ok so, here why I searched out a forum, I am unsure how to handle my SD. Her Dad and I parent together in everything and neither of us are sure what to do. My Skids BM ignores them, putting them in front of the TV or PC or sending them off with My husbands parents or grandparents when she has them (she only has them 3 days every other week). So as you can imagine they are practically starving for their mothers attention (SD is 9 SS is 11). Now we previously had HUGE issues where the kids were going over and being fed bs that they were repeating at school and at Davids parents house etc which ultimately led to CPS coming to our home, becasue the childrens lies had gotten to a concerned teacher at school..and spread form their to the BM delight, CPS came, said that obviously BM is just starting trouble and the best route is for the kids to be with us as much as possible ( this was a cps phd).

Now thats the background, My husband has custodial custody of the kids after all of her pointless bs, but we had to get counseling for the kids. My SS has moved past it and refuses to take part in their "gossip sessions" and lies..he full out told us everything they were told to lie about us and to us and that he refuses to hurt us anymore because BM tells them too..hes a smart kid and is tired of being hurt. BUT my SD is another story, she will come home with her mothers mean attitude, nasty and uncaring of anyone around her untill she adjusts back..then for example,..last night she was being pissy with her SB..ok kids argue they are 9 and 6...so i called her out and asked her why she is talking to her SB like that and she said because she was mad..so I was gonna have her simply apoligize and be done with it..kids are kids... out of the clear blue while shes talking she rolls off her toungue "you lie and get me into trouble for nothing all the time.." My mouth just dropped..I was like "what"?

Firstly I don't know where this even came from, secondly its of course untrue. She hasn't even been in trouble for lie 4 months untill last night...we asked her why she is saying such things and she said straight out, its the only way Mama listens. I mean, what can I do? I have tried everything. I am a christian woman, I believe and teach respect (yes even for their BM) love and forgivness...but for 2 years now I have been the blunt of lies and gossip to my Stepbabies and My SD whom Ive been working so hard with just uses me like toilet paper.

Secondly, this woman is so bad, my SD has a UTI and yeast and she refused to take her to the doctor, her dad and I took her and that poor little girl needed her Mama..it was so embarassing for her. I did my best to be there for her..but I know I'm not the same. I am just trying to keep stable in this as its really starting to eat at me..it hurts and I really don't know what else to do besides talking to her and continuing to stay positive and forgiving..any thoughts?

~Chrissie