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Question about deposing BM

Cookieboom's picture

Hello again!

Just wondering the protocol of being deposed.  DS’s therapist has refused therapy to BF, stating he needs BM to sign a release (Which I think is a lie, he is his father!!)

BF and his family have been reaching out to DS and getting no replies.  I personally think BM has blocked them all…When lawyer brought this up, BM stated that she is trying to get DS to talk/see BF, but he is refusing to until BF assures him that we are broken up. 

A friend of a friend found a FB post that BM posted.  It was on NYE, with her, DS and her married BF.  The post makes a comment about being with family during the pandemic.  A screen shot was made of the post and BF has given it to his lawyer (If you all remember she told the judge that she and BF broke up for the sake of DS and that BF NEEDS to do the same if he LOVES his DS….

Lawyer has arranged a date for BM to be deposed.  What does that entail and what questions are going to be asked?  Thanks!

Rags's picture

Ask your lawyer these questions.

Based on her lies I suppose your attorney might nail her ass to the wall about that.  The FB post  you shared with your attorney would make that logical.

Cookieboom's picture

Thanks!  The attorney is my BF's, and he only told me she was getting deposed and didn't know what the questions were.  As far as the FB post, his friend's wife  found it and showed him; who took a screenshot and sent to BF. Also, three soccer dads are willing to testify about the way she treated him (Talking bad about him to others infront of DS, yelling at him and berating him infront of DS) at the games.  

tog redux's picture

How old is the kid? In my state a kid 12 and over is supposed  to consent to the release of medical/mental health info, but it's not a law and there are ways to include a parent even if the kid objects.  If your BF has a court order saying he has a right to information, he should be included. If he has no CO, they should presume joint custody unless the laws of your area give BM sole custody by default (some areas do that if the parents weren't married). The lawyer should be able to answer all of this. 

CastleJJ's picture

I would be scared shitless if I was BM... The whole point of a deposition is to catch you in lies, to make you look bad and to later use that against you. They question you, but you don't know what evidence they have against you. Your attorney will ask BM questions, see what she says and then provide her with the evidence and see what she says to that. The intent is to get BM to perjure herself or to get her caught up in her own lies. Essentially, yes, he is trying to hang her ass to a wall. 

He will likely ask her about her boyfriend. She will say they broke up. He will show her the Facebook post and BM will be backpeddling trying to fix her answer. 

A deposition is treated the same as a court hearing, but it is just the attorneys and BM. She will have to swear under oath and all information provided will be transcribed. It is literally her testimony which they will use later in a court hearing. It's literally "anything you say can and will be used against you."

Cookieboom's picture

CastleJJ,

Thanks for the info.  She not only lied about her BF, but she had told so many lies about different things and told three different stories to the cops and two different judges regarding this whole situation…

 

CastleJJ's picture

And if you have proof of that, they are going to trap her in a corner that she can't get out of. This deposition will expose a lot of her inconsistencies if there is actual proof. 

tog redux's picture

Does the CO say that he has a right to medical information? If so, then he needs to send that to the therapist with a letter from his attorney. 

Cookieboom's picture

*yahoo*Thank you Castle!!  Tog, I'm not sure what the CO states, I will let him know to check about the medical info ☺️ 

Cookieboom's picture

BM refused a different therapist and demanded the current one, I think it was all a ploy to keep DS away from him.

Cookieboom's picture

No one is calling her.  GM, dad and cousins are reaching out to DS....I had nothing to do with the SM, his friends wife who is mutaul friends saw it and gave it to her DH, BF's friend.

skell76's picture

like the back of his hand.  Does he have shared legal custody? If so he has every right to any information and a deciding voice in who the childs therapist is.  If she has blocked it then I would also hold her in contempt.  

Cookieboom's picture

Last I knew, she had primary and they had shared legal.  Like I posted before the old CO is from the divorce and she never followed it (But neither did he)...

Rags's picture

Also remember that deposition can go both ways.  Her attorney can depose both you and your DH separately.

Our strategy in winning for 16+ years in family law court was do whatever had to be done to protect SS's best interests and do it better, with more agression, better attorneys, and more consistency than the opposition was willing to put into it.

Winning in family law court on a single day is rarely the end.  Winning is for the long game when the kids at the heart of the court effort launch into confident, successful, healthy, and peaceful adulthood with your marriage intact and thriving.  To win, the quality side of the equation has to be more commited than the toxic side.

IMHO of course.

Cookieboom's picture

"DS’s therapist has refused therapy to BF, stating he needs BM to sign a release."  This was a lie that BM told her lawyer who told BF's lawyer.  BF kept reaching out to therapist and never got a reply...it turns out he was given wrong contact info for therapist by BM, who claims she did it by "accident."  

BF's lawyer told her lawyer, "Your client is FOS, we're going to the judge!"  the correct info was emailed seconds, yes, seconds after this was stated..  Therapist has now reached out to BF and they are making a game plan to start therapy with DS....