OT...I need HELP and feedback.
Hi everyone,
I'm not on here much since my divorce. So I'm in a terrible situation. I've been seeing this much older man...he is 62 and I'm 37. No, he is not a sugar daddy and isn't wealthy at all. Infact, he doesn't live in the country full time. He lives here October through March and then goes back to Greece.
Luckily, he has NO kids at all!! But here's the horrible part.....he's married. I know, I know, please be gentle with me...I'm a horrible person, I don't know what happened.
Anyway, we've been seeing each other since Nov, his wife lives in Greece and doesn't come here. He doesn't say anything about her...good or bad and I don't ask.
We had sex for the first time last week, then again last night. As we were drifting off to sleep I thought he said he loved me....I said " what did you just say?" and he said " I'm in love with you. "
What do I do?? I break up with him right there....at 3 am....he was upset and didn't understand.
I feel like I might as well end it now then wait until he leaves in March especially because it will be more involved. Am I wrong??? I don't feel good about myself sometimes when I'm with him because he's married but other times it feels so right.
I want opinions on if it would have made a difference if I'd waited until March to end it??? I am already wishing I wouldn't have been so impulsive....ok....ducking now...
Nothing would be different
Nothing would be different except both of you would be hurt more. He needs to learn he can't have his cake and eat it too.
I've been in your shoes, and when I found out about the wife I ended it. Of course the men are hurt and don't understand, they think they can do whatever and not have respect their wives.
You can consider this your rebound guy.
End it. You got what you
End it. You got what you needed from this guy, time to move on. He is going to a level you obviously aren't wanting to be at. Break it off and go on.
Good luck to you
You absolutely did the right
You absolutely did the right thing, why drag this out till March. He has a wife in Greece, all the ethnic family ties etc. I a sorry for your pain, but trust me if you had dragged this out or continued on in the relationship it was going nowhere. You ended it, now if he truly loves you he will understand that he needs to clean up the mess he has in Greece before he can expect to have a life with you. I am proud of you for ending it, and really, he does understand, he knows exactly why you ended it, even if he tells you othrwise, he is not that stupid. Well done to you for having enough pride and self respect or ending it. Now, you made a mistake, learn from it and move on, don't beat yourself around the head and live a life of guilt over it, just learn from it. Again, well done for ending it, if you hadn't done what you did he would have known he could play you and her for as long as he liked. She may be conditioned in her culture to take that, you however know better. Good Luck.
I have been cheated on
I have been cheated on multiple times...my husband was a serial cheater until he got help for himself. He did it for exciting sex. Think about it. This man is in his sixties...his wife is likely close to his age...she likely has wrinkles and saggy breasts...you likely do not. He is a pompous asshole using you for sex with a hot body while his wife of likely 40 years holds down the fort at home and goes to bed alone half the year. They likely have kids and grandkids together.
Unless it is really just about the sex, you are being ok with having less than half a man. His money, his love, his life...is back home in Greece with his wife.
I am not judging you at all, just trying to put it all in perspective. I highly doubt he "loves" YOU, he likely just loves having sex with someone so much younger. I have spent countless hours researching the heart of men that cheat and the hearts of women that sleep with married men trying to understand what happened in my marriage...trust me, affairs benefit no one.