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LittlePanda's picture

What if your DH told you that BM had told him multiple times that Skid wasn't his (during arguments), that BM had been fucking 2 other people at the time, AND that he has often wondered if he is the father.

My husband didn't tell me all of this at once, this is over the past few years..but Doesn't a normal person get a test if something is questioned? Especially if these things were said and thought about from infancy to current age of skid. What the hell.

He is lucky we don't pay support or id be stealing his DNA in his sleep.

Then again...what would the answer mean for our life?

He's not even super close to the skid either(yet has majority custody) it's not out of some noble cause to "do the right thing." Which, how could it be right to lie about being someones father if there was a good chance that you were not?

What would you do?

simifan's picture

My DH did the same thing. Signed the AOP even though he had doubts. We did have SD then 5 tested privately before a major court battle because I needed to know before investing that kind of time & money. He knew she was sleeping around & that one of the guys looked similar to him.

I asked him about it when Ghost's story came up. I am firmly convinced that if the roles were reversed women would constantly be asking for a DNA test.

His reasoning...
1. He was young & stupid
2. He was a responsible person & wasn't going to walk away
3. No one else insisted
4. He was afraid of the consequences if SD was his & he asked (Yes, this one is valid BM is a vindictive bitch)
5. He really didn't want to know
6. They were trying to work it out & he didn't want to rock the boat.
7. If SD was his, he wanted her to have his name.

simifan's picture

LOL, DS11 is the spitting image of DH. This just tickles DH pink & he is always pointing it out. When DS does something ridiculously stupid as 11 year old boys do, I say, "not my kid, doesn't look a thing like me."

sixteensmom's picture

why does he have majority custody? What would happen if he found out he wasn't the father. If he'd keep his relationship the same, there's no point in finding out. If you think the kid could actually have a real loving father son relationship with another man... it's a hard one but I guess I'd want to know.

LittlePanda's picture

If he was not the father, I do not think he would keep custody. I don't know what he would do. The kid has no father son relationship because she is a girl. He has custody because the mother was in and out of the picture for a few years...but she's back and she wants the kid back.

jumanji's picture

Why does he not have a "super"close relationship with the child he has custody of? (and the child's gender is moot)

LittlePanda's picture

I don't know why. I am sure there are instances of parents and children not being super close. I have no idea. These people are so fucked up it hurts my soul.

sixteensmom's picture

the more i think about this one the more i feel like a hypocrite. I HATE when people cheat then tell their spouse so they can get it off their chest. i think it's selfish to hurt someone you love and you should have to live with yourself and make it up to your spouse your whole life, and she should never know.

so why did i think it would be right to find out if your dh kid is really his and tell him?

I take it back. I would WANT to find out and tell, REALLY BAD, but i dont think i'd really do it.

LittlePanda's picture

I don't know what I would do..Maybe, as much as I want to know, I don't really want to know. As in, maybe the answer could ruin our lives. I'd hope not, but it would probably screw him up for a long, long time. I do want to know..maybe I will find out.