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O/T Would you move?

Cozy's picture

DH and I are both seniors in college and applying for grad schools next fall. He is limiting his choices to those in the area in order to be close to SD5. Most of the good programs in my particular field are a few states away. We live in an area of the country where our high hopes after college include the local mini-mart or maybe bank teller. I don't feel that I should limit myself just because DH won't move, I look at this at a once in a lifetime opportunity. To move or not to move? How to break it to DH?

Cozy's picture

Thank you! I am having the hardest time getting DH to understand this. Grad school is a two year commitment that will pay off for the rest of my life. BM and her DH both work at WalMart. Good on them for at least having jobs, but that's not what I envisioned for my future.

Stupidlyoptimistic's picture

Why is your DH even considering grad school if he doesn't plan on moving somewhere to use his degree? Seems like a waste of time and money IMO.

You need to do what is best for you. I wish I had gone on to grad school before I had BS3. Once you take time off, it is really hard to go back. I graduated 6 yrs ago, and I'm still trying to find the time and money to go to grad school. You don't have bios right now. You need to get your education now before life gets in the way. If 5 yrs down the road things go south for you and your DH, you won't be kicking yourself for not getting the degree you wanted. If you have the chance to go to grad school now, then do it.

christinen's picture

I would not pass up an opportunity to go to grad school. I started working in my field after I got my bachelor's degree and then went on for my master's. Since receiving my master's 1.5 year ago, I have already increased my salary by about 20k. Depending on your field, it can make a HUGE difference.

If you chose to stay where you are for your own kids, that would be one thing, but for someone else's kid? No. Don't do it. You will regret it every day of your life.

emotionaly beat up's picture

You shouldn't have to break it to him. You just tell him.

It's fine for him to sacrifice his plans for his kids. That is what works best for him, and that is what he's doing. Now you have to do do what is best and right for you.

SMof2Girls's picture

If you don't move and pursue your education, you will regret it. If he really loves you, he will support you and you will survive a long distance relationship.

Cozy's picture

Wow! Thanks for the advice. I really do think DH is dreaming if he assumes we will find jobs in this little midwest town with our BAs. Maybe he'll come around in the next couple of years before we finish, but if not I know what I'm doing.