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one. small. step.

ocs's picture

We had SD12 recently. It's the first time we've had her since DH and I had words regarding my, let's say, 'lack of enthusiasm' with this skid. I disengaged in March and I think he finally clued in. (He has EOW)

About 24hrs before he picks her up I get moody and anxious... Can't help it.

VERY busy weekend socially, but all of it child friendly, so I took it as an opportunity to make nice. I love my DH and he has asked me to engage and I will try again. SLOWLY...
Some things happened that day that set me off. She ignored me initially and when I made a point of saying "Hi Skid!" loudly, she mumbled 'hey' and never even looked at me... there was about ZERO talking that day bw her and I. DH didn't notice the mumble...(we were at a kid's party) a few more standoff'ish things happened and I felt angry.
We had an argument and within 12 hours he apologized and took the blame for his part in it, I feel he was sincere.

I was brought up that when someone walks in you say hi and address them by name, same goes for when you leave. If I ever said 'Hey' to an adult??? I would have had my head knocked off.

Most of the next day he was a very attentive dad and DH. Even SD was jovial and funny. Upon dropping her off, she made a production out of "goodbye Dadddddyyyyy- will I see Dadddddyyyyyy soon????" and hopped out of the car. I said 'bye' and she ignored me. He promptly made her stop and say goodbye. My mouth almost fell open. First.time ever.

ocs's picture

You guys are so right... I didn't thank him...

Part of me is so done with it, that my attitude is kind of like- "Damn right..."

But then, he does need some positive reinforcement. Smile

luchay's picture

Smile Yes, as hard as it is, because the reality is we shouldn't have to thank them for doing the right thing by us and their kids, and make a big production of it, it's like training anything - posititve reinforcement LOL

I have thanked my OH for similar things, because it shows that he is trying.

Glad you have had a positive experience, they seem few and far between!!