OT vent SD wont sit still at dinner table/out in public/at summer camp/watching TV...etc.
Please tell me someone has had this issue before and how it was stopped. SD bounces and moves her body so much at dinner it is disturbing. She is told repeated times to stay still and eat, not to sit on her knees, not to get up from the table and move around. This is also something she gets in trouble with at school, she wont sit on her bottom and eat her lunch. She will stand up, sit on her knees, then back to standing up again. The teacher is now putting her in time out after lunch if she has to be spoken to more than once.
I told DH today that I am over saying anything to her anymore. I am going to completely ignore her at the table and we shall see what happens with that. I am not sure what table manners she is taught with BM but I am sure they are no where near as strict as our house.
When is the day going to come where she realizes WE are the house you DONT play around when it comes to certain things... BM is absent minded and half the time out of her mind...so anything goes there... its just crap when one house is what the majority thinks is stable and beneficial to the child... and the other is like Disneyland with a bunch of children running the show and no adults in sight.
If she is truly having a
If she is truly having a problem with this at school and at home, have y'all considered having her evaluated for ADHD? If she has it, there are things you can do to help her learn to control her behavior. Not being able to sit still during mealtime is one of the things on the parent evaluation worksheets for ADD/ADHD .
There are kids who truly are
There are kids who truly are ADD/ADHD and benefit from treatment. My son was able to manage his rather severe ADD without medication. We used an ADD/ADHD coach. But had he not improved, I wouldn't have hesitated to medicate him.
It is definitely worth talking to your pediatrician.
I am not for medicating
I am not for medicating unless it was so out of control that she was hurting herself with her constant need to move around or others. I cannot imagine not doing something I was told to do as a child. It is not like we are asking her to sit on nails or hot coals, it is sit still long enough to eat, swallow and finish chewing before you run off to get into something else.
More issues from last week when BM had her...SD was flushing paper towels down the toilet at school even after flooding the toilet on Wed and Thurs, she flushed more on Friday. Teacher calls BM and BM says "well, why do you think she is doing that?". Teacher was like I have NO clue but if it doesnt stop she is out!
Back to the no movement control issues... BM mentioned having a therapist she SD but then she says one is too mean and the other is this or that, so that is a dead end road. Then BM and DH cant agree on whether or not to have SD ped. see her for ADD issues...its like they are both just blinded with guilt its doing nothing but hurting SD.
So I am typing this from my desk during dinner since I cannot take sitting there...and even after I said I wouldnt say anything I broke down and said something and then removed myself from the table.
She may not have ADD/ADHD.
She may not have ADD/ADHD. There are several behavioral issues that closely resemble ADD. Obstinate defiant disorder, for example. That's a behavioral issue. ADD/ADHD is a medical condition. Your pediatrician is a good place to start. Our pediatrician was willing to make the diagnosis. I wanted a pediatric psychiatrist to test and treat my son.
It cost us a fortune to have him tested and treated even with excellent insurance. I wasn't ok with the whole let's try medication thing. I wanted him tested and then I wanted options for treatment. My son is now in college at a major university about 600 miles away from home. He's an A/B student. He is not medicated. He worked with an ADD coach for a long time to learn to self-manage his condition. Had we not gotten him help early in his life, I don't see how he could have gotten to this point.
SD did the EXACT SAME
SD did the EXACT SAME THING!!
I would definitely recommend doing some ADD/ADHD research first. SD doesn't have it, but I would have felt terrible if she had and we were punishing her for things she couldn't control.
But since she isn't ADD/ADHD and is just a brat... once her butt leaves the chair, her plate is scraped into the garbage and she begins her bedtime routine. About three nights of going to bed early and hungry and she miraculously overcame the problem.
DH refused to do anything about it until I began refusing to eat with him and his daughter. I swear, it was like raising TWO additional kids - DH and SD.
My Dh told me his YS had
My Dh told me his YS had ADHD. It was weird because his older brother was taken for a check up because his preschool teacher said he was uncontrollable. Hmmm, he was behaving like all the other little boys who weren't already doped up.
His younger brother would not sit still. Slept spasmodically, he could not look you in the eye because his eyes were darting all over the place.
He was on meds for about 12 years (and yes, they stunted his growth). YSS is now 17 and so laid back he is almost comatose! Which is quite ironic seeing how much he couldn't keep still when he was younger.
Now his dream job is to lay on the beach in Jamaica. Go figure!
But if your SD exhibits things she cannot control like constant fiddling ( we still have YSS17 pulling our pens to bits while he is watching TV) and the eye twitching thing it may be something she cannot control.
Also get her checked for thread worms. This makes kids VERY twitchy.
When it comes down to it... I
When it comes down to it... I really think SD is so over indulged by both BM and DH that she feels antsy is no one is paying attention to her.
