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Question regarding BM using out of network Provider

Kathywalker11's picture

I thought I read something like this on here before but can’t find it now so asking my Current Situation. 

BM has full legal Custody of twin SD’s age 11. DH is Required per the Divorce agreement to Split all uncovered medical and dental bills 50/50 with BM. The twins are covered under BM’s Health/dental Insurance.  The problem is BM refuses to use a in network dentist for the twins so the dental insurance pays only about 20% of the bill. Now if these kids had “normal” teeth it may not be a big deal but since they seem to get Cavities every other mouth the dental bills have been in the Hundreds of dollars for just one Appointment. The kids do a Crappy job brushing their teeth but that’s another story for another time. 

DH Briefly brought this up last time in court and the judge said since BM has full Custody and decision making she can decide where the kids go to the dentist. To me this just does not make sense. BM gets Education decisions too so does that mean if she wants to send the kids to a private school at $12,000 a year DH has to pay also??? DH never really got to explain to the judge HOW expensive it is using a out of network dentist is. It’s not not a few cleanings a year. 

For whatever reason BM is Digging her heels in and not going to budge willingly on this issue how do you think DH should handle this?

2nd wives club's picture

Reimburse her for the cost of what the dental procedure is with an in-network provider, attach a copy of the estimate and put a circle around that cost. Maybe she'll get it then.

simifan's picture

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but he'll lose this fight if it has to go to court. By all means, I would try just giving her the in network costs. But honestly, it's not something the courts will enforce. ExDH had legal custody and in fact primary physical custody but still wound up paying his share for any medical bills BM incurred, even redundant medical bills because BM didn't bother to ask if skid had seen the dentist or had a physical.

Kathywalker11's picture

They don’t need to Reinforce it they just need to NOT support BM and Mandate DH to pay the hundreds of dollars it’s costing to use this out of network dentist. Guess after this last $300 dentist bill DH is just going to tell BM she needs to find and use a in network dentist or he’s not going to pay anymore. BM will flip out scream Swear threaten to drag DH back to court... maybe she will maybe she won’t more than likely she will. Either way DH has nothing to lose as he won’t use an attorney and the worst the judge can say is no

Rags's picture

Worth the fight but success is highly unlikely IMHO.

The NCP in our blended family adventure refused to pay his share of Skid medical expenses and SpermGrandHag engaged "emergency" medical care and named me as the responsible party then the SpermClan refused to pay their half of the copay and portions of the treatments not covered by insurance.

The family courts have no balls to deal with enforcing their rulings and refused to smack the SpermClan around for their violations of the CO to pay their share.  The idiot in the stupid Harry Potter robes slinging the Fisher-Price wooden hammer around told us to take them to small claims court. smh

So, we total up their outstanding balance, apply penalties and interest from the IRS penalty tables and send them a bill twice a year.   When the spirit moves us, we may just drag them to court.  Just for the entertainment value.

Kathywalker11's picture

BM is the one who takes the step kids to the dentist so she is the one who pays the bills and collects the  uncovered expenses from DH. This being said BM is the one who would have to drag DH to court to get Reimbursed NOT DH. 

So this being said DH sent her a email saying starting January 1 2020 she will have to find a in net work dentist or he will not be splitting uncovered bills anymore with her. If she does not then DH will not pay her when BM sends him a bill. DH was just worried support court would come down on him like the hand of god for refusing to pay

Rags's picture

IMHO it depends on the Judge.... if..... BM takes him to court.   If the Judge you get us like the one we had they may not address it at all and refer BM to small claims court.

DH may want to just pay BM half of the in network copay rather than not pay at all.  This shows responsibility and may put the out of network choice made by BM on her shoulders.

Document, document, document..... so that if BM does take DH to court in an attempt to collect half of the out of network fees he can show he paid half of the network fees.

Good luck.

tog redux's picture

Yep.  DH refused to pay a bill for SS that was much more expensive because she used an out of network provider. She took it to court and they made him pay it because the order said he had to pay X amount and the bill existed, so he had to pay.

She has used in-network providers since then though. And he went to court Pro Se, so it wasn't a loss for him financially.