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Rewarding poorly behaved kids

newwtostepguy's picture

My girlfriends kids just got back from a vacation in which they behaved very poorly according to my gf, which I beleieve because Ive seen when they act this way. Their grandma was also on vacation with them and was around this. However the day they got back granmad takes them to a movie and ice cream and gf was happy about how much they loved the movie. Why would you reward poorly behaved kids?

I love dogs's picture

Some people just don't get it, especially enabling parents and grandparents. Why would kids who just got back from vacation need to go to a movie and ice cream anyway?

A couple months ago when I was dropping SD off at her therapy appointment, she got mad at something I said and slammed the car door in my face and didn't say bye, thank you, nothing. I confronted her and told DH but instead of reprimanding her because "he didn't witness it" he gave her the $100 gift card he promised her a month before for being "good".

If my spouse told me that my child treated him that way, the LAST thing my child would get is a $100 gift card! He said he "handled" it and let him be a parent but I doubt he said a damn thing to her.

Curious Georgetta's picture

and a trip for ice cream as a normal everyday type outing and not a treat or reward.

That does not mean that there should not be discussions  and consequences for behavior but not every event is viewed by the provider as a treat or reward.

Probably neither grandma not the kids relate  the trip to the movie  to any actions on the vacation.

Grandma,clearly was not so off put by their behavior that she did not want to spend even more time with them.

I do not think that most grandparents want to be cast in the role of disciplinarian. Maybe the solution is for mom not to take them out for a movie or trest because of their vacation behavior.

 

Lndsy747's picture

My Sd16 got caught with condoms (had sleeping with 4 guys over the last year), drinking, and was caught with weed. Her mom said she was cracking down was going to delete social media, throw out all her crop tops, and that she had to earn privaledges back. She's still on IG so the time and went to go see Beyonce with her mom in a crop top. 

I hate this new age parenting with children not being held accountable. I can't imagine what this generation will be like as adults.