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Right I am bloody angry now . . . .

Run 4 the hills's picture

Right! I am steaming angry.

After years of my partners' parents having continued contact with his ex, when they know that my partner is opposed to it, he has now made peace (of sorts) with them and goes to see them etc. I avoid them where I can as I don't like the way they behave. They are disloyal, two faced liars. hey ho.

I received a friends request from hismother on Facebook which I didn't want to accept but felt if I didn't it would be viewed dimly. just been in and checked out the 'Family photos', there are several of him and her with their kids from years ago! Will these people just not move on!

Am resisting the urge to email her and either say here is a pic of us for your family album OR don't you think things have moved on in the last 8 years? Why invite me to be a friend and then put pics of HER with my partner in your family photos?

I am so angry!!! I shouldn't be surprised but this takes the cake.


Run 4 the hills's picture

I am fuming here! Needed some input. I just yeled at DH to say if he doesn't bring this up with them then I will. He wasn't on the same page. Apparently I am overreacting!

Trouble is if I say something I am the scapegoat as usual.

This is such bollocks. I should not have to put up with this.

Truth is I can't stand these people. If they still let her in their house after everything she has done (which is a whole other story) then they must be the total assholes that I know them to be.

Disprespectful doesn't even cover it.

Should I email them ???? Polite but to the point?

instant-family's picture

I had the same kind of situation. Not so much with FB, but DH's parents kept going over to BM's house for SS's birthdays, to babysit for her, and even for some holidays. (Note: they also would see their grandchildren at our house). BM also would call them and tell them what is going on in her personal life. I would go to DH's parents house and there would be pictures of BM and DH all over the house. DH would take the pictures down and rip them up. He talked to his parents so many times, but they just didn't care. They continued to do what they were doing. So finally I sent them an email and basically told them that they are disrespecting us and that they are hurting their son by doing all of this. The email did not go over well and they told DH that I was the reason they don't have a relationship with their son.
In the end it worked out, but it was a nasty ride for four months. Although I still have not seen the in-laws, DH's mother has reached out to me through email, but is acting as if nothing happened. DH is very understanding to my feelings and has done everything he could to fix this ugly situation. But I still don't even want to see or talk to his parents and I avoid them at all costs.
So my advice is to be careful with sending an email, it didn't go over well in my situation. But I'm the type of person who will let people know how I am feeling. (not always a good thing)

Run 4 the hills's picture

Apologies for the language I am steaming angry. Don't usually swear like that.

Run 4 the hills's picture

Please do. Would make interesting reading. the dynamics of his family are so screwed up!

CrystalRE's picture

My husbands parents had his "family picture" with his exwife and children on their walls for years (just took it down 6 months ago)! They still even have their wedding photo album on the coffee table for guests to view (We have been together for 4 years, married for one)! I think it is a horrible and insensitve thing to do! What is wrong with these people!

Run 4 the hills's picture

Horrible insensitive people indeed - I agree. I have had it with them.

DH called his mother today and had a big row with her. she didn't see why I had a problem with it! What?? Also said that she had never put them on the page in the first place. What a cow.

I want nothing further to do with his family. That is IT!

She was so mature about the situation that she de-friended me.

Clever. Playground nonsense.

CrystalRE's picture

at least you dont have to worry about dealing with her of Facebook any more! Wink

melis070179's picture

I wouldn't be able to bite my tongue on that one. I would definitely confront her. Then if she doesn't take them off, delete her a$$

"You never realize how short a month is until you pay child support"

CVOinNorthernVA's picture

How rude of this person to invite you to be her friend on FB and then have these pictures there. Or was that the whole point in the first place. Why would you need friends like that. Block or delete her and when she ask why tell her why. Tell her you don't need friends like her or the rest of them as well. To me it sounds like they "all" are doing this on purpose to get under you skin. Don't let them! And don't stoop to they level(low lives).As one of my old sayings....don't let them rent space in that pretty little head of yours. Meaning don't give them a second thought. Move on with more productive things in yours and your husbands life. These people sound like they don''t have a life and are miserable with themselves. So in order to feel good about their life they want to pull someone else into their misery.YOU.
Move on my friend that will eat at them more than you will ever know....Smile and be HAPPY...
Yes it does SUCK! But move on...............Good luck to you...

Run 4 the hills's picture

So after I got home yesterday and was de-frinded by his brother as well I wrote this on DH's wall, plain and clear for all (inc. his mother and brother) to read:

it is a funny old thing family isn't it? No matter how much you tell them not to have contact with your ex they do - against your wishes. No matter how many times you repeat it to them they do not listen. They don't seem to understand the concept of leaving the past behind and moving on. They don't seem to understand that the only reason she has anything to do with them is to try and drive further wedges in your family. She is manipulative and very good at appearing innocent whilst trying to cause the maximum amount of damage she can.

I hope they are all very happy with themselves. What a shame your family can't support and embrace you like any other. Bizarre behaviour. You don't understand it and neither do I. Neither do we need it frankly!

Well, where were they when you needed them? Nowhere, that's where because they were all too busy sucking up to your ex, stirring things and ignoring you. Birds of a feather flock together as they say . . .

- - - - - - -

LOL! If you mess with a lion you're gonna get roared at! Made me feel better and I don't feel tainted as though I have sunk to their level. AND it is a nce public humiliation for them just like the one they tried to dish out to me! I just told it like it was Smile
Stand back and wait for the fallout but at least you can guarantee I won't be invited up for any cosy little get togethers in the future. THANK GOODNESS!!!!

Might not tell DH about the message on his wall for a while so I can guarantee the success of them reading it. . .