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Ready to strangle SS need to vent!

Amandaleah87's picture

Unfortunately this is the year that we have SS for Christmas break. I’ve already started drinking. SS gets hundreds of gifts from DH so one would think the little bastard could at least take a trip to the store to pick out a card for DH. Every year it’s the same fight. A month before Christmas I try and get SS to help pick out a gift online for DH since he refuses to go shopping with me. It’s a yearly fight that I lose as the brat refuses to sit down with me. I end up just picking something out for DH from SS. It was a fight to get him into the store to pick out a card for DH and he refused to pick one out and I had to pick two cards for him to pick from as he was to lazy to look at all the cards. Now Comes to wrapping the presents I got for him to give DH. Yep again refuses to help wrap. I asked him to just write his  name on the card and yep the little shit refused. I will be chasing him down Xmas eve to sigh his name. Xmas break has not even started and I’m ready to strangle the brat! Why do I do it? I do it for DH. If I had any say the brat would not get one gift for how he behaves. Does anyone else have this trouble getting SK’s to help pick out gifts, wrap or even just signing their name to the gift?? Thanks for letting me vent and I’m going to go finish my wine!

Rags's picture

Why  pull this toxic POS kid’s nads out of the fire year after year?  Let him explain to his heartbroken father that he doesn’t give a shit.

Covering for toxicity only perpetuates toxicity.

shamds's picture

Honestly i would buy my own present for hubby and on xmas day give it to him in front of his kid and say “oh by the way if you’re at all wondering where your present from ss is, he refused to go shopping with me or online to pick something, refused to pick out a xmas card, refused to write your name, i guess you’re not important to him or worth much to make that effort”, suddenly a shock look comes from ss and hubby... i’m real nasty like that and some people do need to be put in their place

grace8205's picture

If after all that effort you put in to help skid get his dad a gift and he refused, I would not do it for him. My would let my DH see what an ass his kid is. 

The last 2 years DH was bought a Christmas gift for me from skid who is an adult. I told after last Christmas not to do it again because it is awkward and phony for me to thank skid24 for a gift that he had no part of. I wonder if he remembered this year. If I see it under the tree I will dispose of it.

tog redux's picture

Why are you doing all this?  I used to help SS get gifts for DH (and BM, too), but only because he was a willing participant.  I had to ask, but he'd go along with it and help me find something. As he got older and more PAS'd, I decided it wasn't really my job, so instead of asking him to do it, I just told him I was willing to help if he wanted, and left it up to him to ask me. Sometimes he did, sometimes he didn't.

Stop doing this for SS, it's not your responsibility, especially if he has no interest. I know you are trying to keep DH from feeling hurt, but his relationship with SS is between the two of them. That was a tough lesson for me to learn - I can't protect DH from the truth of who his son is - it's controlling and not my place. And impossible.

susanm's picture

This is his kid.  He created and raised him.  If he doesn't know who he actually is at this point then there is nothing you can do about it.  Pretending for him is pointless.  I get the impulse.  I did the same thing for years with OSD.  Her father treated her like a princess to the detriment of everyone else while she treated him like dirt beneath her shoes.  I wanted to spare him some pain but I shouldn't have because it was his own doing.  And sadly she grew to treat everyone in her life the same way.  After all, that was how she was taught to behave.  Now it has dawned on him just how much of a cold b*tch she really is and her gravy train is ending.  To say that her wrath is getting ugly is an understatement. 

My suggestion would be to let him see the issue with his son when he is still young enough to potentially do something about it.  Some entitled kids can be woken up to the fact that they are not the center of the universe and they will not continue to get unless they give a little.  It may be possible and it may not but it is worth a try. If so it will benefit both of them in the long run.