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OT - Rant about girlfriend being "broke"

futurobrillante99's picture

I guess this might be a bit ON TOPIC because it's about a BM.

Said BM has been divorced 4 years and has 3 children: DS18, DD16, and DD8. She just had a hearing yesterday for CS modification. She got what she wanted - an increase in CS for her two daughters at home. She won't know what the judge decided on back child support or lawyers fees until his ruling arrives by mail.

She's bummed today and was going on and on with me about how I just don't get it - that she's struggling to feed her three children!!!

Okay, let's review. She has a BRAND NEW Subaru with a car loan and an old Subaru without a car loan that's for her daughter to use "someday." She gets her nails done regularly and pays about $200 a month for her phone bill and another $200 a month for cable. To top it all off, she is living in the house she grew up in and her dad pays the mortgage. She pays about $300 a month towards "rent" and pays the utilities.

She allows her 18 year old who has graduated and is working full time, earning a nice salary, live there rent free and consuming groceries and utilities as he and his girlfriend like to have shower sex for at least 30 minutes (water isn't cheap).

She earns about 30K less than I do and when I asked why she was so bummed today after prevailing and she went on this whine about how she needs more money so she can feed her children. She also threw out how I make more than she does. Yeah. I have a bachelor's and master's degree and my kids are all grown. Um, duh. She's halfway through her undergrad degree.

I don't have a brand new Subaru - I don't have a car payment. I don't get my nails done weekly. I have a pedi once every 6-8 weeks. I have a $43 cell phone bill and a $0 cable bill (DH pays for it). I just don't have as many expenses as she does because she thinks she needs the latest phone and a full cable/Internet package.

I don't feel sorry for her ex. He cheated on her and is a registered sex offender (affair with 14 year old). He married the woman he cheated on BM with. That woman already had 4 kids and they've had 2 or 3 together; together they have TEN kids. Yes he's a narcissistic butthole, but seriously!! The answer is not to get more and more and more money out of this guy. He's been ordered to pay the appropriate amount according to the state.

With child support, she only makes 10-12K less a year than I do.

I tried to tell her we all have choices to make and if it REALLY comes down to her not being able to feed her children, she'll have to make sacrifices (nails, cable, cell phone bill, etc.)

She doesn't want to hear it. She thinks like a poor person, so I doubt she'll ever have a lot.

zerostepdrama's picture

She thinks like a poor person, so I doubt she'll ever have a lot.


Majority of "poor" people think like this.

I have a co-worker who makes a decent salary and then works a second job (to avoid her DH and BS) and still complains about being broke.

Yet she has a new car, new furniture, they eat out ALL the time, they buy expensive stuff, etc. She's racking up the credit card debt. But she's always crying "poor".

I get so frustrated listening to her.

Aniki's picture

People like this are so irritating!! They refuse (IMO) to understand what is NECESSARY in life. Food, clothing, shelter.

Mani/pedis are not necessary.
Expensive cell phones are not necessary.
Junk food, alcohol, cigarettes.... NOT necessary.
He!!, even a haircut is not a necessity if you can a) cut it yourself or b) have a friend who will cut it for free.

The age of entitlement. Not just the youth, but adults, too. Sigh....

beebeel's picture

How the duck does "AFFAIR with a 14 year old" even come out of people's brains these days. No 14 year old has a freaking affair. They either have sex with their peers or they are raped by old perverts like that guy.

Rags's picture

Oh yes. The entitlement minion victim mentality. There is no using logic with these people. They will never recognize how their own choices impact their situation.

My SIL (my brides youngest sib) is one of these. She and her DH are eternally on the precipice of foreclosure on Their house, repossession of the cars, having their utilities turned off, etc, etc, etc..... Never once is there recognition that she is an idiot who is in the situation she is in entirely due to her choices.


Good luck. The Stupid is strong with this GF.

