Question Regarding bill BM sent DH. Need advice
BM who has full Legal Custody of 13 yr old Daughter sent DH a dental bill for almost $500. Now according to the divorce agreement both BM and DH are to Split equally medical and dental expenses not covered by insurance. So DH part should be about $245. So far things seem ok right?? Well.....
This “dental bill” was NOT for normal dental work like Filling cavities/cleanings. It was for Whitening SD’s two front teeth that had some Discoloration. Guess the dentist Filed down SD’s teeth then filled them in with white “Composite” fillings to make the teeth whiter. DH DID NOT hear any of this from BM either before or after only got a bill. SD is the one who told us all the details.
My question is....yes BM has full Custody which grants her the right to make medical decisions and The divorce agreement says DH has to split Uncovered dental BUT I don’t Consider this medically necessary. I view this as cosmetic. What is everyone’s take on this? I think he should go tell her to go jump in the lake before he pays for this. But then again I don’t want him getting into trouble for not following a court order.
FYI BM is NOT the Type you can reason with either.
If she takes it to court, she
If she takes it to court, she will likely win. He should just pay it. $245 isn't worth a court battle over.
My DH refused to pay a bill that he thought should have been covered (she didn't go to a place in network) and he was ordered to pay because basically, the bill existed so he had to help pay it
Not worth the stress and drama for such a small amount of money.
It's not worth the fight, in all likelihood
Unreasonable BMs seem to find professionals who will stipulate that things are medically necessary, even if they really aren't. In this case, inevitably, it would be a therapist saying that skid was having self-esteem issues, or something.
Pay it and let it go...
While it's not "medically
While it's not "medically necessary", would you want your child to have to deal with the stigma of discolored front teeth?
I think your dh should pay his half, but ask that bm give him a heads up on extras like that so he is able to budget for them (and therefore reimburse her in a more timely manner).
I would not pay it on
I would not pay it on principle. BM should have sought your DH's agreement to pay, or share the cost, before embarking on cosmetic work which was not medically necessary. Is BM going to start sending DH bills for things like breast enhancement for her daughter in a few years time?
I agree, because:
I agree, because:
a) it was an appt initially made for a cosmetic procedure, and...
b) “$250 isn’t all that much of an expense” actually IS for some people.
Perhaps DH should consider
Perhaps DH should consider seeking 50/50 for legal, this way in future she will have to consult him before making decisions like this.
Or she still won't consult
Or she still won't consult with him and the court will still make him pay.
I would not go to court for 250, BUT
would suggest to DH that he try to establish boundaries/ground rules regarding medically necessary versus cosmetic. This is a subjective call, Where I live, courts will also look at the parents income in determining what is reasonable. I doubt a court will change the legal custody for something of this magnitude.
Kids
Have not figured out quite how this works.
However, I am beyond myself. Sick of kids and sick of not being able to speak my mind in my what was once my home .
My husband sticks up for them
Not sure if this matters but think I should have mentioned
The “dentist” BM uses DOES NOT take her Insurance. DH has tired to get her to change to a dentist who does take BM’s Insurance and she refuses stating the kids are “comfortable” with this dentist and she’s not changing. The REAL reason is the dentist is a old family friend of the grandmother and BM wants to throw Business their way but of course there’s no way to prove this in court.
This being said it’s really been MORE than $250 over the years as both kids have rotten teeth from being lazy and not brushing Equaling lots of cavities. If BM had used a dentist that Took her Insurance than most (70 percent) of that bill would have been covered.
In my DH's court order it
In my DH's court order it said that each party was ordered to use in network providers whenever possible or they are 100% responsible for the bills.
That *might* be worth going back to court for. Not $250 but all the rest that may come as a result of not using insurance.
Nope
If the procedure is not medically necessary I wouldn't pay it either. That's a large expense that should have been agreed upon prior to the procedure. It boils down to what the court order says about extra expenses. If it is stipulated as medically necessary expenses only, you should be in the clear.
READ court docs again about custody...
Wait...I am still stuck on BM having FULL LEGAL CUSTODY. and your dh has zero,,,as in ZERO input about medical, education, religion?
That my dear is SOLE custody which is very rare these days. are you absolutly sure in court docs it clearly states that MOM has sole custody?
Full physical means mom has residental custody (kid lives with mom and dad has visitation).
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Next, I would file a motion to re address medical matters. Although dad is not against TEETH Whiting (dont look like an ass if the kid really has ugly yellow teeth) but it is unreasonable for dad when mom refuses to use his insurance. Also court docts should have that bm pays first 1000 or so, out of pocket per year and dad will then split 50-50 cost share. Does she work if not are the kids on state medical too?
IF your bm has sole custody---it is time to re-address that too. WHY was that court ordered is my question.
jmo
Here’s the plan
Pay her $5 a week until it’s paid off. Who said you had to pay it all at once?
I would not pay it if I were
I would not pay it if I were your DH. BM's desires for cosmetically modifying the SKid is not what the CO is providing for.
Teeth whitening is not dental care. It is cosmetic and cosmetics are not stipulated in the CO.
If BM wants to take it to court... let her. The CO is on DH's side on this one. DH also needs to counter sue BM for court costs, lost wages, etc, .... if she takes him to court to pay for a cosmetic procedure, DH needs to go for the kill.
IMHO of course.