You are here

OT-Getting a bad vibe from someone that other people seem to think is great

jojo68's picture

Have any of you ever had a bad gut feeling about someone who really hasn't done anything to make you feel that way? There is a girl I work that I can not stand. Other people at work with the exception of a few others think she is the second coming of Mother Theresa but for some reason I don't buy what she's selling. She is a very average person not ugly not pretty so I don't think it is jealousy. She is always bringing food to work or taking people to lunch...she is always laughing (btw has a very annoying laugh) and agrees with everything anyone says. What's not to like right??? But I can not stand the point that I get a sick feeling in my stomach if I have to be around her.
She is very lazy and flirts with the guys to get away with not pulling her weight is really the only thing that is obvious but I have worked around a lot of lazy women and didn't feel this way about them so I don't think that is it. I have tried to figure out if its just me or is something really off with this person. Just like to hear from anyone who knows where I'm coming from.

not2sureimsaneanymore's picture

All I can say is: Follow your gut instinct. You have it so use it.

I can't tell you the number of times I chose to ignore said instinct and it backfired. You could be subtly picking up cues other people aren't noticing. You don't have to be mean or impolite, and you can still be cordial and work well together, but don't lose the feeling you have because it might serve you well one day.

jojo68's picture

I definately am going to follow my gut instinct and see where it leads

jojo68's picture

That is exactly it...other than the laziness there isn't really anything too terrible about her. I don't think that I am jealous of her because people like her because most people like me too (or at least I think they do LOL) It's just a feeling I have that she is not who she seems to be. She makes me uncomfortable anytime she is near me. She tries really hard to be my friend but I just can't make myself even give it a try. :O

confused9090's picture

you see something in her that reminds you of yourself, and you don't like that part of yourself. Just a thought. Sometimes theres some psychology behind it.

or it could be, you think she is a disingenuous person, and therefore that rubs you the wrong way. Nothing wrong with feeling that way and recognizing it. we don't always have to like everybody. I actually feel the same about some of my coworkers too. You don't have to like, ignore her, and don't ever pull her work load. Do what u can to make yourself shine at work too.

jojo68's picture

Could be LOL...but my best friend in high school and still is my friend even though we don't live close anymore was a Libra...I'm a Taurus. That girl is my partner in crime to the end! Smile

classyNJ's picture

Go with your gut. She maybe fake and you can see it.

I have the same feeling about SS14 baseball coach. Most of the love him, but I think he is a complete douche bag. I have never felt easy around him and most of the time I do not pay attention to other people I don't know unless I want to know them. I walk by him and my hair stands up. :sick: :sick:

Evil3's picture

I agree with those who say go with your gut. Also, are you justice oriented? I'm in that same situation both at work and with SD27, but it's because it drives me completely insane to see someone get away with fooling everyone. Not only do they get away with it, but they're rewarded for it. I cannot stand how some people are never seen for who and what they really are. The injustice of it drives me bonkers. Could it be that? You can clearly see that this woman is not all nicey-nice, and there's no justice because she's being rewarded for her phoney behaviour?

jojo68's picture

Most definately I am justice oriented and it infuriates me when other people don't see through the bullsh*t. She has only been with the company for a few months and had this bright idea to have a new years party...some of the dumbasses that bought into it...paid for everything and did all the work and it was her idea in the first place(I heard that only a handful of people showed up and it was a very boring event LOL)

jojo68's picture

LOL...Ah yes the socialites. In my workplace though they are usually the one's to mow you down at quitting time to get out the door. Not going to say that I never socialize but it's not a regular thing and only when I am not busy.

jojo68's picture

I heard that she doesn't like one of the other workers that work around her so I wonder if maybe he sees through her BS and doesn't show her favoritism so she is threatened by him. I don't know him well enough to ask him anything about

I have always had a similiar feeling about my SD17. Like she was not the innocent childlike person she portrayed to be and found out that I was spot on. I can't go into on here but it was shocking to say the least.

