Gifts that the ex buys the skids should be kept at his/her place so the skids can enjoy them during visitation times. (unless it's things like clothes, but as far as toys and games are concerned they should stay at the exes place. My SO's ex never buys the skids practical things they need like clothes and shoes so this is an non issue. The toys and games she buys them stay at her place, not ours, where they should be). Why is the game even at your place? It should be at the exes place. As far as your SO's comments I would tell him he's a douche........because he is...... and if his stupid comments continue he can play the game with his ex while you find another man to play your own games with but the games you play with your new man will actually be fun

All things Psycho buys gets sent back to her dump (so like nothing). The ugly chair she got SD5 last year? I took it through the rain to the outside building.... The squirrels and humity took care of it. (I should mention it was a character SD5 had long since outgrown and she didn't want the chair).

General rule of thumb though. If she buys it, it gets sent back over there. Because honestly we don't need the crap. If her fmaily buys it for them we're more lenient. Normally all she ever gets them is outdated stuff they won't play with and that just take up space. So they go bye bye.

It didn't bother me to have SS bring stuff that his mother bought him over here, though he rarely did. I may not like the woman, but it is his mother - I had no trouble playing with stuff his mother gave him.  Why is this a problem for you? Not really understanding.

 Typically things don’t go between homes for us. That being said I don’t see the issue. This is going to come out harsh but it seems really petty and almost alienating. If it’s not harmful to the child / breaking your rules then get over it. I wouldn’t want to make the kid feel bad about wanting to play with a toy from their mom. It’s like rejecting them.  

It's a toy.. not anything I would care if the kids had me playing with them.  Unless it had her image..lol.  If it was a toy I found annoying I would ensure that the kids took it with them on their next trip home..lol.

I think toys should be kept at separate houses. When the skids were little, they did not bring toys back and forth, so none of BM's gifts came to our house. When the skids got older, they asked for electronics, video games, and legos. The legos also stayed at respective houses. The electronics/video games were allowed to go back and forth.

I think what annoyed me more was that because the skids didn't bring toys back and forth, they would ask for the same toys at both houses. They were so flush with toys that they didn't need separate lists at each house. They continued to do this with electronics and video games and legos. They had duplicates of everything in both homes. It all seemed so wasteful to me. I think it contributed to the entitled nature that SS has.

I would get direct with your SO and let him know that nothing that his X injects into the home will be tolerated to jeapardize the calmness of the home and it it continues anything the X gifts will be sent back to the X's home.

End of discussion.

Good luck.

That her SO glorifies his ex's gifts into some form of family get togetherness ot therapy. "Look at the great thing my ex bought..Play with SK with it, no, go on, no, don't be petty, no, play with SK and the awesome gift my ex bought, don't be silly because oy EX bought it for SK."

If SO doesn;t get the hint tell him like this "Yes, your ex bought SK a present. How parental of her. Now this is your shared child and I am sure Ex bought it so you can play with SK, not me. I am not being petty, I am not crossing boundaries which is perfectly OK. Or you can call her and ask if she minds me playing this *insert gift name* with SK. So I have laundry to fold and you can play with SK and everyone is happy! .. You have something better to do? Than play with your own child? Put your cell phone down for 5 freaking minutes and play with your child. What kind of father are you? Maybe SK will be better off with your Ex seeing you don't want to spend time playing with him/her. I have laundry to do." And walk away.

See how this works? You turn it back to HIM playing with his child and not you. With a dusting of doubting his ability to be a 'good parent' and a smidgen of 'maybe ex is the better parent.'. It is worth a try.

Yeah, if it's a fun game I'll play it. What do I care?

Last weekend we had the kids was Hanukkah. I'm not Jewish and neither is BM (SO is). She knew we were doing Hanukkah and sent down her big (and very good!) Jewish cookbook. I thought - 'oh that's sweet!'. My SO said she didn't do it to be nice...but to set a marker down. Whatever. We still picked out recipes from the book and cooked them together with the kids, we still had a nice Hanukkah. They never did that when they were together (my SO isn't very observant) but I wanted to do it and the kids loved it, so we will carry on in future years - I mean what's not to love about a holiday featuring fried foods?

What? I play with SD regardless of who bought the toy. This seems like a really strange, petty thing to be upset over.

My stepdaughter is spending christmas at her moms for the first time this year, so we've agreed that we can send our usual "christmas eve basket" with her and she'll open it while her brother open's his on video chat xmas eve. We always put a toy, book, and pajamas in the basket. I'm sure BM will end up dressing her in the PJs, reading her the book, and playing with the toy with her... I don't see the problem. Be civil for the child's sake. 

I love this site and how people automatically jump to attacking and judging one another. What is good for one person isn't always good for another. Every situation is different and depending on the details of the relationship what works for one person wouldn't be a good idea for another. I always believe in situations like these depend on your SO, their attitude towards their ex, the ex, the exes story and background, etc. For example say your SO has been divorced for decades, their ex has moved on and remarried, and the ex respects boundaries, isn't invasive generally and doesn't cause many issues. Then someone would react differenlty than someone who's SO's ex is regularly invasive, doesn't do their fair share of the parenting and financial help, hasn't remarried, hasn't moved on and always causing issues that their SO fails to address. One answer isn't wrong or right, it just depends on the situation. The thing that stands out to me as another seperate issue is the SO pressuring and almost mocking their SO if they do not also play with and get involved with these games/gifts the ex has bought their kids which really shoulnd't be at the house without talking to the SO about it in the first place. It seems the relationship is a little off and might be bordering on emotional abuse.

It doesn't have to be complicated. Gifts from the ex stay at exes place so skids can have them during visitation. End of discussion. It seems ex is trying to plant a territory marker considering the exes past behavior.  Do not tolerate it.

Kids could play with whatever toys. i don’t understand why and who is forcing YOU to play with toys. I also don’t understand why you HAVE to have those toys in your house? Don’t boyfriend and his kids keep them in their own house? Why are they dragging it to yours? Makes no sense.  

There’s two teddy bears and was some inflated balloons sd got for her birthday in my house. The balloons got thrown away and she did not notice, I don’t want to be obvious about the teddy bears but eventually I may tuck them under bed to see if she notices lol