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Really BM???? Just give up already!

VENUS452's picture

So I got a text message from BM that made me go…..REALLY???

It’s not news to me that BM is an absolute idiot and space-case but the past few weeks have me really wondering why she even bothers.

First off she just registered SS5 for school LAST WEEK (school starts next week) She told DH that she registered him back in April (without speaking with or involving DH in the decision…but it was one of those “not worth the argument” situations because he was fine with the school choice) Then DH went to sign him up for the extended day program for the days he’s with us and the school said they had no record of him. DH was FURIOUS….Her excuse….she just had a baby and she’s planning a wedding. I had to laugh in disbelief. DH responded with ”Being busy is no excuse to lie to me about our sons future!! I could have done it myself!”

She’s also been having trouble with SS5’s behavior (he’s been hitting her, spitting in her face, and telling her he hates her) So we are currently a week into his two week stay with us and everything has been going great! Since he has been with us, she has called DH three times…you would think to talk to SS, check in to see how things are going, etc. NOPE two times about CS and the third time to complain about her friend blowing her off and to ask what time Open House for school was (mind you she signed him up because she refused to let DH do it so she could say he doesn’t help) How does she not know what time it is?…She didn’t even tell us about it, I just went onto the school website and found it myself because I don’t rely on BM for any information. W/e I’ll let that slide…she’s “busy” you know.

Yesterday was by far the BEST! First she asked me if I would be able to pick up her newest baby from daycare (which is NOT DH’s child) I respectfully lied and said I was busy…Thanks but no thanks. Then she texts me asking what size Shirts, Pants, and Shoes SS is in now……………………………………are you kidding me? The shoe thing I get. I just had SS’s feet measured for his new shoes myself, so that one is understandable…but shirts and pants…you are his MOTHER – you have physical custody – you claim to be the one that does everything – how do you not know this??? I understand he’s been wearing shorts all summer, but still. I’m not his mom, I’m just the “wicked Stepmother” and I know this…even DH knows what size SS wears and sometimes I question if he’s aware of his own size.

Now that she has a new baby and is marrying this one’s father, she seems very uninterested and un-involved in SS’s life. At this point I’m not even sure why she insists on having primary custody (besides her check of course). Even SS would prefer to live with us. UGH

hereiam's picture

Wait, she asked you if you could pick up her new baby from daycare? I would not even have lied, just laughed and hung up.

VENUS452's picture

In any other situation I would, but when we are unwilling to help BM she says horrible things about us to SS. He's only 5 and already seeing through a lot of that, but still not fair for him to have to experience. So we play nice as much as possible so that SS doesn't have to go through that crap.

AllySkoo's picture

I cannot BELIEVE she asked you to pick her baby up from daycare! What are you, her new BFF?!?

VENUS452's picture

It is the weirdest situation!!! BM has another child older than SS and that ones father and his wife are BFF's with BM and her current man. They watch each others children go on vacations together. It is so weird. When I first found out about that, when DH and I were just dating, I told him I would never be able to do that and he reassured me that he had no intention of becoming part of that weird circle. They even asked us to join them on a date night a few weeks ago!!! DH doesn't even respond to those texts. He says he should never have to explain why he doesn't want to participate. If it's not an SS focused activity, there will be no group gatherings.

AllySkoo's picture

Lol I have to say I have NO IDEA what size DH or the skids are! I don't check size labels when doing laundry. Wink

That said, I DO know what size my bios wear, since I'm the one who buys clothes for them.

HungryEyes's picture

BM asked me to babysit her 'other' kid once. And DH actually came to me and asked with her on the phone... I said 'That's F*cking weird, DH. No way.' And I know she heard over the phone. Good.

Boundaries. She needs some.

Orange County Ca's picture

Why are you talking/texting her at all. Let your husband deal with her. If necessary block her phone - your provider can help if necessary.