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Parental Alienation is REAL--powerful video

jon adkins's picture

Here is a video of my experience with spousal abuse and parental alienation. I was married to someone who I knew had a high-conflict personality, but I was completely blindsided by what happened during our divorce. I hope others will learn from my experience and will take measures to protect their children before it's too late. Any feedback is appreciated. Thanks.

Warning, strong language.

skylarksms's picture

I think I will post my own blog about the PAS in OUR situation. Very blatant, now that I have learned more about it.

jon adkins's picture


My greatest regret is that I did not set boundaries 12 years ago before my kids came along. My ex's personality disorder, which in my non-professional opinion stems from her very abusive upbringing, was present from day one in our marriage. At first, being the naive new husband that I was, I tended to blame myself for her raging/splitting/depression/etc. As the years went by, and I showed her more and more unconditional love, yet her personality continued to deteriorate, I realized that I was not the root of the problem. I began reading about borderline personality disorder, which had the lightbulb effect that many experience. I was actually in tears as I read the descriptions from others living with bpd. Finally there was an explanation for the madness. Despite being armed with this knowledge, I was still blindsided the parental alienation that took place during our divorce and continues to this day. You ask if I regret leaving. Actually I did not leave. I filed for legal separation (to keep her from moving out of state, which she threatened to do) and demanded that she get counseling. I did not intend to divorce and told her and the kids this. Her response to this was an all out attack, and changing the filing to divorce. The video tells some of the rest of the story, which still continues...

I hope for the best for you and your fiance.

Dave (Jon)

Gabriels Mom's picture

I'm sorry for your situation. I have BPD, it's a mild case-always has been mild- but I have been in therapy for about 10 years. I still go though not as often as I did in the beginning. I feel very sad for the people who do not get help. I am on the other side of that prison wall now and I honestly don't know where I'd be if I hadn't escaped but I know it wouldn't be anywhere good. I think the worst part of your situation is she is hurting your kids. I hope she gets help and really actively participates in her therapy and that all of you can heal from this one day.

HadEnoughx5's picture

Thank you for sharing that very powerful video. My DH heard me listening to it and said "see there are people out there who have it worse than us" My reaction to the comment was "you don't really know how bad it is at their mother's home. You don't know what she is saying to them to alienate them from you".

Alienation is a devastating virus that is difficult to cure.

jon adkins's picture

Thanks for the comments. Mr. Jeffries, I'm already familiar with your website and your book. Thanks very much for these excellent resources.