I received a text from SIL today about sending our DD some hand me downs from her daughter. During the conversation I asked if she had heard from SD16 and said that she had stopped responding to us again. She said that SD has reached out a few times just recently and is trying to make plans to fly out to visit in the spring.
In her response she said that she thought it was unfortunate that there wasn't any consistency with SD having a relationship with us and how she seems so wishy washy with us and that she wasn't sure if it was her mom feeding her stuff or her.
SD stopped talking to everyone in SOs family for about 2 years and has only reached out to her aunt a few times since July which didn't start until after SD cut us out again so it's not just us that she's only wishy washy with us. It felt like she feels that we are partially at fault.
I hate being in this situation where people on the outside don't see the truth and assume that for someone to stop talking to their parent their must be something that the parent did wrong.
If you made it this far thanks for reading. I knew there would be plenty of people on this board that would understand and needed to get that out.