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really twisted priorities

SugarSpice's picture

one of my sds really has some messed up priorities.

she cant overlook minor disagreements with me but she has a very friendly relationship with her ex step father. this is the man who cheated on her mother during her second fact, bm cheated with this man while still married to dh.

when sd visits ex sf he stays in his apartment and uses his car.

very strange.

SugarSpice's picture

this would not surprise me. sd has absolutely no sense at all. she has slept with at least two supervisors. when she was fired from one job she ended up moving in with a former boss. she dropped out of college to be his live in maid cook and girl friend.

Aniki's picture

Oh, ew! :jawdrop:

SugarSpice's picture

yes it is very disturbing! she liked to brag about how men she had been with and wore it like some sort of a badge. it got to be where there were too many men in her social circle were those she had been intimate.

then she went to a gathering with her newest boy friend only to learn there were several men there that she had slept with. she was angry and upset. what do you expect when you allow your self to be passed around like a cheap bottle of beer?

BethAnne's picture

Perhaps their personalities match up better than yours does with her? Just because you don't cheat does not mean that you will get on better with her.

ldvilen's picture

True--"Just because you don't cheat does not mean that you will get on better with her." However, wouldn't you think that her former step father banging another woman behind her mother's back would, perhaps, count for something on the negative side? Former step father had a role in the ending of her bio-parent's marriage and BM's second marriage, come to think of it.

After all, isn't that what SMs are always told--SKs can and are gonna treat you like sloppy seconds, even as adults, because they are so loyal to their mother? Guess this blows that theory, as if there was much truth to it anyway. There is something else going on here. First of all, I'm sure BM, while she was still married to her second husband, went out of her way to promote him as "real" dad, possibly going so far as to share family rings and SF exchanging vows with the kids as well as BM at BMs and SF's wedding. Or something similar. Poisoning the well goes far with children, who tend to lack an awareness that this even occurred as adults.

So, SD grows up thinking bio-dad and his wife are in the tank, losers. Next, SD starts becoming a teen and competing with her own BM, and, yes, that may include for SF's affections. Not saying anything too over the top is going on yet. Then, SF cheats on BM, and SD thinks that is okay, because she thinks she is better than her mom now anyways, and she thinks the world of her SF even tho. him and BM are now divorced, because way back when that is how BM billed it--SF is the "real" dad, he's done more for you than your dud bio-dad, and so on. Karma.

So, what kind of relationship does SD and her former SF have now? It's all speculation. Is it completely innocent, or are former SF and former SD now out shopping for their own rings? Who knows?

SugarSpice's picture

one of the skids cut off x sf when it came to light sf cheated on bm. that is the way loyalties should be.

how can any child be friends with the person who cheated on their mother? some lines should not be crossed and imo sd this this. i wonder what her mother thinks that sd is pals with the man who cheated on her.

BethAnne's picture

I view it very differently. I think that it is none of SD's business what happened in her mother's relationship and that she is entitled to maintain a relationship with this man if they both want even when her mother's relationship with him broke down. If he was brought into the family as a father figure then it does not matter if he cheated on her mom, he can still be that father figure.

advice.only2's picture

My SD is the same way, she hates my guts and let's everybody know it. But her ex SF (drug addict) whom she helped her meth mommy accuse of child molestation she refers to as dad and has a great relationship with.

Personally I think it speaks to SD's moral character of whom she chooses to value in her life, and it represents the type of person she is. So in other words no big loss...why be bothered by the lack of approval of less than savory characters.

SM12's picture

Some people are just not meant to be understood. I also feel that shady people prefer to surround themselves with other shady people. I makes them feel somewhat normal.

My XH is like this. He and I co-parented amazingly until two years ago. He didn't pay his CS and the courts finally went after him. He had to pay a few large lump sums to stay out of jail. He begged me to give him the money back that he paid. I told him that wasn't happening nor was it fair to ask of me. He had hated me since that time.

However, my DH is becoming besties with his first XW and BM to his DD. She was horrible and wretched to him and their DD. She had custody taken from her for both of her children and placed with their fathers. She took off and was out of my SD's life for 7 years and only came back long enough to convince SD to run away with her. This woman caused nothing but drama for all of us. XH swore he hated her guts and would forever. Now they are besties. All because SD got back in her life. He can forgive all of that yet he can't tolerate the sight of me because I kept money that was rightfully mine.

Yup...Shady people love to surround themselves with shady people

moving_on_again's picture

I was just getting ready to say that. I think SD likes hanging with BM again because she could get away with being less than unsavory around her. They act like a couple teenage mean girls. But behind BM's back, SD says cruel things about BM. Just like BM does about everyone else!

Livingoutloud's picture

My exSD was obsessed whth her mom's BF. She had his picture in her Bedroom and ste ranted about him all the time. He was drug addict and alcoholic and BM cheated on exSO with this guy. Yet exSD loved him. He was total nuts. ExSD barely even saw him but sge lived with us and I bent backwards for her yet she treated me like crap.