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Strong mom's picture

I love my dh so much and when it is just us everything is great but sometimes I wonder if I should have married him. Skids are so rude and so mean to him and they barely speak to me. There is a lot of parental alienation from his ex. When skids are visiting (school breaks and summer) he ignores it all and caters to whatever they want. We have my kids half the time and he is so hard on them. I am so frustrated because if I say anything about skids he is mad but when he says something about mine it is ok and they should change even though they are far more respectful than his. I can't imagine being without him but I am so sick of fighting over his kids. Sometimes I think I should not have married him.

Amcc13's picture

It's an awful situation. You need to sit together and develop a parenting plan for both sides. This can literally be ' you don't discipline my kids and I don't yours. If you see something you tell the other and they will consider it and respond appropriately' You also need to tell him how all this makes you feel - that you are close to leaving cause of the misery and double standards of the household.
If you can't sit together, councillor may help you.

Strong mom's picture

I don't think we could live apart. Financially I don't think that would work plus we really do want to be together. We spend most of our time together when we are not working. I have been thinking about it and I guess since I don't want to leave, I have to learn to sea with it. One big problem for me is their attitude. No matter what we do to make their visit good, they are unhappy and mope around the house all the time. I can't stand the negative energy they bring into my house. I will back off where his kids are concerned and make sure my kids are parented how I want. Our kids are not with us at the same time often so they won't really know the difference.

TASHA1983's picture

Let them mope! Neither of you are there to "entertain" them and jump at their every beck and what makes YOU happy while they are there, let your DH deal with their miserable asses when they are there and you go do something that makes you feel good (a jog, the gym, out with your gal pals, vistit family etc)

I personally loathe my skid and dread his EOWE "invasions" as I like to refer to them as...I have managed to avoid him many times and on several occasions spent the whole day out of the house doing things with my family and on my own and not get home until he is asleep! Smile