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O/T .. Last minute wedding invite.. should we go??

christinen's picture

Hey guys, hope you don't mind me posting about something non skid-related but I just need some quick advice!

Today, DH and I were invited to a wedding that is happening in 1.5 days (Saturday). The bride told me that she had some people who had already RSVP'd cancel so she has open spots & wanted to see if we wanted to come.

The bride is my co-worker. I didn't expect to be invited to the wedding originally (we are friendly but not extremely close) so I have no hard feelings about that whatsoever. I just feel a little awkward & not sure if we should go or not!

It's a local wedding so we wouldn't have to travel or anything, but it's very short notice to go out and find a gift and find DH something to wear, etc.

What would you do?

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

Me, personally, I'd feel like I was on the B list. It sounds like you were invited only because of the cancellation. They probably don't want to lose money on the plates they already paid for. I could be totally wrong.

But no, I personally wouldn't go.

Patsy's picture

I would go LOL free date for DH and I. Well if DH and I were on better terms right now. Hell we use to crash weddings all the time when we were poor and we had a great time. I guess it depends on how much fun you have with your DH.

Patsy's picture

For years I thought that was normal - I was only 18 when we met. Oh man to go back to those days! Then sometimes by the end of the reception people really thought they knew you! We had sooooo much fun. This is also why we decided to have a destination wedding. We knew there would be crashers you know with karma and all that!

christinen's picture

Hahaha thanks guys! I was definitely on the B list. I honestly didn't think anything of it when she didn't invite me. I would have never expected to be invited to her wedding because we aren't that close. I just felt like it was awkward for her to say some people canceled and then invite us. I agree she probably doesn't want to waste the plates she paid for. On the other hand, DH and I probably would have a good time! I'm a little torn. I probably will not go.

Patsy's picture

Oh go! Have a good time! People watch and make out in the car after the reception... Wink OR during the reception since you are on the "B" list lol

toywas's picture

I would not attend; it's obvious you were not important to invite in the first place it's only wanting your gift

momof5_1969's picture

I wouldn't go. You have to spend money now on a gift and on clothes for hubby, for one night. No.

momof5_1969's picture

I wouldn't go. You have to spend money now on a gift and on clothes for hubby, for one night. No.

christinen's picture

DH said he has clothes he can wear if we want to go & left it up to me, but I still don't really want to go gift shopping! & I definitely don't want to show up without a gift. We will most likely not go.

Patsy's picture

Sounds like you Dh wants to you are on the "B" list so get a "B" list gift. Something that amounts to what if normally costs for you and DH to have a meal out. A bottle of wine and chocolates will work.

christinen's picture

YES! If she said she had some openings & we are welcome to come but no gifts, that would be different. I just feel like it's really short notice for me to go gift shopping and we are low on cash right now anyway so it's just too short of notice.

Disneyfan's picture

All I can think of is why would anyone pay (we don't give gifts at weddings~always a card with money inside) to be on the fill in guest list.

The people she really wanted to attend can't make it so now she's giving the bench warmers a shot. RUDE RUDE RUDE.

Patsy's picture

EWW no I disagree bring your DH. That's just me, but we all know I like to crash weddings. I'm rude like that. Blum 3 Heck you got an invite, I can't imagine analizing over it so much. You wanna go GO if not then don't. Life is too short.

bearcub25's picture

Agree, at least she was honest.

I would take that over a 'mix up' in invites lie any day. Just get something small and say, 'I'm sorry, funds are tight at this moment, but here is a little something.'

hereiam's picture

Well, I don't like weddings to begin with and then to be an afterthought? If you want to go, go. If you don't want to go, don't.

If I thought it was going to be a fun reception, I might go. If funds were tight, I might see what I already have that I could give them (I am always buying stuff on sale that I never use).

I certainly wouldn't feel obligated to go.

I do agree that she should have stressed "NO GIFT" just come and have fun.

simifan's picture

I would go if you want a night out. Pick up a cheap gift & go. I wouldn't be offended. I know seating was tight at most of my families events as we have a large family. Co-workers usually the first to go.

christinen's picture

Thanks for the advice, all!

DH ended up getting some side work for Sat & we really need the money right now so he is going to work & I just let my coworker know sorry but we can't make it because DH is working. It all worked itself out.

Thanks again Smile