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Opinions on Christmas?

nikki_01's picture

Ok so obviously I bought my son a few teething toys and sleepers. But he's only 3 months, it's not like he's even old enough to understand anything that's going on lol.

So what do I do about the 5 year old SD? My mom keeps saying "have her make a gift bag of things for a child in need this Christmas. Teach her the gift of giving".

....Yes I personally like that idea...DH on the other hand just isn't buying it. His response was "So what, she'll have to do that while she watches her brother get a bunch of gifts?"

...of course I just kept my comments to myself so he wouldn't pull out the favoritism card.

So what should I get her, if anything? A toy? A trip to an indoor pool? Or should I just let DH get what he wants for her and leave it at that?

Glassslipper's picture

WE too have a budget per kid, all equal. We don't want anyone feeling like the favorite or the wicked step child, so we treat them all the same and fair.

In our house now and especially when the kids were 5 years old like your SD, majority of the things came from Santa...and pajamas and a book or blanket or clothes came from me and DH. We would write on the tag from Dad and Glassslipper for the skids and from Mom and DH for DD and DS.

You and your DH can get her a gift or gifts from both of you...right? it doesn't just have to be from DH?

onthefence2's picture

Do NOT "have her make a gift bag of things for a child in need" in lieu of buying her anything! Is that what she meant?! Do that as well, but yes, get her something. Most families have the Christmas morning custodial parent do the "big Christmas" and the other parent gets a few gifts.

PokaDotty's picture

We have a budget as well. Everyone should feels special on Christmas - especially young kids.

momandmore's picture

same here. I also agree that SD picking out things for a child in need is a good idea. That's very good character building as well. I did this with MSD when she had issues with stealing things from other kids, just zero respect for other people's property. SD was sure I was having her pick things out for herself at the time and just trying to trick her and she was a little upset at first when she found out she was wrong.. but in the end it worked out for the best.

I bought the items she picked out for her as well, without her knowing, and after she got the point of it, I gave them to her.

Teas83's picture

I would also like to teach my SD about giving to kids who are less fortunate than her. She's got piles of stuffed teddy bears she never plays with that are in great shape and I would like her to donate them to families in need. We're moving soon and it would be nice to not have to move a bunch of her crap again.

I suggested this to my husband, and he's not a fan. "Poor SD, we can't just make her give her toys away!"

She always gets way more presents than most kids do at Christmas anyway. I'd like to make room for the new stuff by getting rid of some old stuff, especially since she only comes EOWE. I would also get rid of some of DD's stuff that she's outgrown just to make it fair.

I wanted to do this after she made the comment, "I'm glad I get to be here for Christmas this year. I always get way better presents here."

nikki_01's picture

Well technically we are just getting her Christmas eve, she lives with her mom during the school year. I think my mom was just thinking she's already going to be getting presents at her mom's and from every other family member, so we should have her do that when she stays with us that day. Which is kinda why I was thinking that I'd do that, and then maybe we could take her swimming for her Christmas gift that way we could all interact instead of giving her a toy to just run off to her room with for the day. I just don't want to get her too much because she is spoiled by her dad already and everyone else. I'd just like my gift to be a little more meaningful than getting her a bunch of toys. But DH is having a fit because "she needs something to open".

...Open up her heart. Then open up the door to the pool. lmao I thought it was a good idea!

Willow2010's picture

Im sorry but I agree with your DH on this one. She is 5 years old FFS. Why on earth would you NOT want to get her a Christmas gift? I just do not understand.

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

A five-year-old would be happy with a few things from the dollar store. As long as she's got something to open, and it's a toy, she'll probably be fine.

The gift bag for charity thing is a nice idea, but not in lieu of a gift.

nikki_01's picture

Well I will get her something small then. And foreverstacy we only have her in the summertime.

Like I said, I wanted to set my gift apart. She gets showered with toys all year from DH, BM, BM's family AND DH's family.

I just thought that DH could do the toy-buying thing and then I could do the gift giving thing and then take her swimming. But apparently that makes me the devil. lmao

nikki_01's picture

Idk why he's so worried about her having "things to open", he's doing that anyways, getting her things to open! haha