Raising children in the same house under different rulesets.
Quick overview for the TLDR; on my personal situation.
Married a year and a half. 1 SK- 6. My wife, and our daughter.
Wife is overly permissive to SK. Child can run and scream all day. Never eats dinner, watches youtube 24/7 (until the AM hours, you'll hear it in her bedroom.) I try to correct the behaviors, and my wife stops me. (She says if we become the house of too many rules, her daughter will want to move in with her father.) Whatever, she's delusional. Agrees with me that her daughter is a little s**t, and it's her fault. Irritates the heck out of me.
This brings us to OUR daughter. Recent, I've upfront said that my daughter will not be sprinting and screaming, will not be on devices unless she's under my direct supervision, and will sit her behind down and eat dinner with us as a family. I said that our daughter is going to live by a set of rules that is going to make her be a decent person. My wife replies with "you have to let kids be kids". She thinks that enabling a 6 year old to do as she pleases is allowing kids to be kids. I asked her if she agreed that a child that isn't insane, and is well balanced is a good idea. She said yes, and told me "you do you" with how I work discipline and raising with our daughter.
Now don't get me wrong, while I am prior Marine Corps, I'm a teacher now, and a pretty big teddy bear. I don't want to run a military unit in my household, but damn, kids can be trained to be decent individuals, at least outwardly.
Now the question, right? Has anyone raised their own children different than stepchildren successfully?