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Not a normal scenario

katandrich's picture

I have a daughter who is 16 and my partner has 2 daughters at the age of 12 and 15. My partner has his two daughters every second weekend and once a week he goes to his ex partners home where the girls are and sees them for two hrs, the ex is usually in the study so he can spend time with the girls, helping with homework etc. I'm not allowed to attend and they are not allowed to our place on the Wednesday.
My daughter who is 16 doesn't want to see me, so she lives with her father and her stepmother and half brothers and sisters. I've tried contacting her and she doesn't want anything to do with me.
My partners ex and my ex are friends, they live a street away from each other and regularly have dinner together, they only met when they realised my Partner and I were together, and trust me they have made life hard for both of us.
I have unfortunately been incarcerated twice for fraud, which in itself has been strain but we have got through it and life has been good.
Our current situation is hard though and I don't lie. My partner and I both work very hard. He is on a pretty good pay bracket and some here, I pay my child support, for a child who doesn't want to see me and he pays for his two. Last year he was only meant to pay the minimum for his kids but his ex cracked it and asked him to pay more so he did and thought they had come to an arrangement but this year he has earned alot more and now has to pay huge amount and she wants to have as much as she is entitled. I think this is so unfair, as we have bought the kids alot, computers, ipods, we buy them clothes every fortnight because she won't let them bring their clothes here so we are forever paying for the clothes and stuff here. She also works and also does cash jobs so it's not traceable, it's really not fair.
My partners family even go over to her place for haircuts, which I really think is bazzarra since they hate her so much and are forever saying horrible things about her, so I don't no where their head is at, but then again they are strange.
My step daughters well the 15 year old is special to me, she is my friend she wrote this the other day for me Your hearts been stabbed, played with and broken so many times
It’s a miracle your still staying strong
Even through all the hard times
All the fights we had
We have always pulled through
We may not technically be related
But we are family
I will always be here for you
And you deserve to be happy

You don’t deserve the crap you get
And you should have the world at your feet
But life isnt always fair
And opportunities come and go
When one door closes another one opens
You should never feel alone or trapped
Because I will always have to key or a rope
To come and save you
I may be young
But I can do anything If I put my mind to it
Our past is the past
It use to define us
But its how strong we are to move forward
And ignore the comments about our past
You are strong enough to accomplish anything
And you are amazing

She's going through boyfriends and wanting to experiment, but she openly talks to my partner and I about this stuff as she can't talk to her mum because she judges her too much. She wants to live with us and do one week on and one off but her mother has said no because she has given up so much for her, which is blackmail but hey what can I do.
The 12 year old, is a little spoilt #$%^&, butter wouldn't melt in her mouth and seriously she makes me sick. She is so disrespectful and just likes causing trouble. Dad doesn't see it and what I've been told the same at her mothers. She doesn't listen to anyone and when she doesn't get her way she tries to cause all sorts of trouble. I've been so tempted to leave as the father doesn't think that a 12 year old can be manipulative and lie, but I've got news for him and it's all bad. She's really fake, even to her friends it's so sad.
I've stayed and then it all rears it's ugly head again, and that's where I'm at now, wanting to leave again. I cook, clean look after them all, when it's just us, he gets his dinner, lunches made, cleaned house and washing and then when they are here I do it all again for all of them. It's like I'm their maid or something and then when I complain and say I've had it he just says leave theres the door go.
Sorry this is my vent

StepKidto3Momto3's picture

Actually, it sounds like a pretty normal scenario to me. It does concern me that you only see these girls once a month yet you have developed extreme feelings for them; and that you are polarizing them (one "special" and one " #$%^&" ). I would suggest that you get counseling to help you deal with all of this.