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Options for high school Delinquent

Lucytanner11's picture

Ok I have disengaged from SKs and The BM. Way too much drama and was causing me extreme stress. Basically BM and SKs called all the shots and DH had NO BALLS. I try and stay out of this crap except for things that will effect me Directly. Something maybe brewing that could effect me directly BUT before I jump in I would like people’s thoughts on what could be going on or the out come. Here it is... SK is a Senior in high school. SK high school Transcript has her overall GPA at 68. She signed up for a vo-tech program in school but flunked our. She can never make it to class before late morning and has a number of Detentions from being late. She has a shity Attitude of “ I don’t care”. The school wants both parents and SK to come in and discuss options. She already has a 504(?)plan in for school. My fear is number one BM can’t handle her and may try and dump this Delinquent on us fulltime and we will be supporting her till she’s 30.Or Somehow DH will have to split the cost of getting SK out of this mess she’s got into with her grades . Option number two is more likely as I don’t see BM giving up her monthly child support if she pushed SK onto us to live. Unfortunately SK has talked about college. Not sure where she stands with it now. It would cost a small Fortune just to pay for the classes she would have to retake just to get in any college. Call a Public high school kick you out for missing classes and poor grades? Not sure how she is going to be able to finish out the Senior year. Would you just sit back and wait and see what happens or should I jump in now to try and do damage control? 

SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

You can’t do more or care more than the BPs. Get your ducks in a row and give your “D”H notice that his spawn will NOT be living under your roof after she turns 18. Even if biohag kicks her out.

If he balks then you are not the priority. Then you plan your escape from StepHell. 

TheEvilStepmomStrikesBack's picture

I think you have to have a certain GPA AND a certain number of classes/credits to graduate (at least that’s how it was 14 years ago). Normally if she doesn’t have it she won’t graduate and have to do another year but not sure how that would work with the 504 (which from my recent reading is something like a IEP???) 


if ahe somwhow manages to graduate, why not suggest tech school or a community college? That way you get to see how serious she is about it without spending a ridiculous amount of money for a 4 year college or university. Also set guidelines. If her grades drop below____, then she’s on her own 


at at least that’s my plan in 9.5 years! 

Lucytanner11's picture

SD already took tech classes in high school and flunked out So not sure how she would do second time around. The problem is her attitude not that she’s dumb. My fear is the only reason she wants to go to college is for the party experience since mommy and daddy will be paying for the whole thing And not give a crap about her grades. Regarding high school she always pretty much manages to just barely pass. In our high school you have to have a GPA of 65 to pass so as you see she just barely squeaking by with the 68.

Step-girlfriend's picture

I hope you would not put ANY money towards her college. Why would college be any different than high school? I find it highly unlikely that she's going to put in the required effort to pass college classes when it's someone else's dime and doesn't really affect her. I would start directing her towards student loan resources. This way it's on HER to do well. If she doesn't try, she just wasted her own money, not yours.

tog redux's picture

Public high school cannot kick her out because of grades and absences; however, they can keep her from graduating. My SS was like your SD but they pushed him through to graduation because they didn't want to ruin their 4-year graduation rate, plus they were sick of him, I'm sure. Schools here do "credit recovery", which means catching up with online classes done at school.

Don't jump in, stay out. Just tell DH that under no circumstances can she live with you. The rest is on him.

Lucytanner11's picture

the school is going to recommend Something. Not sure what but Whatever it is I guarantee it will be not covered under school and will have to be paid out of pocket to get her through high school to graduate. Since she is already in a 504 program I don’t know what the school is going to discuss but I wish I had a heads up so I could figure out how to handle it IF it’s going to effect me

tog redux's picture

Why would it be out of pocket?  A 504 is only the first step, it's not even an official special ed classification, she can still get that - an IEP.  If she gets that, she is entitled to a lot more supports. Public schools can't charge you for any kind of educational supports.

justmakingthebest's picture

With the 504/ IEP classifications where I am- depending on what is going on, they can stay in public school transition programs until they are 25 years old. My only fear of this for you is that CS usually goes until 18 AND the child graduates. If they agree to keep her in extended programs they won't graduate her. Therefore CS will keep on going....