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Question regarding birthdays, phones and other things

Joanlynn's picture

Have a few random questions for people and would like Opinions.

1. In your opinion what is the biggest birthday(16,18 or 21) for a child and how as parents would you Celebrate it? 

2. What age do kids Typically get cell phones and what do they Usually get as first time phones? Text/talk only,   Basic flip phones, smartphones??

3. What age is Reasonable to purchase a laptop for a child? 

I’m basing these questions on a middle class family Income. 

Cbarton12's picture

I'd say 16 or 18 might be the biggest. 16 because generally that's when kids start driving and getting jobs. Not sure yet how I would celebrate it. 

For us, we will probably get SD a cell phone when she is 11 or 12 because she will start to enter middle school and may occasionally walk home and will start spending minimal time home alone. Plus it will be a nice way for her to keep in touch with everyone including BM and extended family. I'll be ok if DH gets her a smartphone but with lots of parental locks and oversight. 

A laptop for a child? Maybe when they are entering high school because they'll probably be expected more often to do research and write papers. But again laptop usage I would say would require parental locks and parental oversight. 

Myss.Tique D'Off's picture

1. We generally have large birthday parties at 18 and 21 (UK).

2. My son normally gets my old smartphone when  I upgrade - he is 14. (And yes, he has restrictions on the phone, as well as it's usage. School does not allow phone usage during school hours either, but they can carry it to school for use before / after or during intervals.)

3. What is the use for the laptop?  At my son's school they used tablets since primary/elementary school and he has iMac at home for school usage. (Just easier for me to keep everything Apple as it helps with downloading upgrades and support / servicing. This may be something you need to consider - keeping everything one manufacturer makes life easier with school aged kids. At least it does for me with two boys of school / university age - 14 and 18. )

ESMOD's picture

Have a few random questions for people and would like Opinions.

1. In your opinion what is the biggest birthday(16,18 or 21) for a child and how as parents would you Celebrate it?   I guess this depends a bit.  From the parent's or kid's point of view.. and even then further.. how much "fuss" is made from it all.  I think the last BD where the parents may be more involved in planning and making a big deal about a birthday is 16.  18 is a significant day because this is theoretically when a child becomes an "adult" and should be launched either career.. or school.  Can be complicated a bit by age of HS graduation though.  21?  That is a kid's thing.. the biggest thing they get out of that is buying liquor legally (in the US).  The kids are much more likely to be out with friends.. parents may do a small dinner or what not.. but generally are not as involved.

2. What age do kids Typically get cell phones and what do they Usually get as first time phones? Text/talk only,   Basic flip phones, smartphones??  This is something that tends to be much more "in the moment" vs what did we do "back then".. when we were growing up.. even a few years ago.  When I was growing up, payphones and land lines in every home were standard.  Cell phones didn't even exist.  But, now, smartphones are almost easier to come by than more simple phones.  They can be used for all sorts of good.. and bad things.  A lot of this depends on the relative maturity/responsibility of the child.  Some kids under 10 may have more of a need to have access to a phone.. and may be with it enough to keep up with it.  Some 12 yo's.. would lose one a week.  I don't think a kid under age 8 should need a phone.. they shouldn't be away unsupervised from adults that much.  Beyond that.. I would say that by Jr high.. most kids should be able to have a basic phone.. in HS.. probably a smart phone.. of course limits.. parental access to logins etc..

3. What age is Reasonable to purchase a laptop for a child? Laptops can be purchased so inexpensively.... I think it's going to be based on the child's planned use.  the kid's responsibility.. but certainly by 11/12 most kids could probably handle it.  again.. parental controls as appropriate.

I’m basing these questions on a middle class family Income. 

lieutenant_dad's picture

1. In your opinion what is the biggest birthday(16,18 or 21) for a child and how as parents would you Celebrate it? 

I'd say 18 since it is the transition into adulthood. 16 is only big if the kid can start driving, and 21 is for drinking/gambling in the US. 18 is pretty universally "you're an adult!" For my 18th, my parents let me throw a party at home with friends, which included cakes and pizza/chips and dip, etc.  My gifts consisted of gas cards, luggage, other gift cards, etc. For OSS, we'll likely do something similar.

2. What age do kids Typically get cell phones and what do they Usually get as first time phones? Text/talk only,   Basic flip phones, smartphones??

12 or 13 for a flip phone - basically when they are able to stay home by themselves and need a way to contact the outside world should an emergency happen. I'd say 15-16 for a basic smart phone. If they want a fancy smart phone, they can pay for it.

3. What age is Reasonable to purchase a laptop for a child? 

I think this is dependent on the child and their reason for needing one. I'd say at 10-13 would be a good time for a cheap one. If a kid is going off to college, and the funds are available, I think a better laptop would be appropriate. 

