SAHM
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Hi! I'm new I just have a few questionsso basically my DH found out he had a D when she was 2- shortly after we got together and got married and started a family we just had our second son and now the BM of our SD7 wants more support.im a sahm and we are barley getting by paying Cs now I can't imagine what it will be like if she gets more$$. My DH said I'm going to have to get a job! I am so upset that I can't sah w my boys. My question is is do they even concider us and our way of life? Our other boys? We dont get assistance but paying more Cs I don't know how we're going to feed out own kids.
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Well if you have to go out to
Well if you have to go out to work and then pay for child care for your kids I can't see you bringing home much of an income. That aside, if you have to go to work to help support this child, then I would hope he expects the mother of this child to also go out to work to support her too. Now, does it take 3 adults working to support one 7 year old. I don't think so.
Thanks for your input! I've
Thanks for your input! I've been so distraught bc I can't stand the thought of leaving my little boys yet. Apperently she got a job after 7 years of riding the welfare system. We just got a financial statement that we need to send in. So we're just a bit nervous. Ugh I hate this stuff. So glad I found this place.
A job on her part could prove
A job on her part could prove beneficial on your end. I just briefly looked at the guideline/estimated calculator scenario for your state. Myself being someone from IL , I found the guidelines far more detailed and 'fair' in determining CS then my state. For instance, I've never seen the automatic COLA built in the way your state does.
Easier said than done, but stressing over this isn't going to stop the review process and the end result will be whatever the court/guidelines allow. It all looked pretty cut and dried. Fill out the paperwork as fully and honestly as the reality of it. If you use the online estimate calculator to then run the numbers, you'll get a ballpark idea of where you'll stand (you'll need the numbers/facts of the BM also).
It was all there...dental, healthcare, amount of each parents potential gross income, division of parenting time, childcare, whether are not there is any state program assistance ect. In your example if BM has never had childcare cost as she didn't work, that might be something new to the figures as afterschool care may now be needed.
As to you getting a job, that's really something between your DH and yourself. A wife and two children to fully support plus a third child to partially support is a lot of pressure and expectation on your DH . The hardest part to remember is your DH would owe this CS to the BM whether you and your two children existed in his life now or not. You need to try not to resent the child does indeed take income out of living expenses for your home.
Lots of mothers would surely choose to be SAHM if their family circumstances allowed it, but it's not always realistically possible. After you know what the situation is on your DH's CS part of his income, you may have to come to the realization that DH can not support the entire 'group' all by himself. As much as you'd like to be a SAHM, two of these children do belong to you as well as they do DH. A part time evening job and/or weekend job may be something DH and you will have to consider. Only you and DH can decide what's best for your family's household.
I agree that you shouldn't
I agree that you shouldn't have to work to support his other children. Maybe he needs to get another job??
I mean, he did procreate these kids..not you!
and yes, this kids' moms need to be working as well. I can't see you making very much money after daycare is paid as well as gas and clothing to be able to really contribute to your family's problem. Maybe you can make something and sell it?
Or work from home doing something?
Regardless, I feel you and you spouse should be able to decide your lifestyle not his baby mamas.