"She isn't family." What does that have to do with common decency? It's going to kill him to say, "Hi," and acknowledge your presence?

Your husband needs to teach his kid to respect others, family or not.

Stop doing anything for him. Continue being a role model and acknowledging his presence, but don't go out of your way to do things for him.

Sounds like you've got an easy summer then. I would be polite and respectful, but not lift a finger for him. Step-kids need to learn sometimes that they are right and that as steps we are not "family" in that strictest biological sense and so we can just choose to stop doing stuff for them. 

Agree with hereiam but what is the actual situation?

Was he super fresh separated when you were introduced? How did DH handle things? No blame is on you at all but maybe DH had a problem going over things with him?

Don't do anything for him right now but do ask DH to ask more.  The kid may need professional help and his cry for attention is to try and bother you. 

He's 14 meaning he's starting to understand things and there's likely some pain there

 Either internal or some fresh PAS

Make DH get chid care, summer camp  sport camp.  Kid is out of the house when DH is not home 

I married his dad when he was 15.5 and we have 2 kids together. He does not acknowledge them or me. Actually told his dad early this year that he wasn’t wrong to shun me, ignore me and not acknowledge me or our kids (his half siblings) because i’m a stranger and that he is incapable of affection which is why he ignores our kids and that was in response to hubby telling him off the month after my daughter was born how upset hubby was that his son didin’t acknowledge his sister, pretended we all don’t exist...

anytime hubby told him to do chores, empty the trash and clean his dirty dishes and vacuum his imaginary stress syndrome comes along and this is a manipulative tactic to shut hubby up.

late last yr (several months) after sd23.5 and 14.5 reinitiated contact, home environment deteriorated, hubby tossed me and our kids to the side and dropped everything for skids and claimed he had to be fair and spend time with everyone. I laid the facts with hubby the time spent, how we had urgent priorities like vaccinations for our toddlers that hubby would prioritise playing taxi driving for 4+ hours to pick up skids and then sit in silence at some restaurant unless skids ranted about bio mum and stepdads life since the last visit

now here is the kicker, my husband is asian along with his ex and 3 skids, we live in asia currently, i’m aussie, my 2 kids will be schooling in Australia as its free and better quality of life better standard of living. Every year we fly back to my home down under to visit my dad and relax. Hubby’s workmates often come for a golf trip too for a few days.

skids do not come. Since they are not my family and never will be, since me and their half siblings are strangers until they can manipulate and use them or us to show off to people, not one of these shithead arsehole skids will ever be welcome in my childhood home, not even on the driveway. 

So far hubby has never even suggested it because he sees that trip as something to manage the relationship and familyties with my dad. Believe me my dad has stated to me no skids of yours are welcome. Their attitude, behaviour, disrespect, narcissm, failure to launch and the list goes on, batshit crazy hcgubm who has brainwashed these 3 skids of mine, my dad himself said he just doesn’t feel happy or comfortable with skids, they actively make it known they don’t want you around them except my hubby is in denial but my inlaws aren’t and questioned me about alot of skid issues, they didn’t realise how bad it was and were gobsmacked jawdropped when i told them.

my dad keeps remembering that moment when my 1st born was 5 weeks old and i was in tears on the phone to my dad just how my husband and ss treated me and ss laughed about it... hubby was in panic mode... 

next week am flying back to my country as i am currently finishing my university studies and my daughter starts school next year followed by her brother the following year... since lte last year i disengaged and maintained it. Hubbys denial thought since its been 10+ months that he could guilt me or try to pull this “one big fake happy family bullshit” nope not buying it. 

I made it very clear i would have no relationship with them, apologies were too late, not one of the skids has apologised for their behaviour as they say they did nothing wrong ever, bad manners (i did nothing wrong) then pathetic excuses are given...

sd’s like to use my kids and brag about them so they seem so upper class and like sisters if the year when there has never been a relationship to begin with 

i told my hubby last year when i made it clear i was disengaging that our 2 kids will grow up seeing his 3 toxic ferals and how they treat others like shit including me and hubby and they won’t ever want a relationship with them...thats on hubby for being a pathetic parent to skids and allowing this ridiculousness to continue for so long

Often disengaging is the only way to survive and live your life.

op you have a ss who is rude and disrespectful and not raised with basic manners. Your husband should have jumped to your defence and said “EXCUSE ME!! That woman is my wife and my family and she works her arse off to take care of us, you will be appreciative and respectful of her when you are under my roof and you will never talk that way ever again!!” 

But in saying the above hubby knows he would have ss chuck a hissy fit, exwife going crazy.

your husbands idea of addressing the issue is him telling ss off, ss ignores and continues as usual and hubby thinks his amazing parenting job is done... NEWSFLASH!! It isn’t!!

I agree with hereiam. Be cordial but disengage and your DH should teach the brat to respect you and other adults.

It bothers because I do a lot at the home for not only the kids but for us all... all I demand is that respect but how...Where do we go from here... tips advice 

Stop doing anything for him. If he continues to ignore you so be it. Not sure if he was taught basic respect for others but if that's what he chooses than he's a non factor in your house. Disengage and do you darlin'!

Rudeness should be met with overwhelming consquence.

I would let DH know that "If I am not family, neither is he."

"He is not family, I don't have to feed him."

"He is not family, he is not welcome in my home. He leaves within 5 minutes or I call the police.  "

He is not family which makes him free labor.  He does chores all day every day or I change the door locks.He can start with the massive pile of everyone's laundry and get it washed, ironed, folded and put away. "

This is fun.  Get creative.  Keep dumping his own words back in his face with increasingly irritating application until he either leaves or gains clarity.  Make sure that you rub this kids nose in the stench of his rudeness in front of daddy and as publically as is possible.  Daddy needs to jerk a knot in this kid's tail.