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Respect

onthefence2's picture

This is from a Christian org but still excellent advice. I think if you can't find yourself handling your skids this way, you do NOT want to marry into this!

http://blog.dc4k.org/archives/3480

notasm3's picture

That's fine for a 5 year old. But for an adult or almost adult skid I call bullshit.

Being a poor widdle COD has a short life span. Yes trauma is trauma, but as I am older I saw children who either had fathers who did not come back from WWII or who came back with missing pieces. That's real trauma.

When one is becoming an adult you have to let go of using excuses for making poor decisions. Choosing to be an asshole and treat others like shit is a CHOICE - and a bad choice.

Andie91801's picture

Agree.

I'm with you on this. For adult ad especially most of adult Skids...they chose to do whatever benefit them and have no problem hurting/screwing everyone else that include their own parents.

Everything is a choice.

A.

Delphi's picture

I totally agree. My parents divorced. My Mom was extremely abusive. I still had respect for adults - and yes, it was taught to me. I understood the difference between being a brat and being respectful.

I'm calling total BS on this article.

AllySkoo's picture

I have to say I'm not entirely sure I agree with the article either. I mean, it's great in theory, and if you're dealing with NORMAL kid (young ones) and a LIMITED time frame, then maybe.

*shrug*

But I take issue with several things there. One, equating divorce with abuse and neglect. NO. Just no. Two, the article seems to claim that ALL children of divorce are incapable of respect. (ie: "in reality it [learning respect] is not going to happen with the child who has experienced some sort of crisis such as the divorce of his or her parents.") I don't buy that for a hot minute. Three, the assumption that "no one" has modeled respect and that's why children are disrespectful. Don't buy that either - I've seen some VERY good parents, who DO model respect, with some out of control kids. (It's usually because either the kid has started running with other "bad" kids. Kids actually learn from other KIDS, not adults.)

I dunno, I can see why the article would be appealing, but it doesn't ring true for me.

Strengthh's picture

Yup........better divorced parents stay single than subject the little asshole they have raised to any one else

EOWinparadise's picture

I would use this in my classroom. In my home? With a 13 year old? NO!

Calypso1977's picture

My SD was never disrespected by me, my fiance or her mother and grandparents. She has lived a charmed life. She has no reason to behave how she does.