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Not really sure what to do

Flowerlily94's picture

So my boyfriend and I have been together for two years. I have a 5 year old and he has a 5 year old and we also have a 7 month old together. His 5 year old daughter does not listen to me AT ALL. I went over to my bf’s moms house today with both of my daughters and I told her many times not to pick her sister up and she kept trying to and one of the times she ended up picking her up and she dropped my 7 month old baby. Luckily she didn’t get hurt but it made me so sad. I then told her not to give her baby sister any yogurt and she pretended to put the yogurt spoon in her mouth by touching her lips with it. Right in front of me!! As we were walking out the door she took her sock off and through it at my 5 year old daughter face and my daughter said why would you do that? My daughter started to tear up and then my step daughter started laughing and snickering at her :(. She is a bully to my daughter and when ever she doesn’t get what she wants she has a HUGE fit and she is constantly doing a whining cry fit thing. She doesn’t share. She gives everyone an evil look if she isn’t getting her way and slams doors and screams.

Harry's picture

If SD is with you then your the one to do something.  Do not take SD with you. You should not allow, you must not allow, your DD to get hurt. You have to be the Adult 

Flowerlily94's picture

 

My SD lives her grandma right now and my BF and I will in the future transition her to moving in with us. We went over there to visit them. My 7 months old grandma. So I feel a little weird disciplining her at her grandmas. 

SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

Put the brakes on having that bully in your home. Do not take your baby over to stupid MiL unless the brat is at school or with her BM etc.

Flowerlily94's picture

My SD lives her grandma right now and my BF and I will in the future transition her to moving in with us. We went over there to visit them. My 7 months old grandma. So I feel a little weird disciplining her at her grandmas. 

Anon9876's picture

Yeah, I don't know that moving her in with you is going to make things better. That just gives her the opportunity to act out even more.

Does she listen to your DH?

ndc's picture

If the SD is harming your children, you need to discipline whether you're uncomfortable at grandma's or not. If you can't, and grandma or your BF won't, discipline in that situation, then don't go over there. It's not fair to your kids to be dropped and bullied.  This sounds like it could be a miserable transition.  Is the expectation that your BF will do the majority of the parenting of SD once she's at your house?

Flowerlily94's picture

He wants it to be mutual. He said I can be stern with her. But I have tried being stern and still she ignores that I am even talking to her. Even if she is standing right in front of me looking at me in the eyes. She will just look at me and do the bad thing she is doing. She will even smile when she does it

Ijessie87's picture

try spanking her. That little 5 year old girl needs a reality check. and if hes got a problem with it, oh well. You are the adult, and kids are the dependants. We can all be friends but there is a hierarchy. 

SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

No.

if OP touches the stepbrat it could destroy her life. Never lay a hand on a stepbrat. Disengage instead.

SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

Disengage from that brat right now. No SO around, no stepbrat. Do NOT do for her any longer. No rides, no money. Nothing. Keep your kids away from the brat. Your baby is only the HALF sibling of that turd.

Rags's picture

Time to start swatting toxic 5yo SD ass and leading her by twisted ear to the nearest corner to hold up the intersecting walls with her nose until you get tired for her failure to do what she is told.  She is going to hurt the baby if you don't.  .  Your own DD needs to start punching her in the nose when she bullies.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

If this does not happen NOW and consistently going forward, it will get far worse later.