Sd got caught sneaking food
So we had a dinner party and someone brought cupcakes. Well there were 4 leftover cupcakes, the next day we went to the beach. We all had a blast, built sandcastles, we came back late at night. I noticed that the cupcakes were still in the container in the kitchen, when i was closing up the house before we went to bed.
The next morning i saw them still there. I was about to throw them away, but decided to go plant my herbs that were growing in my window sill instead. Dh and dd were watching a movie and sd was all alone playing the SIMS in the other room (right around the corner of the kitchen) come time for lunch i came in and all the cupcakes were gone. I threw away the box. I asked some i was making myself lunch If anyone wanted me to make them something. Sd said she just ate breakfast, but i know she was done eating breakfast before i went out to the garden.
Then after dh had lunch he asked where the cupcakes went. Sd got up from the computer and went to her room. I told dh that i suspected sd took them. He turned it around and asked why i didn't think dd took them. Well, dd was with him watching movies, it would have been really difficult for her to have taken any. I told him that i was outside for a few hours planting and weeding in the garden. Sd was the only one who had any opportunity to take any without being suspicious. And when he asked she quickly left the room.
He called sd back out and questioned her she denied it and denied it. Finally he watched the video and low and behold, sd ate all the cupcakes that were left.
Dh yelled at her, told her she was stealing, that can end up with her in prison, that she is a liar. He took her phone. Im not sure if he told her mom or not. Of course at this point sd is hysterical. But not because she feels bad. But because dh "scared her" because he yelled.
Later on dh said he felt bad for telling at her but he's just so worried that she's going to end up in juvenile detention. She's stolen money from her mom and her 7yo brother. She's stolen candy from school fundraisers. She's eaten her brother's entire birthday cake.
I know we need up by not throwing them away. So i feel partly responsible. But at some point she needs to know staying is wrong, eating 4 cupcakes is wrong, she needs to know NOT to do that.