WTF...REALLY's picture

Excuse me if I am wrong..but isn’t your husband this way? Spends more than he should....cry’s poor....wants to buy things he should not? :?

marblefawn's picture

Most Americans just buy, buy, buy, buy, buy... There's some collective mania that they're treating with consumption.

They say the middle class is disappearing here, and it is. But the definition of middle class has changed from the old days. The average American house is more than twice the size it was in the '50s. New houses are built with a bathroom for every bedroom, plus an extra one for the random ass. People with one kid live in five-bedroom and SIX-bathroom) houses!!! And every kid goes to college because even the most menial jobs require degrees. But college is big business: a school that used to consume 18% of the family income in the '50s now swallows 79% of household income because higher ed is BIG business now. And kids don't even work summer jobs anymore because parents say, "kids should just get to be kids," and yet they buy these "kids" cars at 16 and STILL rent limos for their proms!

It's nuts! I get sick of hearing people whine $$$ too. If you live in UK, you should see the size of the cars people drive here. It's ridiculous. Bloomberg just reported today that car makers are eliminating sedans because, no matter how expensive fuel gets, Americans will still drive their giant-ass cars.

Stupid people.

ESMOD's picture

Be careful about generalizing "Americans" Not all are the same. Not all drive huge cars.. not all have 6 bedroom homes. Yes, there are some that do, but a large portion of the population lives more modestly and if they own a large truck it's because they use it for work.

marblefawn's picture

I said "most" because a recent study indicated 70% of Americans live in constant debt, but 70% do not live at or below the poverty level.

beebeel's picture

Yeah, Americans live in constant debt because most of us have to pay for college and health care ourselves.

Acratopotes's picture

It's not only Americans...

It's a multi culture thing, belief me....

mommadukes2015's picture

Yup. That would be my step sister who in 2016 had a car repo'd, declared bankruptcy, bought a new car, bought a house and had a baby all within about 6 months. She CONSTANTLY cries poverty to my step dad but she had a used Subaru before she bought her new car, that was FINE. But she "needed more room for the baby" and later admitted the new car was actually no bigger than the Subaru. She WANTED a new car. Oh! And the kicker-she decided to be a SAHM after all this was said and done! (My mom and I were like WTF) She then decided to get married this year, and had a full wedding-then cried about not having money to buy diapers. Wedding are optional chica and if you're spending money on these frivilous things rather than meeting your kids needs you might not be the MOTY you claim to be. She also spends enough money on Yankee Candles that they should consider adding her on as a partner. I love candles too but the $3 Walmart ones that I buy she gushes over every time she's here-how they smell so good and this and that-BUT they aren't name brand. 1x per year I splurge on candles from our local county fair (this lady makes soy candles and they're scrumptious)-but I only buy 1 at $10 IF I have the money. She also refuses to shop at stores like Aldi and Price Right (where I save a TON) because "that food is gross". It really isn't, you can't always get fresh fruit there but with all you save you can pay $6 for a bag of grapes somewhere else and not go crazy. I also follow a specialized diet-the AIP paleo and I make out like a bandit at Aldi. I also old her that I compared the Aldi version of baby formula to the enfamil I was giving BD and it was actually the same damn thing, but $9 cheaper. She was like "I'm not feeding that to my baby!" ???? Okay then.

Her kids all have 4 wheelers, dirt bikes and the baby had a gun before he even had ears (I'm not freaking kidding either). Her new hubby just put a cummins engine in his truck-it's INSANE what some people do and then have the audacity to claim poverty. I made double what she made last year and I don't have half the shit she does.

Oh and BIL is a farm hand. So i don't know if they have Houdini's ashes hiding the house somewhere but their budget must be one helluva magic trick every month.

Acratopotes's picture

YOu are way more polite then what I am...

I would've asked her..

YOu have cable - why not use that money for food?
You do your nails weekly - why not use that money for food
You have a high phone bill, spend less time chatting and more time using money to buy food
You have an adult kid sponging off you - he can buy the food...