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Sad. BM never "offers" DH time with SD6 on Christmas.

Butterflykissesandlicks's picture

First, thanks to "Mississippi" on here for pointing out a very important chapter in the book "Divorce Poison", ch. 9 "Letting Go" for my DH. It tore him apart but was exactly what he needed to read. He did do such yesterday morning and emotions varied from angry to denial to crying to back and forth again. I think he "gets" it at last although he will need a lot of help to cope in the near future.

Here is what the ex-wife and stepbrat6 have sent DH for the holidays. A proposal to increase child support conviently before BM's NEW W-2's show up to be calculated with her new earnings. Nice shot!- try Mr. Freebie P.A. but I am not stupid nor is my DH. You can wait until BM's earnings FINALLY reflect what she is truly pulling in before you take this man to court and he is issued some canned goods and a tent to go live in, after Mr. Judge }:) is through with him. Not gonna happen but, Hey man! nice shot! Wink

So yet again, no calls nor wish from his daughter SD6 to come around the block to visit with her family here on Christmas. BM never even offered it to DH. It IS court ordered that BM has this day with SD6 but would it kill the woman to give the other parent a little time with their own child? We only live a mile away...What a cold hearted bi*ch. I never could do that with my own kid. Some of these women are truly, sick in the head.

Whatever. Moving onward. We plan on having gifts and dinner tomorrow regardless. I'm trying to get DH's thoughts away from misery. "Trying." I am giving him one more chance to let go of all of these past problems and start moving "on", or he knows Butterfly will fly away. Forever. Yes, I told him that yesterday. Focus on the love you really have under your nose DH, NOT on "those" ( including, yes, SD6) who really want nothing to do with you. Things can change in the future. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worst. DH does not deserve to be bullied and used and "ganged up on" by BM and his own daughter. I know the kid is severely brainwashed but this man gave both of them a lot. A house, car, college degree (BM), child support, etc. What a way to treat someone who did so much for you guys. ho ho ho

I can only "dream" of having a dad like that back in my life. It never happened.

Merry Christmas to all of you and make it, if you can, a very happy new year!!!

~ Butterfly

Anon2009's picture

SD is 6. Her behavior is wrong, but the person who has to bear the blame here is BM. I don't know that at 6, SD fully understands what is going on here & what she's doing.

That being said, I hope karma bites this BM very hard.

Butterflykissesandlicks's picture

I agree completely. DH is VERY hurt and has every right to be. I, as said above, could only have dreamed for a dad to want me as much...

Sad day. Hope BM enjoys her torments. One day that will come back on her. I've seen it happen many times in my life. I have to keep my faith.

oneoffour's picture

I wonder if your DH wants to write all his feelings and thoughts down. Nothing vindictive. Just thoughts aobut what he did that day and how he wanted to share it with her but 'couldn't'. No accusations. Just facts.

In time the 6 yr old will get older and want to know so much about her father despite her mothers hateful attitude.

Then he can hand her the journals and say "Read. This is what I wanted to share wiht you."

Butterflykissesandlicks's picture

Oneoffour- Thank you.

That is exactly what he will be doing. That was mentioned in the book, "Divorce Poison" ch. 9.

Butterflykissesandlicks's picture

Kris- I'm sure hoping that the judge will see how horrible this has been in between the relationship of father and daughter. Good thing DH printed out EVERYTHING to take to court.