You are here

OT--double standards

dispiritedstepmom2011's picture

its been a stressful night and im on a roll.

i have a big family, lots of cousins and aunts/uncles. about a year ago, when having a particularly tough time being a stepmom, i vented alot on fb. not always about sd, but also about feeling bummed in life BECAUSE of sd. anyways, one of my aunts had sent me a message about 'not liking the person' i am becoming. anoher aunt messaged me about my language.

the first aunt has a son who is an aspiring rapper. he's good, but his lyircs are that of most rappers these days---cursing, sex, drugs, ghett life. he adds links to his songs and also puts lyrics as status'. she boasts about her sons acheivments with his rapping.

the language aunt has been using the same foul language in HER status' lately.

im pissed. also, i have noticed that the language aunt has commented on my other cousins walls and shows an interest in their lives, good and bad parts. me? nada. recently got engaged (but its on hold for now--read other post) and not one congrats from language aunt. other aunt said she heard a 'rumor' about it and when i confirmed she didnt answer back.

u all may be thinking they dont like bf, and basing it on past status' ect....maybe who knows idk.

just venting...sigh what a night.

Kes's picture

Personally, I am an ex FB user as I hated a lot of things about it. However, if you want to remain on it, I suggest you unfriend these unhelpful aunts immediately. Life's too short to have "friends" bringing you down when you need to vent.

Disneyfan's picture

Your family wants the best for you and your daughter.

It's hard for people who love you to get excited and toss out the congrats when they feel you're making a mistake.

duct_tape's picture

She's right about never telling your family and friends about relationship issues. They won't ever forget.

duct_tape's picture

Your aunts making comments about your language, that's your aunts being aunts. They think of themselves as sort of a surrogate mom sometimes. So what if her son is a rapper and uses profane lyrics, she sees a change in YOU that doesn't feel good. And, yes, she probably is very much trying to pin it and place it on your fiance. She saying, "you've changed, it's not for the better, he is the reason." or so it seems. I have found that in my life, when my family members had a doubt about a boyfriend, husband, whatever...they were always right. They are not judging the man, they are judging the man's affect on you. That is a much more accurate portrait of what's going on.

LPS's picture

I just had a thing on FB with my cousin, she took a picture I shared totally out of context and unfriended me, bye bye cuz. Then my aunt, her grandmother, said she doesn't go on FB because I offend her with my stuff. You know what, I don't care. I am me, if they both want to block there settings or unfriend me good bye. Who needs bullshit drama. I did nothing wrong, just like you did nothing wrong. If you dont want to unfriend your family, just block them from seeing your stuff and if their stuff upsets you, don't look at it. As for her being upset by the cursing, it's because your a woman and it makes you look unintelligent, as my mother would say. I say thats F-ing bullshit!! There's a saying, you can pick your nose and your friends but you cant pick your family, (or your friends nose, lol) it's so true. Don't let there pettiness upset you and btw, congrats on your engagement.