Ultimately, a parent should never spend more than they can afford. Kids don't *need* smart phones, but I do think they need a way of contacting their parent(s) if they are home alone, which could be a landline. Kids don't *need* a laptop to themselves, but they will likely need access to one for school. That can be remedied through a family computer or visits to the library (and most schools around here provide laptops, on loan, to students for schoolwork). 

sunshinex's picture

I come from a middle-upper class home and now have the same financial standing I did growing up. Here's my thoughts. 

Have a few random questions for people and would like Opinions.

1. In your opinion what is the biggest birthday(16,18 or 21) for a child and how as parents would you Celebrate it? 

16 because past that, birthdays are more about friends (going to the bars and such). I wouldn't celebrate too big but have a party/sleepover or something. Nothing much bigger than the rest, except maybe make it a bit more special with a keepsake gift too. 

2. What age do kids Typically get cell phones and what do they Usually get as first time phones? Text/talk only,   Basic flip phones, smartphones??

I got my first cellphone at 14 years old. We didn't have smartphones then (ridiculous, I'm only in my mid-twenties!) so it was a basic flip phone with talk/text only. My kids will get their first cellphone around the same age. It may be a smartphone, but it'll be a basic one and they will pay half their bill each month. 

3. What age is Reasonable to purchase a laptop for a child? 

Never. I didn't have a laptop purchased for me despite my parents being able to afford it. I think it's great to have a family computer and cellphones. If they feel they need a laptop, they can get a part-time job and I will split the cost if I'm feeling nice lol. 

I’m basing these questions on a middle class family Income. 

strugglingbutstrong_'s picture

1. In your opinion what is the biggest birthday(16,18 or 21) for a child and how as parents would you Celebrate it? 

I would say 16, simply because this is the real start of a child's independence. My parents got my sister and I both wonderful vehicles at this age. I intend to do the same thing for my SS and future children. My DH's family was not as generous, and he had to buy his own car. We are on the same page in buying our children vehicles because he rememebers how stressed he was trying to save enough to by a car. His first car did not last him long before it quit on him. He is on his fourth vehicle (finally a new one) and I am still driving my 2002 Jeep my parents gave me in high school. I want our children to be in safe, dependable vehicles, not just ones they could afford. I save money every week for this. I have money saved up for ss and for any unborn children we might have. Start now and stress less later! Smile

 

2. What age do kids Typically get cell phones and what do they Usually get as first time phones? Text/talk only,   Basic flip phones, smartphones??

I got a phone when I turned 14, which was when I got my first job. Then, it only called and texted. Today, it is almost as much to get a basic phone as it is an older smart phone. I am unsure about smart phones and social media for young children. I think it depends on your child and how much you trust them to make the right desicions with those privleges.

 

3. What age is Reasonable to purchase a laptop for a child? 

A lot of schools now a days are providing laptops or tablets for kids that they can use at home as well. If your child's school does not provide these things, I think middle school is appropriate with the right restrictions. A lot of homework is completed online these days, but I would allow my children to use my compluter or tablet until they reached a certail age where projects and assignments require more of their time. They also start group projects around this time, so having one of their own makes it easier to go to group members' houses or the library to work together! 

All just my opinon of course! Every family has their own grove to find!

Thumper's picture

 

Age 18

2. Cell phone???

When they can work to pay for a cell phone. Same thing for cars.

 In the mean time they use the land line. YUP we still have one. Cells for work.

3. Lap top...Kids dont NEED a lap top. If they must use one they use the family one. Its AMAZING how much they dont use ours.....hmmmmm

 

 

fourbrats's picture

in terms of cell phones and laptops. The kids needed laptops for their school program so youngest DD had one at 10. It turns out none of us share technology well lol so everyone has had their own for years. Cell phones we went straight to a Smartphone with restrictions at 11 for each of the kids. Middle school starts at 11 here (6th grade) and that was when the kids were away from a parent more often and I feel better being able to reach them at any time. That is also one of our "free range" rules...they have age appropriate freedoms as long as they answer calls and texts when a parent is trying to get you on the line. 

Every birthday is a big deal in my family so every birthday was made into a big deal lol. I have a huge family and we do everything big. I am excited for my oldest daughter to turn 21 this year though because there are a few things she and I want to do where she needs to be 21 (mostly a dance party cruise with 80s music). 

--figureditout--'s picture

1. In your opinion what is the biggest birthday(16,18 or 21) for a child and how as parents would you Celebrate it? My boys are 14 and 16. They don't really get excited about birthdays.  18 will probably be pretty important since it signifies the age of majority. Even with SD it wasn't a big deal.

