is this normal???
my bf is noticeably more strict and inpatient with his oldest son (age 6) who was conceived out of casual sex. He can't stand the mother. The child is such a goood kid and he tries sooo hard to please his daddy. But it's like he can't do anything right!
His other son, age 5, is completely babied by him. This son was also conceived out of wedlock, but he eventually married her and it ultimately ended very badly. They are not on amicable terms. He babies this kid like no other!
I just wonder why he expects so much from his 6 year old, yet, babies his 5 year old?
Also, is it odd that neither kid can ride a bike, even with training wheels? My nephew is riding a bike WITHOUT training wheels and he's in 1st grade. Anyway, bf puts them on the bike and they place their feet on the peddles sideways, never look up, swirve everywhere. arrrgh.
Seems he has his favorite.
Seems he has his favorite. That sucks. Kid can't help who he is, but he sure can feel terrible when he realizes daddy loves little brother more than me.
As for the bikes... they will learn in time. Even if no one helps them. Give them a bike (forget the training wheels, they just make learning time last longer) and a big field of grass (easier to learn on grass, riding more slowly, hurts less when you crash), and tell them to have at it.
Yea, I have called him out on
Yea, I have called him out on it and he said he is aware and is trying to change. He said it's because he never really bonded with his oldest. After she had him, she went back to her husband and my BF didn't get to see him again until visitations were worked out. Here are some examples:
His kid didn't say helmet correctly. He said halment. My bf asked...."what is halment? Talked right. Is that how your mom says helmet?"
and the other day I was playing baseball with the oldest outside. His dad was inside mopping. Oldest excused himself from baseball to use the bathroom, but he immedietely came back outside after excusing himself. He said he didnt want to walk across his dad's freshly mopped floor. Awwwe. His dad came out for a second and told him he could use the bathroom. I went in for some water and then I heard his dad say "Ohhh man Jason, u really smelled up the bathroom. Wow. that really stinks". I'm thinking....wtf. whose shit doesnt stink and was that really necessary to point out? At lest he isn't shitting his pants like his younger one does once iin a while.
GG is kind of like this. He
GG is kind of like this. He is much "stricter" with the oldest, Brainiac (SS stb 15), whereas with his daughter, the completely evil and manipulative Venus De Milo (SD stb 13) he lets her get away with anything and as for the youngest, well Prince Hygigene (SS 8 1/2) is practically emaculated.
I think it has to do with birth order as well. GG is the very tail end baby of the family from the 2nd and last marriage. So he naturally relates to his "babies" and not the oldest.
Whereas I am the older of two girls. My younger sister was the "golden child." So i relate more to GG's oldest. He is also the one that accepted me more right from the start and didn't beer bong the PAS from the evil Behemoth (BM). But now he hates his dad so that means he hates me as well.
The younger two disrespect and pretend to "love" daddy for his money but absolutely DESPISE me.
I was an only child and
I was an only child and didn't feel like a favorite so it's hard for me to comprehend. That said, every family I've seen seems to have favorites. My ex-DH favored his oldest, his daughter. He didn't believe it until the daugther said (at 15), "Let's face it, I'm your favorite and (brother) is mom's favorite." I couldn't resist the 'I told you so smirk.'
And my current SO favors his eldest son (16) and kind of babies his youngest, SD(10). The middle SS13 always seems to get the short end of the stick - the worse chores, SO doesn't spend as much time at his football practices, etc. And he tries the hardest to please his father. SO says he relates to his oldest son the most because they are a lot alike. He cuts the eldest son slack because he's borderline learning impaired and takes longer to 'catch on to things' (which I conisder enabling). SO has told me that he doesn't think his middle son is actually his child and I can't help but think that plays against him as not being the favorite. SO tells me that he gives his middle son the harder chores because he has the best work ethic and will actually do the job right. SO tries to make up for perceived favortism when he realizes what he's doing which, in my opinion, doesn't happen often enough.
My SO's parents favor his sister, my SM's family favored her brother, my ex-DH's family favored the sister...so on and so forth.
So I guess it's somewhat "normal" but not right.
It is not nice to make your
It is not nice to make your favorite so obvious! DH does this a lot to the point kids notice! when princess SD14 is good - SHE is his FAV and pushes BD12 aside; but when SD is bad BD becomes his FAV! It is very babyish. He also allows BD9 to do more then the 12 year old? Weird!!
**Get those boys riding bikes - w/o training wheels!! I think you should point out how you feel - be careful though; they get defensive!!