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OT, sort of but not really

P Popper's picture

so... tonight SO comes home from work already mad.
has been that way all night.
I listened to him complain about work (as usual).
He's been getting more and more distant since Sunday afternoon when we got back from a nearby city we decided to explore, after living here for just over a year(and me leaving mid next week)...

back story....

i arranged ubox from uhaul
i arranged for movers to help me load the ubox so that so/dh wouldnt have to help me as things are really bad between us since he asked me to move out one month early.
movers took box 1 to uhaul storage to be moved tomorrow am.
i realized I needed a 2nd box so we are scrambling (me & uhaul/ubox) to get it to me to load and I asked so/dh to help get the box to uhaul by 9 am tomorrow morning. he said he would. i assumed he'd help me load it too... ok....????

remember what happens when we assume?
I made an ass out of u and me...

s/o came home from work already in a foul mood. he watched me (sat around drank beer walked around yard, road the 4 wheeler around, sat in the garden, loaded the dishwasher and cleaned the dishes (for the first time in 2-3 weeks) and said he didnt want to help me load anything tonight as he didnt want to do it in the dark... he then proceeded to gather the enpty beer bottles and cans and take them down the same stairs to the garbage in the same darkness(even darker) than the darkness that was too much to help me... as I am sweating through my undies, bra, etc... ok.....????
so... distnat, passive agressive in regards to dinner and chores(always has been... when he has a chore to do- take the garbage down, cook, clean, even mow the yard or burn piles of limbs- he get grumpy. has as long as I've know him- 6+ years), but I'm still packing and hauling boxes to the porch, as I had loaded everything from the basement all by myself, in 100+ degree temp, got off early to do it, etc...

so, he obviously pooped and comes to me at 10:55 pm. PM!!!!! tonight and says,
i'm gonna have a bath...
the tub he is filling is in the vedroom im sleeping in while we are seperated before i leave next week.
he goes to work whenever he wants, literally. he was short with me this mroning because I was trying to get ahold of him while I was trying to arrange this rush second ubox issue... he was still home and headed to work at 9:55 am... he wasnt answering the home phone because he was out on a walk with the dogs!!!
and he needs to take a bath, in the room im sleeping in, and should still be packing final stuff to let movers haul it instead of cramming it into my car w/me, dog, cat & all that goes along with that...

and he did this one night about a week and a half ago.
he informed me that he was taking a bath after 9:30 pm. I usualky go to bed by 10 am(even if I get up due to insomnia) and when I came into the bathroom(after knocking) on that night, at 9:59pm, he was short with me. I said, dude, it's my bedtime, you just got int, I need to brush my teeth and get ready to crash...

so tonight I told him I am tired of his passive agressive ways and he could bathe in the other tub.
that it was rude to watch me haul all that shit tonight and not lift one finger and to be passive agressive and distant, increasingly so, while I am doing all I can to get out, as he requested...

so he is. right now. in the smaller tub, ' as I wished' according to him. like it's a sacrafice.

he's such a taker.

I am sorry for the long rant.

i knew it wouldnt be easy, so why am I always caught offguard when he shows his true colors again, and again, and again...

I cant wait to be gone from him(that is why im spending the extra $$ for the 2nd box- i dont ever want to have a reason to come back here or call him for anything.
he and his daughter have been so rude and have used me for the last time.

rant over

in the immortal words of Clark Griswald " Holy Shit! Where's the Tylenol!"

Monchichi's picture

He is a tool. Keep your spirits up. Your "jail time" is almost up and you will be free. You will move on to bigger and better with so much loveand happiness.

Redredwine's picture

Weelllllll, I don't know about that. She said she'd be out by X date and he wants her out sooner so I think he should help if he wants his deadline met.

Justme54's picture

I think I get it. He asked you to move out early. You are working on that request. Would it really hurt him to give you hand?

Look at this in a positive way. He asked you to move out. It is not surprise that he is being a DICK!. When you get settled in your own place. You will have bad days and weak moments...thinking of past good times. BREATH AND BACK UP...to remember this moment.

He is doing you a favor. Let the next woman put up with his shit.

HUGS...And cheers to better days of freedom in your own space!

ChiefGrownup's picture

Thank him for reminding you how glad you are to be moving on. You will have no regrets. Perfect. What an ass.