Quick! Response needed please

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Quick! I need an honest response for "Do you mind if I have the kids over this weekend?"

The truth is that I do mind because they are disrespectful, lying, spying turds. My OH allows them to be this way. But he hasn't seen them in a while so I expected this.

I don't want to lie and say that I don't mind and I don't want to say no and be the evil stepmom either. Help?

Hahahaha, "regular" and

Hahahaha, "regular" and "court ordered". The kids show up when their mother needs a babysitter. Nothing is regular. When she had a boyfriend it was every weekend. Lately its been once/month. She does whatever the f she wants.

If I say no they probably

If I say no they probably won't come. And all hell will break loose because I'm keeping him from his kids.

Clearly I don't. That's why

Clearly I don't. That's why I'm not saying no.

So answer every honestly. You

So answer every honestly. You don't enjoy their visits because _________. If he could work on getting his children under control they would be welcomed much more often.

If they come, perhaps you can get out a bit on your own and enjoy your afternoon/evening with a friend that is more enjoyable to be around. In the event they do come, make it clear what your expectations of parenting you want to be on exhibit. No one needs nor wants a miserable weekend.

^I like this, minus the

^I like this, minus the getting out on my own. I have a 5 month old and there's no way I trust the skids around him.

Answer: Is BM going to give

Answer:

Is BM going to give back part of the CS since we will be having them on her time?

I think he is being nice to

I think he is being nice to ask you and I agree that it isn't a good idea to keep kids from their parents, especially if he has not seen them in a while. Just say, sounds good, but I'll be in/out doing xyz.....and then be out/about and make some plans with friends etc.
So tough b/c I know it is hard, but I think he wants to see his kids and if he hasn't in a while he should. Doesn't sound like they are with you that often...

^I have so many times. He

^I have so many times. He doesn't want to go back to court and the BM won't follow it at all.

i would say "its fine, but

i would say "its fine, but you need to plan activities for them and keep them out of the house as much as possible as i had XYZ planned"

cant stand it when my SD is over and all she does is flop on my couch and text her mother all day.

lmfao! You have no idea how

lmfao! You have no idea how badly I want to copy and paste this into an email to him. Perfectly said.

Answer: "I dunno."

Answer:

"I dunno."

is there any chance he doesnt

is there any chance he doesnt want to see or deal wtih them either and he's trying to use you as the scapegoat?

i swear my fiance does that...

YES!!!

Used a lot of the advice

Used a lot of the advice here. I went with:

"I dunno. I was going to try to get a bunch of stuff around the house done Saturday and have an actual relaxing weekend day Sunday. Its fine but you need to keep them busy out of the house as much as possible."

So not looking forward to this.

ill be thinking of you. my

ill be thinking of you.

my SD14 is due tomorrow. i asked my fiance what the plan is. he said "who the F knows" which means she's already begging off - or he is.

What did he say back?

"ok, I can do that" :/

"ok, I can do that"

:/ Another day alone with the baby. Hurray!

If he is looking after them

If he is looking after them for the weekend it's fine. The kids have the right to see their father even if it is periodically.
They are coming to visit him, so he needs to take care of them.

If not, no visit. You may dislike his kids, but they are his and have a right to visit with him.

"You may dislike his kids,

"You may dislike his kids, but they are his and have a right to visit with him."

Does this mean they should be allowed to come over at a moments notice whenever they please? I think not.

If by take care of them you mean provide for basic life needs than yes, he started doing that this past year after I disengaged. If you mean holding them responsible for their actions and words, making sure they keep their thieving hands off my stuff or cleaning up after them than no, he does not take care of them.

How do you suggest I handle that? He has "a right to visit" but no obligation to respect me or my home it seems.

Is there a way to compromise

Is there a way to compromise and just have them over Saturday night so you at least get tonight to yourself?

Either he does exactly what

Either he does exactly what the BM wants regarding pick up/drop off time and location or there is no visit.

He can see his kid...you will

He can see his kid...you will be out of town.

You already have plan. Go out of town and have a relax weekend or go hide at your parents house. Let him take care of his children and call a maid to come to clean the house n charge to his cc

This sounds lovely. However,

This sounds lovely. However, I have a 5 month old and no family other than my OH and his 2 bratty kids. We are barely making pay check to pay check and have been eating away at my savings to pay medical bills.

Why should she have to go out

Why should she have to go out of town because his kids are brats?

Yes. Its a lot of work to

Yes. Its a lot of work to pack and travel alone with an infant.

"If you step up as a father

"If you step up as a father and a man and enforce basic behavioral standards regarding their historic disrespectful behavior, lying, and spying, then I don't mind."

See how he likes that answer. }:)

^ Love it!!! I'm gonna use

^ Love it!!! I'm gonna use this.

extra post

usually non custodial fathers

usually non custodial fathers have no balls when it comes to visitation and their ex wives. all you can do is protect yourself.

Well put. I have to protect

Well put. I have to protect myself and my child.

Gah!!!! We have an entitled

Gah!!!! We have an entitled SS16 FT 24/7 365 days a year

BM has a free and easy life with her BF and even contests paying CS so it gets tied up in disputes ( so she dosent pay). I don't understand the system here in australia... What ever a BM says, it is believed and yet we are the ones who has SS16 FT??

Jinger_VZ "You may dislike

Jinger_VZ "You may dislike his kids, but they are his and have a right to visit with him."

My DH loves his son. He and his son have a right to visit with each other. But DH has NO right to inflict the bastard on me. I put no restrictions on DH seeing SS - except he is not to bring him to MY home nor to spend any of MY money at that piece of shit.

My DH made a terrible, terrible mistake, one where he was stupid as shit - he slept with his ex wife years after their divorce. I did not know him then. He and BM were both single. And the result was the worthless disgusting SS. Biggest mistake ever made.

But that was not MY mistake, and I refuse to pay for it.