A bit of back history - BM and DH were married for 10 years before they got prego with SD. BM had issues getting prego and then they got prego and divorced (after a long drawn out battle) 3 years later. During the time between SD being born (premature 2 months in hospital) and 2 years old...they slept with daughter, never went anywhere without her, basically the only time they were away from her was at work after she was over 1. She did not stop drinking a bottle until she was well over 2 and didn't fall asleep by herself until she was over 3. When I mentioned to DH when SD was 2ish, that he was making her too dependent on him, he thought it was cute and that's the way it should be. Well, needless to say WE are paying for this now.
SD mouth is full of cavities, she is pigeon toed (due to BM and DH ignoring this and not getting her proper shoes to correct it), she has a speech issue (that was never addressed as I recommended), she is afraid of necessary things like the dentist, doctor, hair cuts, unwilling to try new foods, throws tantrums, talks back, argues with DH, over dramatizes punishments, can make herself throw up, gags on vegetables,..etc. Lord, now I am depressed!
Wow...that little girl sounds
Wow...that little girl sounds like a pistol! My DH and the BM did some of the same things with their daughter, she was allowed to sleep in their bed or they made a pallet for her on the floor. I told him when we lived together that our bed was ours and SD would need to sleep in her own room, SD was 5 at that time. It took about a year for her to realize that she was not crawling into bed with daddy every weekend she was at our house. She is almost 10 now and still sleeps with her mom.
It amazes me how some people raise their kids. They are so afraid to be a parent.
Oops, look like I replied to
Oops, look like I replied to the wrong poster. Anyway, I've dealt with SS being told he has problems learning because he is ADHD. The kid uses that as a crutch now in school. I am amazed that the doctor will tell the BM to slap a Concerta patch on him every day and when school stops just up and quit the patch for the summer. Why does he not need it daily, but only when school is in sesssion.
This young man is underweight for his age. The Concerta kills his appetite.
I understand some kids have real issues with concentration. But parents NEED to take a close look and the diet's of these children. There are direct links to poor & inadequate nutrition and ADD/ADHD. Aspartame causes neurological damage!!! Do some research.
SD food intake with us is
SD food intake with us is very healthy or rather as healthy as SD will eat without getting in trouble. When SD is with BM, she covers everything with ranch dressing, ketchup, BBQ sauce and gravy.
Makes me want to gag!
SD even went so far as to ask for ranch dressing to dip her grilled cheese in because thats how BM lets her eat it. I said, I dont think so, eat it the way it is or you dont eat at all. The icing on the cake was when SD asked to dip her apples in sugar like BM lets her. BM is MENTAL! And not to mention obese and sending her daughter straight down the same road of self loathing and no confidence.
Dumb ol' bovine!
I am very knowledgeable of
I am very knowledgeable of herbs and supplements. I suggested we take SS to see my friend who runs a herbal store to be muscle tested. He was deficient in several areas. We purchased several different supplements including Flax Seed Oil for him to take. Once the BM found out I did this she threw it all away and slapped a patch back on him.
ADHD MEDS ARE AMPHETAMINES!
Kids these days eat way too many processed foods and those have the nutritional value of a card board box. My SS's diet is crap, he eats sugary items all day, he also eats too many foods with Red Food Dye 4. He is also allowed to chew 3-4 packs a day of sugar free gum, loaded with aspartamine.
When the FDA first approved aspartame it had the warning that aspartame should not be heated or used in cooking. This is because heating aspartame over 86F turns the methanol into formaldehyde. It is very easy to find many studies that discuss the damaging effects of formaldehyde on the human body.
So either you ingest the methanol and your body turns it into formaldehyde, or you heat up the aspartame (in your coffee or in cooking) and it turns into formaldehyde before you even consume it. What does formaldehyde do to you?
Formaldehyde has been shown to cause headaches, immune system breakdown and nervous system breakdown, even at low doses.
My BS12 has ADHD and ODD.
My BS12 has ADHD and ODD. Obedience Defiant Disorder. He has NEVER taken medication. He was placed in a Behavior Modification class from the 2nd grade until the 5th. During the 5th grade he was slowly mainstreamed into the regular classes. He is now going to the 8th grade, he is completely mainstreamed but has an IEP. He gets all the services offered for Special Needs kids. He has an Aid that assists him whenever he's stuck, he gets state testing in a separate room and gets extra time, and he gets Academic support for Language Arts & Math. He is an excellent student and has seriously done a complete 180.
He plays sports too which help with all the extra energy issues. I still have problems with him being defiant, he can't shut up. Always has to have the last word, I told him he should join the debate team.
How old is SD? She sounds
How old is SD? She sounds just like my bf's kid who is almost 6. Can't eat right and behave at all. Has a lot of issues at school and well is annoying because I dog would have figured it out by now. Its been 2 yrs that I have been trying to teach table manners and still doesn't get. Doesn't follow directions, listen, or behave. He lives here 24/7. I am so done.