O/T Eating Disorders
I need some opinions please. My ss is 9. He has ADHD and possibly a personality disorder. He was in therapy from Sept 1st 2008 to the end of January of 2009. He is going back to therapy and the only reason he was taken out was because he ended up getting medicated and my DH thought everything was "fixed". SS9 is underweight. I mean skeletor, are you feeding your kid, underweight. We are constantly having to make sure he eats, giving him boosts and ensure, ect. He will throw away food if you walk out of the room, tells you he likes things when he doesn't, eats really slow (like an hour for dinner). Anyway, in one of the last sessions, ss told the therapist that he was on a diet with his mom and that he wasn't supposed to talk about it because anything to do with his mom is private. His Mom is really sickly skinny, her head is now too big for her body. My husband has a really quick metabolism. We have had bloodwork done and everything is normal. This started happening before he was put on ADHD meds, so that isn't the problem either, ss9 actually talked about this diet before he was medicated. Well we have caught ss9 in lies about eating his lunch at daycare or at school, most of the time he was throwing his lunch away (yes, I know kids do that). Well about 2 months ago I noticed he was stuffing candy wrappers in the couch (where he is not supposed to be eating), which is fine, kids do these kinds of things. I was not REALLY worried until the last 2 weeks when I found actual food stuffed in our couches, unwrapped food hidden in the pantries (like 2 cookies in a pack, 1 was eaten, the other hidden), food hidden in his room, and tons of candy wrappers stuffed in his bed. I have been worried ever since he said the diet thing in therapy because he will say he's getting too fat and that when he looks in the mirror all he sees is fat. He is also obssessed with appearances and has told me over the last six months that I have "mushy stuff where Mommy has bone" and that I "have a big fat belly like Santa Claus". He has even told his Dad that he has a "pig belly". I am not fat and his Dad isn't either!!! We are normal sized. Not overweight, not underweight!!! I know eating disorders are a control thing and his son has control issues. Does it sound like there is an eating disorder or will be in the future? I know this is highly unlikely in boys, but it isn't totally unlikely. I also know he is young, but this stuff does start young. I need some opinions, my DH thought I was crazy when I brought this up, but I think alot of it has to do with him being scared. Any advice or opinions would help.
TEN PERCENT ARE MALES:
TEN PERCENT ARE MALES: Anorexia nervosa is a psychiatric illness that describes an eating disorder characterized by extremely low body weight and body image distortion with an obsessive fear of gaining weight. Individuals with anorexia nervosa are known to control body weight commonly through the means of voluntary starvation, excessive exercise, or other weight control measures such as diet pills or diuretic drugs. Although the condition primarily affects adolescent females, approximately 10% TEN PERCENT of people with the diagnosis are male.[1] Anorexia nervosa, involving neurobiological, psychological, and sociological components[2], is a complex condition that can lead to death in the most severe cases.
The term anorexia is of Greek origin: a (α, prefix of negation), n (ν, link between two vowels) and orexis (ορεξις, appetite), thus meaning a lack of desire to eat.[3]
"Anorexia nervosa" is frequently shortened to "anorexia" in the popular media. This is technically incorrect, as the term "anorexia" used separately refers to the medical symptom of reduced appetite (which therefore is distinguishable from anorexia nervosa in being non-psychiatric).
Thank you. I have read up
Thank you. I have read up on this. Do you think I am being over paranoid? Im only asking because he is only 9. I just don't want to be right on this and let it go and a couple years down the road have real problems or even death.
I don't think you're being
I don't think you're being overly paranoid at all.
One of my best guy friends in high school was anorexic and bulimic. It was awful. And I've had a number of students over the years who were anorexic.
Generally anorexia and bulimia start as coping mechanisms by people who feel out of control with their lives. Eating, and food, becomes the one thing they can control. Hoarding, moving, hiding food, comments about body weight (theirs or someone else's) very slow eating, very picky eating, are all classic signs.
The situation your SS is in -- being expected by one bioparent to ally with her, and the creation of an "us vs. them" dynamic -- is likely pushing him to a place where he feels out of control and like he's being pulled in all different directions. Something like that can manifest a physical reaction: controlling the boundaries of the body, and making oneself as small as possible to avoid taking up too much "space" or attracting too much attention.
You really need to tell your husband that this kid needs help. Anorexia has a relatively low cure rate (varying between about 25 and 50%) and relapses are common. The disease, of course, is potentially fatal -- and there is a higher suicide risk associated with it.
In other words, this is nothing to f*** around with. Your DH may be in denial, but this is no time for foot dragging. Do some research on line and show it to him. Good luck.
UCSM
"No matter how cynical I get, it's never enough." - Lily Tomlin
Thank you so much. I feel
Thank you so much. I feel alot better. I guess this will be one battle I fight. SS has alot of "issues" and I truly believe this has become his control mechanism. I think I may actually show DH your answer and research from the internet.