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Question about possible contempt charges

Unhappy's picture

Yesterday was FDH's legal custodial day with FSS due to it being his birthday which just happened to fall on crazy BM's week. It's stated in the custody order that FDH gets him all day.

FDH had to work yesterday but took off early in order to pick FSS up to spend more time with him. When he arrived at the daycare one of the attendants told him that BM had shown up to pick FSS up. Now this was done without FDH's knowledge or approval on his legal custodial day.

Now it's my understanding that neither parent can remove a child from the others care or daycare during their court assigned day(s) without the apporval of the custodial parent at the time.

FDH probably would of had no problem with it had she sent an email requesting the time with him. Infact she sent an email the night before asking FDH when he would be dropping FSS off but did not mention anywhere that she wanted to pick him up on FDH's custodial day and remove him from daycare.

Would this be considered grounds to file the paperwork for a show of cause hearing?

Ommy's picture

yep Smile

Unhappy's picture

Not to mention she still had FSS when FDH arrived to pick him up. FDH had to text her asking her to bring FSS back to the daycare and then he had to sit there for another 15 minutes waiting for her to show up.

Unhappy's picture

BM is upset that FDH will no longer be dropping the kids off at her house at the begining of her week at 6:30 am. He plans on doing what she does at the begining of his week where he takes FSS to school and I drop off FSD at school with my BD. Due to all of her carziness over the last two years he just doesn't want to see her anymore than he has to. Not to mention he has been late to work several times and one time last month when after he sat outside in the cold with both kids ringing the door bell repetedly for about five minutes she finally answered the door in nothing but a towel.

I think it's either one of two things. A) she feels like she can do whatever she wants and the rules don't apply to her. Dirol She was trying to be revengful towards FDH.

dragonfly5's picture

Yes, my SO has done it many, many times. Finally the judge told her he never wanted to see her again and they are not to do any changes to the schedule. NONE. Why do these crazy BM's think they can just do what ever they want when they want.

Good luck, he doesn't even need an attorney. MY SO just kept filing and showing up. The judge got sick of her after the 3rd time.

Good luck!

shielded2009's picture

Yup.

My DH is going to court on 2/13 for similar. BM took away DH's weekend that was after Thanksgiving, then flopped his weekends after the Christmas break.

She did the exact thing last year, and the judge just got in her ass over it, and gave DH make up days...I think after this time, coupled with the fact that she doesn't accept DH's certified letters (his only way to get his summer visitation is to send her a certified letter), and attacked him the last time they went to court (for her switching is visitation randomly), might not go over too well...

I'm not trying for the judge to give him more days or anything, I just want her to stop with the games...

Unhappy's picture

FDH sent her an email lastnight after the exchange of FSS state that she is in contempt of the custody order. He's just not sure if he's going to do anything about it. What do you guys think? What are the pros and cons of filing for a show of cause hearing in regards to contempt of the custody order?

shielded2009's picture

It depends on your judge, IMO.

My DH as an impatient, yet pretty fair judge. So whenever he sees DH and BM in his courtroom he starts off in a bad mood (they've been to court 17 times since 2007...DH has only taken her 2 times out of the 17). Because of BM taking him to court over stupid stuff, or stuff she's lied about, the judge has threatened to throw her in jail if she didn't follow the court order, so for my DH taking her to court over something like this is in his best interest. BM thinks she can do whatever she wants, and she thinks she can interpret the CO anyway she wants.

If you have anything like the aforementioned, it might be in his best interest.

DH tried the "just document" route, and it almost backfired on him. BM switched his dates, wouldn't show up at the CO'd drop off location, and he just documented. BM took him to court for those days saying DH was in contempt for not picking up SD and wanted his days revoked. The only thing that saved him was the fact that he documented, BUT the judge got onto him for not doing anything about all the days she caused him to miss. He literally told DH, "You 'just documented'? It sounds like you really don't want to see your daughter if you did nothing but 'just documented'." So this time, DH is being proactive and dealing with each occasion of her denying his visitation.

my.kids.mom's picture

Put this in perspective. Did he get his child for his birthday? Did they spend time together? Document it and move on. You never know how this will end up.

Almost a year ago, my bf's exw was denying overnight visits even though they had JUST gotten orders ironed out, etc. even though she did not agree with the limited case manager's decision that he should have overnight visits. So he filed on her. She responded with all kinds of false allegations. He has since had to go through ANOTHER limited case manager, had to get a psych eval, still has to go through a mediator, and STILL has not gotten in front of a judge. So make sure it is worth it before you start messing around with the courts.

PeanutandSons's picture

I say document and let it go. Yes your Dh was inconvienienced by 15 minutes, but it was his brithday and your Dh was at work till that point anyways.

I don't know your history with bm, or the relationship.... But I probaby would have made the offer to bm to have ss for the morning if I was just going to drop him at daycare anyways on his birthday.

As a bm, I'd be pretty peeved if I didn't have my son on his birthday, and dad just dropped him at daycare and went to work.

Unhappy's picture

FSS being at daycare on his birthday, which just happens to be FDH's custodial day does not give BM the right to violate the custody order. She had both FSS and FSD last year on their birthdays.

She is not legally allowed to take either of the kids without FDH's approval on his custodial time point blank. I am a BM as well and if it's not my time to spend with my BD I will not violate the custody order because I'm sad about the situation. This lady is a complete nut job who has put both FDH and I through hell over the last two years.

dreamingofhappiness's picture

I am facing the same battles with my DH exB**ch... She files her taxes claiming all 4, court order states she gets two, he gets 2.... TELLS DH your wife will not be a part of MY CHILDRENS lives.... TELLS DH, MY KIDS will NOT be in your home with out you there...

My response: Look B**CH, your attorney, the idiot, did not put in First Right of Refusal, in YOUR paperwork, you can not withhold visitations. She does it anyway.

I have about 30 pages of contempt issues on her... I will get my day... I am just patiently waiting...

I will not bring to the Judge 1 situation on contempt.... But I will bring the Judge 50-100 at a time...

DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT!!!! That is all I gotta say....

Unhappy's picture

I think that she needs to be put in her place in regards to what she can and cannot do. She thinks that because she gave birth to kids that she can do whatever she wants.

I think a nice little reality check would do her some good. She has no documentation through email or text that an agreement was made between her and FDH. She has also received numberous emails from FDH stating that she is only to call in an emegency everything else goes through email.

I've done my research and from what I have been able to find if FDH files for a show of cause hearing she has either two options she can persue. 1) She has to prove that she did not taked FSS on FDH's custodial day or prove that he was aware and agreed to it. 2) She removed either herself and FSS from imenant harm or danger.

She has no documentation that FDH agreed to it and I can assure all of you that FSS was not in danger while he was at daycare.

You have to understand that this lady has crossed the line on more than one occassion. She has sat outside the house at 3 am, stalked FDH, played mind games with FSD telling her that mommy and daddy are going to get back together again, has shown up at the house when both FDH and I were at work without our knowledge or approval, messed with my BD after she was told to stay away from her, called CPS on FDH and filed false allegations of child abuse, harrassed FDH's family. We have her admitting up to all of this through email.

I think it's time to finally stand up and put her in her place.