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Primal urge

Want my life back's picture

I often wonder If we think the way we do about skids because of our primal urge to keep our long life mate as ours only. Any offspring that results in DH fathering offspring with another woman, we see as a threat. I wonder if his skids were adopted I would feel less threatened by them as they are not a result of your mate having sex with another woman.

Starla's picture

At first yes without doubt. SS grew on me & I cherish his & my bond though his own dad feel jealous at times. The SD on the other hand... she just a b**** to me & everyone else! I hate that my step kids have any of their BM's looks but can't love them less due to that. Yet there are days when it feels stressful & I end up feeling cheated all n all! It for me started with feelings of my DH cheating on me until I got my head out of my butt & realized just how bad I want my own.....

But there are days when I still feel like hes cheating on me by having walking talking sperm & I have no kids to be grateful for. SSSH our secret......lol

Want my life back's picture

It's like when the skids were much younger one could not give any constructive criticism without DH become all defensive but is willing to listen to constructive criticism when it is relating to your own bio children together. I feel so angry and frustrated inside when he will give lame excuses- like she is overweight because of the anti-depressants she is on- please give me a break, nothing to do with the amount of food she puts down her throat or the lack of exercise- I want to spew- you bred with a overweight woman- apples don't fall far from the trees- look at the BM. I have instilled in all my bio children to make sure you are 100% sure before you breed, and make sure there are no ither children on either side- run a mile- don't get involved. if it is with the wrong person you will have a life of misery and the misery of my future grandchildren as I want their family units in-tact to have both bio parents together to give them every opportunity of a stable adult life and a fulfilling family life, once broken, there is no one else on this planet will love and care for you like your mother and father as a united front.

young_step_mom's picture

It's funny you mention this because DH has talked about this before. He is a pet and has a clinic and we sell pet stuff and we have a pair of parakeets. Well the male parakeet flew out while he was cleaning the cage. The female parakeet had babies and was in the nest. DH was really worried the babies wouldn't live because the male parakeet is part of the feeding process. So we bought another male parakeet and as soon as we put him in the cage DH says, I hope he accepts the other baby birds, it is very unnatural for animals to accept babies that aren't theirs.

I wanted to point out the irony but decided to keep my mouth shut.

Want my life back's picture

What is SSSH??? Yes the walking talking sperm that got away. What really annoys me is the two Adult SD are a clone of his ex- a woman that he can't stand. DH is reminded everytime he sees them and i often look at them as an intrusion into my life as it is like having a younger version of his ex sitting there talking to you and sharing your life, I dont give a damn about their life just as much as they don't give a damn about mine- it is such a false front on both sides now. arghhhhhh. I honestly tried in the first few years to connect with them but grew tired of all the bullshit. My family doctor told me the other day you invite people into your life that make you happy not unhappy, because at the end of the day you are selling yourself short for the sake of DH happiness, don't do it as it will breed resentment.

Raven's picture

I definitely think there is something in the 'skids being a reminder the SO had sex with another woman' theory. My SO has 3 kids, 2 who aren't biologically his and yet I find them far easier to tolerate, despite them looking so much like BM. I have been thinking about this trying to come up with a rational explanation :?

Want my life back's picture

I'm sure the men think the same about our bio children to another man, though they would never admit that, then again why is it men can keep reproducing for as long as they have a willing partner to breed with but our fertile period is so my much shorter. My Daughters best friend has just had a baby girl and I'm so looking forward to seeing this baby and to watch her grow and to watch this beautiful young woman embrace motherhood. My skidSD had a baby last year and i could not and did not want to bond with this child. A child that has made my DH a grandfather with the grandmother- something that deep down I can't share as I'm not willing to participate in what side of the family she looks like. Blahhh blahhh., honestly not interested and the whole saga of his skids just grew by another generation. I am so resentful of the time wasted on spending with, wasting my money on and wasting precious energy in. NEVER EVER become a stepmother as you end up with people in your life that have not been worthy.

Want my life back's picture

Run for the hills, the next generation has him by the balls and the adult skids just love it. Maybe we should have another child to fcuk her up. Grand-daddy will be too busy with his own baby. WTF did we ever get involved in the first place- the whole blended family saga has stuffed up so many lives- my included- my daughter and our son's. And DH doesn't really give a hoot as long as he gets to see everyone, if only it was so simple for the partner involved.

Drama3zone's picture

Blimey you sound like a veteran! I'm sure I can learn lots from you - it for now - depressed at vision of future

WTHDISUF's picture

Well DH did at some point have sex with BM but it didn't produce the kid he plays Dad to so that doesn't really cross my mind. I'm not easily jealous so him having a past or an ex-wife doesn't bother me. Him carrying that past around into his present when he doesn't have to-that's the problem. Lol My dislike of the skid is simply because the skid is not likable and the BM is horrendous. I didn't immediately dislike either of them; I got to know them first and my views of them grew dark after I realized who they were; what kind of people they were. Skid is growing into a carbon copy of what I learned in time, his Mother is: a manipulative, greedy, self-serving piece of used toilet paper.

DeeDeeTX's picture

If he didn't want her to become pregnant why was he having unprotected sex with her? Multiple times?

DeeDeeTX's picture

I could see believing that the first time, but the second? What's his excuse for that? He still didn't believe she could get pregnant, even after she actually had a baby?

I mean I'm happy you don't give a crap, but there's something in that story that doesn't add up.