Planning around stepkids and their biomom
To begin with, let me just say that biomom has been an issue from the very beginning.... won't get into all the details it's way to much!
We have the stepkids every other week from Wednesday to Wednesday. There is no switching up the schedule at all or working with her period. We have asked to get them an hour early before and been told no. She is a control freak and refuses to compromise about anything. We have my kids 50% of the time too but luckily their biodad is very easy going and he and I try to work together to always do what is best for the kids and what will benefit them.
Anyway, long story short, my mom, brothers, sisters in law and nephews are planning a week long vacation in the mountains in December. There is only one week that we could all make happen with our work schedules. My mom is also insisting on paying for the cabin rentals. The week we are going cuts into half a week that the stepkids would be back with their mom. It's also a few days that my bios would be with there dad. But again, it's the only week that worked for all the adults and I'm not the one planning this vacation or paying for it. So DH emails his ex yesterday explaining the situation and asking if we can have the boys the entire week after Christmas so that they can be included in this trip. He even told her he would be willing to give up his time on Christmas Day, she could keep them for that entire Christmas holiday, if we could take them the week after from Monday to Saturday. She immediately emailed him back and said no. That he "is well aware" of their schedule their set schedule and that's not it and she's not switching anything.
Sucks but what can we do? So when the boys came back to our house this morning the older one immediately started in on me with an attitude. He said he heard that my mom had planned a family trip but that he and his brother can't go. And I said yeah, it really sucks we wanted you guys there but your mom will not allow us to switch any time with her. He responds "Well my mom said if your mother had really wanted us to go she would have planned it when we are with you guys. So it's fine." I told him that was not an option. That they all planned this around the adults' holiday work schedules and that everyone can not plan around his mother's set schedule.
So now he's had an attitude with me all day and is being a little shit head. I texted my husband and let him know and all that accomplished was him feeling guilty and saying maybe we should try to get my mom to do it another time or maybe he will just stay home since the boys can't go. In my opinion, that is ridiculous. Yes, it sucks they can't go but there's nothing I can do about it and I am not going to tell my mother and my entire family to try to rearrange their plans. Am I wrong? If anyone could offer me some advice it would be greatly appreciated!