD not happy with room arrangements. What the..?

Crazyness's picture

We get SD7 eow and wednesday for a few hours. She shares "her" room with our baby girl until we get a bigger house and the kids can have own rooms. She was fine sharing "her" room with her sister but had a meltdown when I put some of DDs stuff in 2 drawers in one of the cabinets. She went to daddy and was complaining. And of course I was the bad guy because I didnt ask before I did it! :jawdrop: Are you kidding me?? It has been a while since that happen but I thought about it again and can't believe the guts she has to control. DH said that yes "we should tell eachother before we arrange something in their room" and I dont agree. Theyre kids and I dont think they should be given power. And thats a reason why she doesnt respect him and talks like a teenager when it doesnt go her way, threatens that she wont be coming over anymore.

She has a room in her moms, her grandmas and here she has to share her room. I just can't believe the guts she had to say "why didnt you ask me?". I am the mommy in the house and I do all the housework and I am not gonna ask a kid for a permission. I told her that this is how it is and that she has a sister and she has to share with her. All I did was put some of her clothes from that cabinet in the closet and the first top 2 drawers I cleared for some baby stuff. She has 3 more drawers full of clothes and a closet which I have devided into 2 sections, for her clothes and DD.

Still Have Hope's picture

You are the adult in the house. You do not have to ask permission to rearrange items in your own home. Make sure you DH understands this. Tell you SD when she has her own home where she pays the bills then she gets to decide where things go and who get their own room.

cmacdonald77's picture

I don't think it's unreasonable. My children and his children had to share rooms, dressers ( The "boys" room and "girls" for 9 months until we got a bigger house)and the girls had to share a bed while we were showing the house. They don't get to say what happens, but they can say they don't like it. I would tell DH that SD has no choice but to share and that she may want to start getting used to it. Everything with the baby is new and it is going to take some getting used to on everyones part.

Good luck!

simifan's picture

^^^^^
This I agree totally. When she paid room & Board she can have the courtesy of being TOLD beforehand.

Shaman29's picture

This post reminded me of when DH and I moved into our house. His' kid (11 at the time) showed up for her visitation weekend and started asking about all of the changes to the house, they weren't the same as before. So of course DH jumps up and starts changing things until EVIL Shaman asked them what in the HELL did they think they were doing? His brat pipes up.....Daddy said I could change things around! I looked at her and said "You better put things back the way I had them now, or Daddy's going to be living alone back at his old place." I looked at DH and said "We are the adults living here full time, she is only here EOWE and a few weeks in the summer. SHE does NOT get a choice of where our things go, Do You Understand? It's NOT her choice"

He tried to do the weasel thing...."Shaman.....I just want her to feel like she's a part of this house."

I repeated again "If you decide to allow a child to decorate my house or tell me where my sofa is going to be, then I will move out and get my own place. I will not allow any little kid to dictate to me how my living space is going to look. Do you understand, or do I call the landlords and break the lease on our fist week?"

Needless to say he saw the error of his way.

12yrstepmonster's picture

I feel your pain SD was much the same way. It was so bad that she told ODD that she was not allowed on her side of he room or allowed to touch her things when she wasn't there! Then we were told by BM tht she needed her own space she could get away....Really BM she was sharing a room with SS at the time in a 900 sqft house. She NEEDS space at your house. She just needs to figure out how to get buy 4 days a month at mine.

We caved- and 10 yrs later got us no where- esttablish your boundaries- families make concessions to get along.

buttercookie's picture

she's 7 and don't live there all the time. They all are making a big deal out of this. I personally wouldn't ask a kid permission to do anything but yeah in the future to make things easier I'd let her know changes so she don't feel left out. Example "I need to put your sisters stuff her, yours is in this drawer" and even doing that is a doing a lot more than anyone would do with a bio kid. These steps and guilty parents have some nerve