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Received a message saying that SD is being abused...please help!!!

minerva385's picture

My husband and I both received a message on myspace from an individual that neither of us knows. The first message asked if my husband was SD's dad, said that they were pretty sure he was (they named SD), then stated that the individual thought our BM was in jail or was going to be heading to jail soon. They provided us with BM's mother-in-laws name, stating that if we wanted to know more we should ask her. I sent a message to the MIL and Hubby sent a reply back to the individual that had originally messaged us, asking if she was ok and if she needed any help. The reply to that message was that SD would be better off if BM was in jail. That BM had previously been living with a pedofile(sp?) and that SD had probably been molested. It also said that SD's mom was abusing her.

Now, ordinarily I wouldn't jump to conclusions based off of a random message we received from someone we don't even know, BUT when we visited SD in December she had two accidents in two days where she pooped herself. This is very unusual, as she has been potty trained since she was about 2.5 years old and is now 5. When I related these instances to my friend, she told me that SD having this type of "accident" is often a sign that she has been sexually abused (ie: sliding backwards developmentally). SD was also very aware of her body. She was uncomfortable changing in front of anyone, insisted on having help from her mom even though she is 5 and should be able to dress herself (it was just putting pants and a t-shirt on instead of a dress. When she was alone with us, she did these things independently). BM told me before that SD has a hard time "bonding" with males.

We've messaged the MIL, asking for more information, but have not heard back. We haven't contacted BM yet, because we want to have all of our ducks in a row, so to speak. What can we do to best prepare ourselves? This is horrible!!! I swear if that miserable wretch let that poor child get hurt because of her own selfishness and stupidity she will NEVER see her child again.

We are 1200 miles away and it feels like there is nothing that we can do for her. Nothing that we can do to protect her.

kphotog's picture

This happened to my older "brother" his ex wife started dating a registered sex offender, and while he didn't do anything to my nephew his ex lost custody for putting her child in danger.

You're doing the right thing making sure right now and not jumping to conclusions. I hate parents who put their children in danger like this, IMO they should all be taken out back along with their pedofile things.

minerva385's picture

I agree with you kphotog! They should all be shot! I am so furious and afraid for SD right now. The way the message sounded was that she WAS living with a pedofile but not currently, BUT is still being abused by BM regardless. My friend thinks I should call the cops ASAP and have them do an investigation. I just don't know how credible it is to say "well, I got this message from someone I didn't know and I want you to go yank my SD from her home NOW"

Thetis's picture

Dont call the cops until you have something more concrete. Unless you personally know a cop you can give this information to, you could get in trouble for filing a false claim.
CPS may be a better bet.

Totalybogus's picture

The best thing to do is to call Child protective services. They can investigate and it and determine if the child is in danger or not.

kphotog's picture

I agree with Totaly, calling CPS is probably going to be the best thing right now. Getting the person who messaged you to call CPS might work better, since parents that are divorced call CPS on each other so much abusing the system it might not be taken as seriously.

minerva385's picture

That is a good idea. I don't know if a total stranger(to us) will do it though, but hopefully. Apparently, as we are just now finding out, BM and her SIL (who is not 18) got into a fight and BM punched the SIL in the face. Apparently BM did this in front of BM's 3 year old son. The SIL and her family have pressed charges against BM and are trying to get her arrested. I think this may be the "she is in jail or going to be soon" comment we received from the mysterious person.

Anon2009's picture

I agree with kphotog. Have the person who messaged you call CPS and send that person copies of your documentation. Get to know the person- look at their profile, and ask for their email address, phone number and address so you can forward them the copies of your documentation, and ask them to give the documentation to CPS. You might want to do an online People Search on this person. It's not that expensive and it can help to give you an idea about their character. Also, have your DH get on the phone with his lawyer ASAP so he can find out where to go and what to do from here.

I have a sinking and heart-wrenching feeling that SD was abused. Here's a link to a site that lists some of the symptoms of molestation:

http://74.125.93.132/search?q=cache:DZZVG6NNcl4J:early-childhood-develop...

Please keep us updated on how this turns out. We're all praying for you and especially SD.

DISbelief's picture

Call CPS right now. Don't wait. Like K said...see if the person that messaged you can call too. Print the message from this person so CPS knows that you have reason to believe this.

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~ Wink

Pantera's picture

Call the cops, CPS, make copies of these messages, have the unknown call CPS as well. Get a lawyer and go file for emergency custody immediately!!!

"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus

Christina Marie's picture

Always better safe than sorry, CPS all the way..they will check for everything, check into all the info you give them. If its BS, then you tell the BM your sorry for all the trouble, but you will protect the baby nomatter WHAT. If its true, you may have saved her from a worse fate and you'll be thanking your lucky stars you did. You can also remain annonymous, but in having contacted the MIL they will prolly guess.

~Chrissie

Loving Wife to David, Mother and friend to Dannie, Lizzie, Stephie and Willie