2. What age do kids Typically get cell phones and what do they Usually get as first time phones? Text/talk only,   Basic flip phones, smartphones?? SD got her first phone at 16 started with a flip phone until her nasty boyfriend upgraded her.  She was internet stoopit, sending inappropriate information to adult males and we did not want her to have a smartphone.  My boys got smartphones at 12 and 9.  I was working full time and DH had a ton of VA appointments in Pensacola, so we wanted them to be able to get a hold of us when they needed us.  OBS was in middle school on a school bus and YBS was still in elementary.

3. What age is Reasonable to purchase a laptop for a child? Both boys got laptops around 12.  OBS' laptop died and he preferred a desktop.  SD had a laptop that was kept on the bar due to major internet stupidity.

shamds's picture

1. We celebrate birthdays just a small intimate thing and maybe invite my inlaws over as i live overseas. Skids it might be a slice of cake at a restaurant, hubby won’t make me cater a party for skids as they’re just arseholes.

2. Ssbgot phone when dad was at work after the divorce so he could communicate easily and make sure he got home safely etc. He was about 12, sd’s got it a few yrs later, ss got handme downs unless he saved up allowance to buy one

3. Ss got a laptop when he went to college, hubby bought him a basic acer one... 

Swim_Mom's picture

It was not optional. Both DD (just finished sophomore year, entering junior year) and DS (just graduated HS) are attending a Big Ten midwest Engineering program. Of course ex-husband can't afford so guess who bought both macs for graduation. DH also got SD (also just finished sophomore year, also Engineering major at another university) an Apple laptop for her graduation.And I had to buy DD, who will be a HS freshman, an ipad too! The one thing pos worthless ex-H pays for are phones which my kids got starting in 5th grade as that is the start of middle school in our district.

RogueSM's picture

1. In your opinion what is the biggest birthday(16,18 or 21) for a child and how as parents would you Celebrate it? 

I would say 16  since they can get their permit and start learning how to drive.  

2. What age do kids Typically get cell phones and what do they Usually get as first time phones? Text/talk only,   Basic flip phones, smartphones??

my SD got her cell phone wehn she started middle school because she had to start traveling by the bus more and walking home.  Her BM purchased it so my DH and msyelf were not involved in it but did agree with her having it.

3. What age is Reasonable to purchase a laptop for a child? 

I would say 18 or the start of college would be a good time for one, but it all depends on the school system the kids are currenlty in.  When SD started high school we purchased an ipad for her since all the school work/homework is done online now.  We did consider a laptop but figured the weight of it was too much for her to carry everyday, the ipad is smaller and lighter to carry on a daily basis.  

Rags's picture

1. In your opinion what is the biggest birthday(16,18 or 21) for a child and how as parents would you Celebrate it? 

It depends.  They are all milestone birthdays for young adult children.  But... none of them are special or more important than the others if the kid is not a performer who behaves in accordance with the standards of behavior expected.  16 is notable because at that age the kid can drive. If the kid has no interest in driving.... then there is nothing special about 16.  18 is notable because it frequently aligns with reaching "adulthood" though about the only thing special about it is that the kid can vote.  I would call it a "bigger" birthday than 16.   21 is when the kid actually reaches the age when they have all of the rights of adulthood. They can vote, drink, etc.....  So, my vote is 21 is the "biggest" birthday of the three given.

2. What age do kids Typically get cell phones and what do they Usually get as first time phones? Text/talk only,   Basic flip phones, smartphones??

Kids get a phone when the parent says they do.  For us it was when we got sick of having to hunt him down after school and sports practices, etc......  SS's first phone was a stick phone.  A Nokia entry level phone. He had that for a few years before we upgraded it to one with a QWERTY keyboard.  That was the last phone we bought for him.  After that he got our hand-me-downs.  If he wanted a SMART phone. HE could pay for it himself.

We gave him his first phone when he was in 8th grade.

3. What age is Reasonable to purchase a laptop for a child? 

That depends on the kid.  If the kid is responsible, can use it in a mature manner and not have it consume the kid's life with social media and gaming then whenever parents decide it is the reasonable age is the reasonable age.  If not... then Never is the appropriate time to give them a laptop.  Those kids can buy one for themselves when they move out.

edwardcd's picture

Not saying my kid has to know how to code but the earlier they are exposed to and proficient with technology the better, otherwise they will all behind.

Got my daughter a cell phone at 13 but she has had wireless headphones since she was 7, and a laptop at age 9.

Heres some $20 headpones and kid friendly laptops

http://thesoundspecs.com/review-senso-activbuds-s-250-bluetooth-waterpro...

https://www.amazon.com/slp/laptop-kids/74smyk8nojyb57g