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Pathogenic Parenting New post from Dr. Childress

Thumper's picture

https://drcraigchildressblog.com/2019/11/03/betrayal-of-children/

If anyone has a step child who flat out--rejects parent following divorce please read the above link.

Kids do not reject parents. Kids will get mad at mom or dad, maybe both---then slowly come back out of their room and integrated back in to the 'clan'. Its inherent..its what kids do.

Kids do not reject parents.

One parent is NOT all wonderful and the other parent The Bad Man/Bad Lady SOB, dbag, a**H*** for days weeks, months and years. Kids who have parent/s  in foster care LONG, and beg to be with the offender parent. I have seen that over and over again myself. Yet kids who have a parent of good character, law abiding citizens are rejected...as often seen right here on ST.

Kids of pathogenic parent WILL reject one parent. It will last until Parent and parents minions are not present in the life of the kid.  The light bulb doesn't come on at emancipation. That is a different dynamic and is not pathogenic parenting.

The pathogenic parent is abusing their kid. Courts not equipped to deal with this at all. Dr. Childress IS equiped.

 

 

advice.only2's picture

I have told my DH over and over he will never see his Spawn again until Meth Mouth and Grand Hag are no longer around, even then I doubt he will have a relationship with her.

Thisisnotus's picture

This my oldest DD17, going on 2 years now. I have been completely rejected and my EX has been celebrating. He tried to get DD14 and DD12 to follow suit, but he has failed.

And wow isn't that true. I am respectable working professional of good character, I provide a very nice home and am kind and funny and a great mom to my kids...they have always been spoiled and very well taken care of. There is no reason on earth for my DD17 to hate me so......other than the divorce from her father.

It makes me so sad. And yes I see these kids with horrible awful drug addicted parents....loving and adoring them....and I have a DD17 who berated verbally and gave me dirty looks for the way I laugh or sneeze or what shirt I chose to wear....until she decided to go live with her dad and pretending that I know longer exisit......her number 1 fan is her dad and as long as she hates me....he throws cash and cars and freedom at her.

Thumper's picture

I am deeply sorry for all of you going thru this. It IS awful.

Advise.only---it takes 1 minion to keep the pathogen active.

Thisisnotus..I am so sorry. I do understand.

CLove's picture

SD20 was horribly mean to DH, and her personality is JUST like her toxic narcissisitc mothers.

She lives with her mother now, and has gone no contact with DH, who always took care of her and gave her what she needed.

SD13 tells me her sister is jobless, not going to college and just mooching off the mother, so I think all the karma is heading in the right direction.

SD20 has been no contact for 2 years and its been heavenly. I am hoping that perhaps someday DH and her will have a limited relationship whereby I am not involved, but who knows. She likes drinking and partying and not much else.

Im thinking that Toxc Troll, the mother, might be eveicted at the end of the year when leases are done, and we might have SD20 knocking on our door again, but I have been very clear that is not an option.