Question for those who left StepHell
As you know me and ExBF broke up just when the lock down started (around 7weeks) and I started talking to my friends that now already know that I´m single again.
A friend of mine that I think he always had a crush on me and before I wasn´t thinking to meet as a possible romantic interest is now telling me we have to do something when the quarantine ends.....and now I definetly will look at him as a possible romantic interest because he had always been amazing and has NO KIDS (something I wasnt even aware it was so great lol)
However I still very resentfull and traumatised with my stepmother experience......I call friends and the conversation ends with me complaining and sometimes almost crying talking about episodes and stuff....I think it´s because I still believe that I wasn´t a good person and an awfull human being for not liking a little child and all the lifestyle...
So basicly I don´t want to meet up a nice guy without kids and vomit all this drama and suffering that is always in my head and almost hate that I have now for children and divorced parents! And I was never never like this.....
My question for you: Is feeling this normal? I dont recognise myself. When were you ready to date again? When will I know it´s time to date again?
^^This^^
.
It’s good to acknowledge your
It’s good to acknowledge your feelings it means you won’t get ‘stuck’ and be worrying about this in 3 to 5 years. By then it will all be a distant memory.
If you feel it overwhelming you, acknowledge it and put aside times of the week to dwell on it, but also do plenty of other stuff.
What I have started asking myself in the past year is “would many other people put up with that” and if my answer is a no, then I no longer feel the need to agonize over stuff.
It streamlines my thought process a bit.
Thank you all so much....
Thank you all so much.....really....Somedays are good others worst...but when I´m down I just have to come here and get your support
Thank you so much
Take the time to grieve and
Take the time to grieve and heal, see a therapist, and if this guy is the one for you he will be there with you as you navigate the process. Being in a good place for you is also being in a good place for him and being in a good place together.
Working with a therapist should minimize the risk of dumping your hurt and baggage onto the early stages of a new relationship. Better to vent and bluster with the therapist than the new man.