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Ok I KNOW SS is weird but why such odd Behavior??

LucyConnors87's picture

SS is 12 and has the MOST Annoying habits. 

Last week DH and I were plannng our family summer vacation. SS has the whole house but HAS to sit in but has to be in the same room as daddy. After about ten minutes he starts rolling around on the floor because he’s “bored” and waiting for daddy to play with him.  Now MOST kids his age are able to go off and watch tv read a book listen to music SOMETHING right? Nope! SS LOVES watching tv but refuses to watch without daddy sitting next to him. He HATES reading anything and the ONLY way DH can get him to read for school is to sit with him and read the book with him. Yep kid is in 6th grade. SS has NO interest in any popular music. I could tell you more about the teen bands then he could. 

SS has no real true friends. He has a few buddies at school but does not do anything with them outside of school. We live in his School district in a large family neighborhood and he has no interest in riding his bike or walking around the neighborhood to make friends. He just wants to hang with daddy. 

SS is a real homebody and wants to be attached at the hip to DH. So Annoying as SS is over 50 percent of the time and is demanding of DH Constant attention. Now add SS is a classic spoiled brat. Probably the reason why he doesn’t have any real friends. 

Now I know Girls can be more clingy but boys???? WTF?! My brother from the time he was 12 would lock himself in his room for hours playing old school Video games or listen to music. He was not following my dad around like a sad puppy wanting to be entertained 24/7. 

 

 

 

lorlors's picture

Even way earlier than that, he should have his own interests, friends and stuff going on. The book being read with him by daddy is seriously weird.

STaround's picture

I get it that you are in his school district, but he may not know many kids in the neighborhood.  I dont think kids just ride over on bikes these days and makes friends.  

raindrop's picture

Hmmm. I have a friend who had a son just like this, except, his parents are still married, but nonetheless, he was locked at both of their hips. They used to think it was only because he was the only child. And then one day when he was 10, the 3 of them went to a department store together and just so happened to bump into a classmates mom. That mom greeted them and jokingly asked if they were there to pick up a gift for a different classmates birthday party later in the day. They had no idea about any birthday party and they asked their son if he was invited, to which he said, yes. The next obvious question was why didn’t he want to attend? He replied he liked being home. They dug a bit deeper and discovered that he is frequently bullied at school and has been for years, so he avoided kids as much as possible and felt more comfortable hanging out with mom n dad. They figured out a way to help him and he’s 15 now and much better.  

GoingWicked's picture

I think having inconsistent parents is what causes this behavior.  Kids that are heathy mentally want to grow up, become independent, and move out.  Kids that have parents that aren’t dependable become scared, clingy and stunted in that regard.  Both of my kids loved learning how to do things for themselves, they can play by themselves, and they have no problems making friends.  SD needed some hard pushes to do things for herself, she would throw big temper tantrums over just having to dress herself or brush her own teeth at 4, things my kids at 2 were chomping at the bit to do themselves, and she completely lacks the confidence to join in with other kids’ play, or with conversations with other people, and she (at 15) relies on DH or our much younger kids to entertain her in group social settings, even with family.  I’m not sure there is anything to do about it.  DH is a guilty dad and doesn’t follow through on discipline, though he does try to encourage and motivate better behavior/attitude, and BM is just a big mess. 

SM12's picture

It is odd to have a 12 year old kid who wants to spend all their time with their parent.   However my BS21 was like that at the same age.  He Always preferred to be at home with me than at a friends house.  He became very clingy after I was divorced and dating.  He was even clingy with his dad when he was with him.  It lasted several years.   When he was about 16 things started to change and he ventured out more and because more comfortable around kids his own age.   

The reasons he was such a homebody was because of severe shyness, and the fact he had been bullied a lot in elementary and jr high.  

He was in sports and other functions at school and had friends at school but tended to like to keep his home life and school life separate.   

Today he is totally Launched, wonderful young man who has many close friends and enjoys a full social life.  When he comes home to visit, he still likes to hang with the family and cacoon haha.  He enjoys home being his sanctuary and place of peace. 

Just keep trying to get him involved in outside activities such as band, choir or sports.   Take him to try different things.  I exposed my BS to different sports, activities and places so he could find what interests him and then explore that more. 

Yes it is annoying and a huge pain to have a kid up your butt.  But he needs to be shown how to interact with others.  Eventually it will stick and he will venture out on his own.   

Mans my YSS is exactly like my BS.  He loves to be at home with us.  He is 12 and just now starting to want to spend more time with friends. 

Simetimes you have to give them a little guidance until the feel more confident within themselves.