I think I will trust my instinct on this one. Thanks for all your feedback ladies!!!!

SM12's picture

Always follow your gut. There have been many times I have gotten an uneasy feeling about a person who has done nothing at all wrong. But my gut told me they were not to be trusted. Eventually they always prove me right. DH has ZERO ability to do this. He meets someone and instantly thinks they are great while I am sitting back thinking "Oh no they aren't!"

I lost count how many times I would tell DH to watch out for someone and tell him what was about to happen and it happened.
He doesn't question my opinions about that anymore

jojo68's picture

Oh DH has no instinct at all..he trusts everybody that is the least bit nice to him (especially women LOL)and SD17 can do just about anything and he just dismisses it like it never happened. I tell him that he doesn't need to trust people right away or be buddy buddy with co-workers and he never listens and it always blows up in his face.

2Tired4Drama's picture

Gut instinct is important. Think of all the victims of crime who felt there was something wrong with someone, but ignored that internal warning. Many wound up paying with their lives.

Psychopaths and sociopaths are VERY adept at BSing others. They are the ones with the phony, jovial personalities, trying to win everyone over. They have smiles that seem plastic and their eyes are dead when they grin at you. Beware.

Keep in mind that not all 'paths are murderous killers. Many are among us, in the workplace and in our own families.

My boss is some kind of 'path. I am not a psychiatrist but I know there is something seriously wrong with him. First, he is a BS artist extraordinare. Has won over all the big bosses into thinking he is the most intelligent, competent, loyal employee that ever was. In the background, he is a lying, back-stabbing SOB who will attempt to destroy ANYONE who gets in his way or tries to strip him of his facade. I am one of them who has tried, and he immediately began a campaign of retaliation against me. But now that enough time has passed, others have seen him for what he is and I'm being vindicated.

My SD has some kind of problem, too. Not sure if she is an uber narcissist or on the verge of 'path-ism. All I know is my dog used to run into the basement when SD came to visit. Didn't do that with ANYONE else, only SD. Very telling.

My point is that you need to watch out for this person. Don't go around asking others if they feel the same way you do right off the bat - if she gets wind of it she will twist it against you. Be polite, be professional and be very, very wary.

Rags's picture

I find it interesting that outgoing jovial people are fairly frequently felt by others to be borderline 'paths. I have found that personality typing works very well to help figure out the communication style that works best with particular people.

I am an Expressive with primary strong Driver tendencies and secondary strong Analytical tendencies.

In other words I am an energetic extroverted driven leader team builder type with strong intuitive decisioning characteristics backed with a healthy level of analytical capability.

In the Myers-Briggs world I am an ENTP.

I am not a technical subject matter expert. My subject matter expertise is in organizational performance improvement and change agency/management.

I am not the guy you want developing or executing your procedures. I am the guy you want improving the performance of your organization or building a new organization for you. In detest routine but the key elements of what I bring is a very process focused view of organizational execution. It is a juxtaposition that I struggle with in my career.

The execution levels in my organizations tend to like working for and with me, my Sr executives engage me consistently. It is the mid level knowledge focused leaders (the by the book 1st and second level supervisory folks) that I have to put the most focus on creating strong work relationships with. These are the folks who have usually come up through the ranks and done well at various individual contributor roles on their way up. I blazed through the individual contributor roles and moved very quickly into leadership positions. As such the knowledge experts who came up through the ranks are my toughest demographic to win over.

You may want to do some reading on personality typing and effective strategies for communicating with and working with the various personality types found in most organizations.

Often a person that is found to be difficult is not being utilized in an environment that is suited to their personality type.

jojo68's picture

I am an ISTP...I'm not much of an effective leader but I like to play a role in assisting a leader to accomplish his/her goals. I have a very low BS tolerance and I don't beat around the bush but I also have a heart and would never hurt anyone intentionally. I treat others as they treat me. Bullies, phonies and liars are my least favorite beings.