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None of HER business!! A short rant...

DISbelief's picture

So, we had set a wedding date for a weekend that we KNEW we would have the kids... but then our DJ (who is also my Uncle, who basically took my dads place when I was 13) was not able to be there. So after WEEKS of going back and forth, we set a new date... but it is on a weekend that the kids are due at their other parents house. Great. My fear is that BM will pull something stupid last minute and not give SS over for the wedding. SOOOOOOOOO, we did as the Custody paperwork outlines, and requested vacation time. Just 24 hours... but I wanted it IN WRITING, WAY in advance, so she can't pull any crap if she decides to be her bitchy self that weekend... I mailed the letter 2 days ago.

She apparently already got it.. and sent FH a text last night... it said this "got ur letter is that my weekend and why u send? can I get my cs check on friday?"

Ok, if it was OUR weekend... do you think we would have sent a vacation notification??? And WHY, well STUPID, because that is what we are SUPPOSED to do when we want time that is really YOURS. I don't want to mess with "swapping days" and the possibility of her getting angry with one of us between now and then and going back on it...and WHY we want him that weekend, is flatout NONE OF HER BUSINESS. She can't tell me she already has something planned for that day, it is at the END OF AUGUST.

And NO you can't have your CS on Friday. We get paid on the 1st, so YOU will get paid on the 1st. And I will put it in the mail, like I do EVERY month.... you will get it when the mail man delivers it...

FH didn't even respond to her email. He just said that she will have to figure out the calander on her own... and WHY is none of her business.... and she will figure out about the check when she gets it in the mail, NEXT WEEK.

Just had to vent. I guess I am really nervous that she is going to do something to screw up our day.

secondwife20's picture

when we have to worry about stupid warthogs on one of the most precious days of our lives. For me, I didn't have to worry about BM or Blabb! It was heaven. Smile Anyway, try not to worry too much about that stupid woman. You have done everything right on your part, and if she tries to pull something off, make her regret it.

StepG's picture

when we got married we never told BM we were getting married SS told that. However once he told her we were getting married there was a few times she kept him from visitation. So needless to say we were nervous wrecks that the wedding weekend which was our weekend was going to be ruined because BM decided she would be funky and not let him come. We never let her know the weekend it was and when we got him that Friday we took his soccer uniform and asked what time the game was the next day then called the next day and said we are busy and SS we cannot make it to soccer game. I would have been devastated if she had not let him come that weekend. It would have been a sad wedding if even one at all. I do not think I could have married witout SS there. How old is SS? If she did try to be funky could SS not voice his opinion that he wanted to go?

DISbelief's picture

I am sure she will figure it out eventually, since she checks my myspace page OFTEN....

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~ ; )

BridgingTheGap's picture

make your myspace page "private" so that only your friends can see your page. that way, none of your info is accessible to her and you can still have a shot at keeping the date secret

DISbelief's picture

but it is a small town, and we have many mutual "friends" on there.... so one of them is letting her on to see my page and I am not sure WHO it is to narrow it down and get rid of this "friend".

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~ ; )

Chel Bell's picture

this was back when he was still in "that place"......my DH and I had a date set, and as it drew closer, I asked my Ex about having the kids there for the wedding, but it was "his" time with them, and he had planned to take them on a mimi vacation in a R.V., and of course guess what day he was leaving, yup, day before the wedding. I kept my cool, it was a very small wedding, so I picked my battle so to speak, but, 5 months later when my family came into town, my DH and I had a "second"/ real wedding on the beach, and my kids were there. I don't know what was worse for him, knowing that I was marring my DH twice, or having to see me come and pick up my kids in my "wedding dress", cause he just had to come outside and stare. Not one of his finer moments. We had a wonderful day/evening, and have beautiful wedding pictures now, with my kids all dressed up, standing with us, front and center. Smile "We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand."~ Randy Pausch

Endora's picture

Is one of the things I hate most about Step parenting-

I am glad SS16 is 16 because if he were 6 and we had to deal with BM we would have NO vacation-no emergency favours and would have to hire sitters if ANYTHING infringed on HER time-but God forbid we do not do favours for HER-

The good old double standard-

If Zippy was younger than 16, it would be a nightmare!-I really feel for families having to deal with scheduling for holidays and special occasions.

Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!

WowjustWow's picture

We had made arrangements to change weekends with BM for our wedding, well she decided to be a bitch (as usual) the week of our wedding. She allowed my SD's to be in the wedding, but DH had to pick the kids up at 3pm and get them to my parent's house to get ready and be on our way to the church by 4. Needless to say, they barely had time to enjoy getting ready and getting dolled up like all the other kids in the wedding (I was a nanny and have young cousins that were all included). The service started at 4:30 and by 5:15 BM was calling DH's cell telling him she was waiting outside the reception place. The kids didn't even get to walk in and see it all decorated. BM is lucky I didn't march down the street and punch her square in the face. SD's are still upset the missed the fun part with the food and dancing with all the other kids. However BM has SD14 brainwashed to say "well the pictures took too long" and that's why they didn't get to attend any of the reception. Bull shit!!! DH and BM had decided to have them picked up at 8pm!!!! She just wanted to be a bitch! Not to mention, be nosy and see what a nice wedding we had. Her wedding was done quickly and cheaply as she was 6 months pregnant.

It makes me sad when SD12 looks at our wedding album and asks questions about the "party" because she doesn't understand why she didn't get to go (she was 9 at the time).

Don't these BM's realize the only one's they are hurting are the kids???

Serena's picture

and put a decoy date on there? Tell everyone on myspace that you're getting married like 2 weeks after the actual date. Your real friends will know the truth and she won't be expecting it. Be prepared though, even if you get it in writing, she could still screw it up. It's not like a judge can force her to turn him over at 4 pm on a saturday or something.

We had the other extreme, BM wanted to actually come to our wedding so she could see SD all dressed up. Like she's never seen her dressed up, all the pagaents and crap she's in?! It's bad enough DH sent her pictures of the wedding, but at least he told her he can't come.

DISbelief's picture

There was a point a while back that BM asked if she could come to the wedding. I had to tell her no, that would be to awkward, and the FH's family would not want her there, and neither would he. They all hated her. In his words just a few days ago to my mom "no one liked my ex wife, not even me"... I still can't believe she had the nerve to even THINK we would invite her.

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~ ; )